You Ever Hurt or Injure Yourself in Weird Way?

[GabyKeepsMeWarm]

Doesn’t have to be spectacular…. Looking more for just odd, random happenstance kind of stuff here.

Right at Christmas, I was walking down one flight of stairs in my house down to the next, and my feet just slipped out from under me as I was going down that second flight. My left leg bent back under, and it all happened so fast I was honestly afraid to look down after I managed to unravel myself, figuring for sure that I had just broken my leg in the dumbest way ever. I was truly afraid to even look down. But there was my leg. Not disfigured or distorted, but holy shit, I could barely put any weight on it.

Maybe the worst part of this, is I had just got back home from scoring some tacos. Maybe I was too excited about tacos? I dunno….

But man, I was ****ed up. Lost my appetite. Tacos went in the fridge, I took a shit load of ibuprofen and went to bed.

Tacos of course were pretty crummy the next day, and it was a sad meal as I limped around the house. Found an old cane and actually had to use that ****er for two weeks. Felt like a character out of a Dickens novel.

It’s been a few weeks, I’ve still got a limp, stairs aren’t great, but I’m pretty sure I’m okay. Likely a sprained ankle, sprained/stretched MCL, but nothing more.

Did get me thinking though…. How do these football players do it? Seriously. Just throwing themselves into violence and often awkward moves when just one little thing can make something “pop”. I only played two years of high school football before getting my bell rung, and that was enough for me.

Anyway…. Curious to hear about weirdo dipshit injuries from you. Did you break your back sliding on ice while clearing your driveway? Stub your toe and end up in traction? Hop down a step a tear your calf? Share away!

[TinyEvel]

When I was 8 we were riding our bikes in this neighborhood park that is basically a 10story tall hill/mound of earth with a park at the top of it.

We were going down a grass hill on the backside. The perimeter of the park was cinderblock walls that lined the backyards of the homes on the other side.

My buddy had a schwinn-type 3-speed like a Krate bike. He came barreling down the hill seemed like a rocket.

I said "can I try your bike?"

I started down the hill and was flying.

That's when I learned his brakes were disconnected. Nothing when you squeezed the levers.

The cinderblock was was coming up fast.

I was only 8, so my common-sense knowledge of physics had not yet developed. I figured the front tire would let me just "bounce" off the wall.

I hit it straight on maybe going 20mph. I went over the handlebars and the wall stopped my momentum with my face.

Split my eyebrow clean open and scraped half my face to bleeding.

all my friend could do was cry and cuss because the bike forks were bent so far back the wheel would not go straight because it was hitting the frame. He said his dad was going to kill him.

Dick.

[Tnerped]

Was ~11 and kicking a ball inside the house. Had my foot resting on it while I was watching a football game and not really paying attention. Well the ball slips out from from underneath me and I end up in a crumpled heap on the ground. Didn't tear anything luckily, but I couldn't wear a shoe on that foot for a few weeks.

Last year I was leaving for work while it was still pitch black out. I close the front door and walk down my front steps (only 3), but I miss the bottom two, land on the side of my ankle, and fall face first onto the ground. So lucky I missed rocks and cement because of my height, but damn did I scream bloody murder and just lay there embarrassed as ****.

40 years and I've been lucky enough not to do any serious damage to my body, including broken bones.

[kc rush]

When my youngest was between 1 and 2 years old, we had him in a playpen in our front room. I came into the room and he started laughing, so I decided to entertain him by running in and out of the room while making silly sounds. He was having a ball, and I was too until I rolled my toe under my foot as I was running back into the room. Broke it.

I was also at a water park and was helping my (same) son, now 4, down a kiddie water slide. My feet slipped out from under me and I landed on my tailbone. Broke that too.

Other broken bones were from stupid and/or angry decisions, but the two above were weird.

I've also ripped the front of my toe off shooting out of a water slide at Great Wolf. After my tailbone, toe and one other injury at Great Wolf, I decided water parks weren't for me. I haven't been to one in 15 years.

[KCBlitz]

I had bad leg cramps one time while having sex. Proud to say I powered through it and she was very appreciative.

[KCUnited]

Originally Posted by KCBlitz

I had bad leg cramps one time while having sex. Proud to say I powered through it and she was very appreciative.

I shattered my right kneecap and tore every ligament in it when I was 20 and had 2 major surgeries that stretched the skin over my knee super thin combined with scar tissue

I had an 8 year running strawberry on that knee in various stages of healing from sex after than. The slightest of friction on any surface would reopen it but no regrats

[TinyEvel]

The day after I turned 55 I fell on the garage stairs.

