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Megatron96 · 04-07-2020, 05:59 PM

As we enter yet another week of the American Pandemic or whatever, I thought we could lighten things up a little, so without further ado, a few zingers . . .

"Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Home-schooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to ‘’Puerto Backyarda’’. I'm getting tired of ‘’Los Livingroom’’.

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under…."

04-07-2020, 05:59 PM	Topic Starter
Megatron96 Suupraa Geniuuusss Megatron96's Avatar Join Date: Jan 2019 Location: Phoenix, AZ	Corona humor As we enter yet another week of the American Pandemic or whatever, I thought we could lighten things up a little, so without further ado, a few zingers . . . "Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. Home-schooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job. I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot. So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them? Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet. Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat. I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear? I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to ‘’Puerto Backyarda’’. I'm getting tired of ‘’Los Livingroom’’. Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun. Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended. Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under…."
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