|
02-17-2017, 09:19 AM | #766 | |
You gotta kill a few people
Join Date: Sep 2007
|
Quote:
|
|
Posts: 44,559
|
02-17-2017, 03:32 PM | #767 |
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2004
|
Rodney King?
|
Posts: 1,999
|
02-17-2017, 05:26 PM | #768 |
Space Cadet and Aczabel
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Kanab, UT, USA
|
|
Posts: 40,584
|
02-17-2017, 05:30 PM | #769 |
Baba Ganoush
Join Date: Jan 2012
|
Why didn't Anne Frank finish her diary?
Spoiler!
|
Posts: 29,383
|
02-18-2017, 03:15 PM | #770 |
Banned
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Pueblo,CO
|
Hey All, new member here...
So, I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, "I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."Then I said, "turn Left." |
Posts: 2,315
|
02-20-2017, 01:48 AM | #771 |
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
|
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared, what would be the most difficult thing to explain about life today? One answer: “I possess a device in my pocket that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get into arguments with strangers.”
|
Posts: 4,848
|
02-20-2017, 10:04 AM | #772 |
You gotta kill a few people
Join Date: Sep 2007
|
|
Posts: 44,559
|
02-21-2017, 08:52 AM | #773 |
Superior Breeding
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Boston
|
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
|
Posts: 347
|
02-21-2017, 11:56 AM | #774 |
Politically Incorrect
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
|
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
The don’t meet the koalafications. |
Posts: 50,869
|
02-21-2017, 11:56 AM | #775 |
Politically Incorrect
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
|
Why dont blind people skydive?
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs. |
Posts: 50,869
|
02-21-2017, 08:32 PM | #776 |
My Mamma Says
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Glass Cage Of Emotion
|
Did you hear about the new Pirate movie???
It's rated Arrrrrrrr!!!! |
Posts: 13,972
|
02-21-2017, 08:44 PM | #777 |
sorta mod-ish
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: KC North
|
|
Posts: 101,203
|
02-21-2017, 08:48 PM | #778 |
Supporter
Join Date: Aug 2000
|
|
Posts: 95,642
|
02-21-2017, 08:52 PM | #779 |
sorta mod-ish
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: KC North
|
|
Posts: 101,203
|
02-21-2017, 09:11 PM | #780 |
Replaced by a future HOFer !!
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: donkey land
|
There were 2 wealthy brothers who owned pretty much all of a small town.
Problem was that most of their wealth was ill-gotten dishonest gain from all the townspeople. To say the least they were not liked at all. One day one of the brothers die. The other living brother sets up the funeral process and goes to the only church in town and say's to the pastor, "Look, you know my brother and I were not above board and illegally ripped off this town and we hardly attended your church. But I need you to say in my brother's eulogy that he was a saint ! The pastor refused but the brother kept insisting and then threw the pastor a potential bone by telling him that he noticed that his church was raising $ for the church building fund and he would provide the rest of the $$ what was needed for their goal IF only the pastor would say that his brother was a saint. The pastor thought about it a long time and then said Okay !! The day of the funeral arrives and the pastor begins the eulogy and does just the opposite of what he agreed with the brother telling the whole town how this deceased brother was so corrupt, adulterous, mentioning every transgression and sin this deceased brother committed in his life. The living brother was just taken back and couldn't believe what the pastor was doing and began motioning to the pastor off to the side, to cut it off !! The pastor did and ended with this last statement. "But compared to his living brother this guy was a saint !!! |
Posts: 27,012
|
|
|