For those with children: Do you think you’re a better parent than your parents were?

[WilliamTheIrish]

Virus, I want to thank you for posting this thread. We've had some similar threads previously on this site. But this one struck a particular chord with me.

Perhaps it's me becoming a sentimental old guy, but I'm inspired to read what some of the folks here have overcome, to become better than the folks who brought them into the world.

And it's been rather cathartic to read these stories. Real humanity.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish

Virus, I want to thank you for posting this thread. We've had some similar threads previously on this site. But this one struck a particular chord with me.

Perhaps it's me becoming a sentimental old guy, but I'm inspired to read what some of the folks here have overcome, to become better than the folks who brought them into the world.

And it's been rather cathartic to read these stories. Real humanity.

Thank you but I can’t really take credit. My current life situation has me thinking about this pretty much every day lately.

I do agree, though. We are learning a lot about our bros in the CP community here.

I mean, it is terrible what some of us have had to go through. Nice to have a place to vent about it at the very least.

[scho63]

Considering how today's youth acts, I'm saying a big fat NO.

Considering how today's parents think, I would say they believe a big fat YES.

[Fish]

Oh yeah. Unfortunately, it wouldn't take much. Father was very distant. My mother was pregnant with me at 19. They had no business getting married and raising kids. Divorced when I was 5 or 6. Didn't see my father for the next ~6 years. Moved around a lot. Went to 5 different schools before high school. Made it tough to maintain friendships. Mom had anorexia, and very self conscious. Needlessly starved herself, which resulted in my sister and I not getting much to eat.

Abusive step father entered the picture for a while. Had 2 more half sisters. Step father and step father's family would treat me like garbage, and spoil my half sisters. Stuff like them getting 10 birthday/Christmas presents and other sister and I would get 1. Fortunately, my dad finally reentered my life when I started high school, but it was still very distant. My mother was still very angry at my father, and tried to turn me and my sister against him. She went to the school and demanded that they start referring to me by my shitty step father's last name, against my wishes. Shitty small town school did so and changed my last name on official school stuff. Which ****ed me up. Father and step father eventually got into a fist fight in front of us kids. Some rough years for me, and there are large stretches of high school that I've simply repressed and don't really remember well.

My mother finally left him after the abuse got physical all the time. Went through the rest of high school with broke single mom supporting 4 kids. Step father was a farmer, and put everything in his parents name so he had no income and wouldn't have to pay child support.

Dad and I still stay in touch, but he practically never initiates any contact. I'm still close with my mom, but she's a mess barely living paycheck to paycheck. Expecting to have to support her once she's too old to work anymore.

It look me a long time to figure life out for myself and get my shit together. Lots of mistakes along the way. But one thing I promised myself was to give my child better. I can confidently say I've done that. Even though it didn't work out with her mother, we've always maintained a healthy relationship between the 3 of us. We never used our child to fight with one another. Never talked negatively of the other. We worked hard at all the things my own parents failed at. Hasn't been perfect, but my daughter is in such a better place mentally and emotionally than I was at her age. It's very obvious.

[Stryker]

I think the wife and I did well with our kids - I am very proud of them and the wonderful grand children they spawned. However, my parents, whom have both passed, were exceptional parents. I could never ask for better parents and it is like brother said, they made us who we are today. I served my country, I have a college education and I work for an incredible hospital. So, no, they were better parents then we are but, only because they were my parents - I cannot rank higher than them because they MADE me who I am today. I know that they are very, very proud though of both my brother and I.

[Katipan]

Having lived both lives, I prefer my babies in small town Iowa.