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02-13-2021, 05:09 PM | Topic Starter |
Live free or die hard
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Durango, CO
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Women and Toilet Seats
Last night around 3:30am MST I wake up to a sound that I assumed someone was assaulting my wife in our bathroom It was so rowdy and roaring that even my loyal canine friend jumped up on the bed and pulled me off by my subtle, yet boldly anatomy defining boxer briefs to alert me that there's something awry in the otter abode.
Burgler? Nope. Natural disaster? Nope. Alien invasion? Nope I forgot to put the toilet seat down and love of my life, the twinkle of my eye, the woman I want to be buried with (especially if I die first) went bare ass first into cold toilet water. Grew up in a house with 4 men; My father, myself, and two brothers and and I sit down to take a dump at lease once a day and in my 40 years taking these movements I've never, not once, went ass first into toilet water. I assume the toilet is up much like I assume the roads are going to be slick if it was snowing or if I reach for an horderve which has a flame underneath it's going to be hot. If I forget to put the toilet seat down and you forget to check after 7 years the best answer I can come up with is "You can argue which one of us is more stupid" and I will not agree with you. /EndMarriedLifeRant Oh, and welcome to the post season!!! |
Posts: 26,417
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02-13-2021, 05:12 PM | #2 |
It was not a fair catch
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Correcting papers
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odds are you die first.
either she kills you or you try to get away |
Posts: 36,844
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02-13-2021, 05:14 PM | #3 |
Life is changing..
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NW Missouri
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Happy Valentine's Day!
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Posts: 39,347
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02-13-2021, 05:15 PM | #4 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
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If she can't look out for her own wellbeing, she'll eventually be eaten by a large carnivore. That's how nature works.
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Posts: 141,881
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6 0 |
02-13-2021, 05:19 PM | #5 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: nemo
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Lights were off, huh?
sec |
Posts: 13,410
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02-13-2021, 05:33 PM | #6 |
error 404
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Bizarro World
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Posts: 3,985
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3 0 |
02-13-2021, 05:37 PM | #7 |
It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Billings, Montana
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Posts: 69,841
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02-13-2021, 06:52 PM | #8 |
MVP
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: nemo
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Posts: 13,410
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1 0 |
02-13-2021, 05:51 PM | #9 |
pie is never free
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: the drivers seat
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Posts: 92,339
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02-13-2021, 05:17 PM | #10 |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
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you should put a live snake in there
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Posts: 279,970
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02-13-2021, 05:29 PM | #11 |
Live free or die hard
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Durango, CO
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Posts: 26,417
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02-13-2021, 05:31 PM | #12 |
MER
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Colorado
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We just don't like to think you guys are rude.
When you lift the lid and pee, you occasionally dribble and or splash on the exposed rim. When the lid gets lowered it comes in contact with the pee. When we go to lower the lid after you pee we get to touch your pee. It's bullshit. Sit like the rest of us. |
Posts: 22,996
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02-13-2021, 05:50 PM | #13 | |
Live free or die hard
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Durango, CO
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Quote:
The only times in life where my genital areas are exposed and I'm not paying attention to what's going on in the immediate area is sex and the doctor office. This flaw is a woman flaw. |
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02-13-2021, 05:53 PM | #14 | |
MER
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Colorado
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Quote:
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Posts: 22,996
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02-13-2021, 06:09 PM | #15 | |
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Sioux City, IA
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Quote:
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Posts: 34,398
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