It was only two steps but I twisted my ankle.

I was like F--- already? I turn 55 and the next day I fall down.

[kc rush]

One more.

When I was in college, I worked night stock at a grocery store over a couple of summer breaks.

One night I'm restocking the cereal aisle and my box knife had gotten dull from opening so many cases, so I changed the blade. Now, I had powered through the last few cases and wasn't thinking about the effort needed with a new blade. I pulled on the knife like I had been and it zipped through the case top, through my jeans and into my leg.

I went into the bathroom to try and bandage it up, but it wouldn't hold. Had to go to the hospital for a few stitches. Of course, that was the night of the fourth of July, so I'm sitting in the emergency room with a bunch of people who tried to blow themselves up.

[Easy 6]

Once injured my back playing basketball on an ice skating rink

One morning back in 93-94 the order came down post wide, that it was too cold for outdoor PT in Ft Wainwright AK... everyone could either do it in the barracks hallways or go to our brand new five million dollar gym

By the time my unit got to the gym all the good spots were occupied, so we had to go into the huge 6 hoop basketball court that was, at the time, instead being used as a hockey rink so the basketball floor wasn't in place

Long story short, I drove for a layup and landed straight on my back jacking it up but GOOD... the silver lining is I got to sit at home on profile the next two weeks dropping valiums into bottles of Miller Genuine Draft

[Icon]

I used to be a gentleman farmer living on 40 acres mixed pasture and woods with a 5-acre pond. To tend my vast lands I purchased a 1952 Ford 8N tractor. I used it principally to mow and maintain our 1/4 mile access road. One spring morning I decided to fire up the tractor and tend to business. The tractor started right up but shortly thereafter I felt a sharp stinging on my ass; over and over. It turns out some wasps decided to build a nest in the cushion I used to comfort my ass. I stood up quickly and jumped off the tractor to identify the source of my pain. Unfortunately I had left the tractor in gear and the tractor proceeded to slowly go for a ride in first gear. The tractor split between two pear trees, moved across our lawn and made a beeline for my pond which was not optimal. I was running along the tractor hoping against hope the tractor would turn away from the pond. Alas, no joy. Being the fine athlete I am, I decided to jump on the tractor to stop its progress. Unfortunately, while my jump was fine my footing was wet and I slipped and was run the **** over. My tumble resulted in a couple of broken ribs, some kickass bruises and a story I told no one for years out of embarrassment.

[KCBlitz]

Originally Posted by KCUnited

I shattered my right kneecap and tore every ligament in it when I was 20 and had 2 major surgeries that stretched the skin over my knee super thin combined with scar tissue

I had an 8 year running strawberry on that knee in various stages of healing from sex after than. The slightest of friction on any surface would reopen it but no regrats

It’s not a contest…but you win. lol

[FloridaMan88]

Fell asleep outside on an uncovered porch in a mosquito-infested area... woke up in a hospital bed on a Benadryl IV drip, covered with hundreds of mosquito bites.

FUN.

[Easy 6]

Originally Posted by KCUnited

I shattered my right kneecap and tore every ligament in it when I was 20 and had 2 major surgeries that stretched the skin over my knee super thin combined with scar tissue

I had an 8 year running strawberry on that knee in various stages of healing from sex after than. The slightest of friction on any surface would reopen it but no regrats

Bro do you have the brittle bone thing?

Between this thing, and the metal neck brace ordeal you had to endure... damn dude you have suffered horribly in life, but there is an obvious resilience in you

[stumppy]

Sprained my right ankle pretty bad, two days later sprained my left ankle even worse. It took a week or so before I could put any weight on either one without significant pain.

Using crutches to get to the bathroom was pure hell.

[Womble]

When I was 14 I injured someone in a weird way. Well, when I say injured I mean put him in hospital with a brain bleed and according to the police officer who arrested me he was in a medically induced coma. All I'll say is If you're going to attack someone with a fat head (after threatening to burn their house down), it's probably best that you avoid headbutting them as hard as you can on their forehead. I told the cops exactly where it happened and there was a CCTV camera pointing right at the place he attacked me. Got dearrested and to this day I have no idea what happened to the prick. He could well be a vegetable now but that might not have anything to do with the incident.

[KCUnited]

Originally Posted by Easy 6

Bro do you have the brittle bone thing?

Between this thing, and the metal neck brace ordeal you had to endure... damn dude you have suffered horribly in life, but there is an obvious resilience in you

Most of it was just YOLO when I was young, the neck was a complete freak accident

More stubbornness than resilience as well