Women and Toilet Seats

[Otter]

Last night around 3:30am MST I wake up to a sound that I assumed someone was assaulting my wife in our bathroom It was so rowdy and roaring that even my loyal canine friend jumped up on the bed and pulled me off by my subtle, yet boldly anatomy defining boxer briefs to alert me that there's something awry in the otter abode.

Burgler? Nope.
Natural disaster? Nope.
Alien invasion? Nope

I forgot to put the toilet seat down and love of my life, the twinkle of my eye, the woman I want to be buried with (especially if I die first) went bare ass first into cold toilet water.

Grew up in a house with 4 men; My father, myself, and two brothers and and I sit down to take a dump at lease once a day and in my 40 years taking these movements I've never, not once, went ass first into toilet water.

I assume the toilet is up much like I assume the roads are going to be slick if it was snowing or if I reach for an horderve which has a flame underneath it's going to be hot.

If I forget to put the toilet seat down and you forget to check after 7 years the best answer I can come up with is "You can argue which one of us is more stupid" and I will not agree with you.

/EndMarriedLifeRant

Oh, and welcome to the post season!!!

[Easy 6]

Originally Posted by sd4chiefs

Get on of these.

Boom

Marriage saved

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by Otter

Men don't sit to pee for the same reason women don't ask for the check after dinner - simply don't have to.

The only times in life where my genital areas are exposed and I'm not paying attention to what's going on in the immediate area is sex and the doctor office. This flaw is a woman flaw.

If you're paying for all my food, I guess that's ok.

[scho63]

I just bought a new toilet yesterday. A one piece dual flush elongated Glacier Bay from Home Depot. My current one is like trying to crap in a coffee can. Small round and a ball crusher.
Excited for my new one!

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by Katipan

We just don't like to think you guys are rude.

When you lift the lid and pee, you occasionally dribble and or splash on the exposed rim.

When the lid gets lowered it comes in contact with the pee.

When we go to lower the lid after you pee we get to touch your pee.

It's bullshit.

Sit like the rest of us.

We'll just leave it down then

[lawrenceRaider]

Originally Posted by Katipan

We just don't like to think you guys are rude.

When you lift the lid and pee, you occasionally dribble and or splash on the exposed rim.

When the lid gets lowered it comes in contact with the pee.

When we go to lower the lid after you pee we get to touch your pee.

It's bullshit.

Sit like the rest of us.

If you could pee while standing, 100% you would.

[Donger]

Originally Posted by lawrenceRaider

If you could pee while standing, 100% you would.

They can, it's just messy.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by lawrenceRaider

If you could pee while standing, 100% you would.

Like as an optional upgrade sure.

But half the time I don't even know I have to poop until I'm sitting down. It's also our secret to why girls don't fart as much rankness as you.

We're doing you a solid. Maybe you should think about that the next time you're helicopter peeing in a bathroom.

[stevieray]

wait a minute, she forgot to leave it up for you when she was finished?

all's fair in love and pee.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Ha Ha neat idea, if you can talk the old hide into cleaning it.

Wife got one for my bathroom but bitches about having to change the batteries
sec

[morphius]

I always close both the lid and seat...

Sent from my motorola one action using Tapatalk

[seclark]

Originally Posted by morphius

I always close both the lid and seat...

Sent from my motorola one action using Tapatalk

Man,I’d get up in the middle of the night and piss all over your bathroom
sec

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by Katipan

Like as an optional upgrade sure.

But half the time I don't even know I have to poop until I'm sitting down. It's also our secret to why girls don't fart as much rankness as you.

We're doing you a solid. Maybe you should think about that the next time you're helicopter peeing in a bathroom.

Well that's a myth. I use to be a route driver and put air fresheners in bathrooms. Guess whose bathrooms stunk the worst ? Girls bathrooms were horrific compared to guys bathrooms 9 times out of 10.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by Rasputin

Well that's a myth. I use to be a route driver and put air fresheners in bathrooms. Guess whose bathrooms stunk the worst ? Girls bathrooms were horrific compared to guys bathrooms 9 times out of 10.

Because of sanitary products in trash cans.
Not farting.

Although do not google “why does my vagina smell like buttered popcorn?”

[Johnny Vegas]

Originally Posted by scho63

I just bought a new toilet yesterday. A one piece dual flush elongated Glacier Bay from Home Depot. My current one is like trying to crap in a coffee can. Small round and a ball crusher.
Excited for my new one!

When I bought my house last year it came with the shortest toilet not elongated. Threw my back out taking a wall down and jackhammering concrete and could barely sit on it let alone get off of it. New toilet is nice. Just took a couple weeks to get used to the seat.

[Hydrae]

This is simple. Men lift and lower the lid and the seat when they piss. Women lift and lower just the lid when they piss. Either way, when ANYONE is done using the toilet the seat and lid should be closed. And they should expect to lift some portion of the liftable apparatus when using the toilet.