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convict1983 · 06-25-2007, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaFace

This thread is a compilation of three threads which were all started by the same person. They were merged into one thread since the person is probably not worthy of having three separate threads in the hall. The original thread begins here, and the links below will "jump" to the first posts in the second and third threads.

I stole a sweet laptop today

So I was in Paradise Cafe today for lunch and it was jam packed. There was this guy that was sitting in a booth all by his lonesome and had a sweet lookin laptop. The dude gets a call on his cell phone and decides to take the call outside. I was perplexed because he just left his laptop all by itself. So, its now been 15 minutes and the guy is STILL outside on the phone!

I thought to myself that I really needed a new laptop and this one was there for the taking. Well, there were no cameras in there and it was so busy that no one would notice so I went up to it casually and folded it up and exited the opposite door from him. Like taking candy from a baby.

And I dont feel too bad because the guy didnt have any business or work related stuff on there, just a couple of photo albums. Hey, if he is too stupid to leave his laptop alone for more than 15 minutes then he deserved it.

Redrum_69 · 06-24-2008, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatsmynameagain

im driving your moms hole as I type this, prolly start pissing on her soon. be a good little boy and get her a towel.

Posted via Mobile Device

your mom is like a dead end road...her crevices cant be filled even by the highway workers, no one cares about her enough to maintain her and you can tell she hasnt been ridden on in years, and now all she does is lay there waiting for anyone to pass by and dump their load on her.

Fairplay · 06-24-2008, 09:52 AM

I should have opened this thread earlier. This is a good one.

**Bowser** · 06-24-2008, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redrum_69

your mom is like a dead end road...her crevices cant be filled even by the highway workers, no one cares about her enough to maintain her and you can tell she hasnt been ridden on in years, and now all she does is lay there waiting for anyone to pass by and dump their load on her.

**Easy 6** · 06-24-2008, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatsmynameagain

im driving your moms hole as I type this, prolly start pissing on her soon. be a good little boy and get her a towel.

Posted via Mobile Device

You are one sorry little fuckstick.

damaticous · 06-24-2008, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnight_Vulture

Huh? All I was doing was speeding. I wasnt smuggling narcotics or anything sheesh.

And for the record, I am a damn good rider and have been in several competitions in the past too. I also have a clear record of ZERO crashes and ZERO injuries.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

You may be a good rider, but from my understanding it's not a question of IF you are going to crash your bike, but WHEN.

My opinion...go ahead keep speeding, but if you crash your bike into one of my family members and hurt them, or let them see your dieing rotting corpse that will haunt them for the rest of their lives...I would have to sue the shit out of you, your family, your Insurance and anyone else I could think of for all the therapist bills I would have to pay.

If you want to drive that fast fine, but please do it where there is no one else around so you won't hurt anyone but yourself.

If you are in that much of a hurry...wake up earlier.

Thank you,

Damaticous and family.

**Donger** · 06-24-2008, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by damaticous

You may be a good rider, but from my understanding it's not a question of IF you are going to crash your bike, but WHEN.

My opinion...go ahead keep speeding, but if you crash your bike into one of my family members and hurt them, or let them see your dieing rotting corpse that will haunt them for the rest of their lives...I would have to sue the shit out of you, your family, your Insurance and anyone else I could think of for all the therapist bills I would have to pay.

If you want to drive that fast fine, but please do it where there is no one else around so you won't hurt anyone but yourself.

If you are in that much of a hurry...wake up earlier.

Thank you,

Damaticous and family.

I don't think you understand. He's a loner. A rebel.

You know, hanging with all the other loners and rebels, doing the same idiot things.

**Bwana** · 06-24-2008, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatsmynameagain

its his choice just like its mine to go out and drive after getting tanked. I don't care about anyone on the road.

Braincase · 06-24-2008, 09:58 AM

1. Adrenalin junkies die.
2. The only safe place to go 100 mph is on a sanctioned strip or track.
3. If you don't care what we think, why did you post it here?
4. Did you swipe a sweet laptop this past year?

One other thing... it really bothers me that you called a police officer that stopped you a pig. He was doing his job, enforcing the law, and looking out for public safety as well as your own. He puts his life on the line to protect people every day, and you have the nerve to deride him for doing his duty? You're a stoopfawk, and when you hit sand on a turn doing 80 and you slam your helmetless cranium against concrete, be sure to post pictures.

acesn8s · 06-24-2008, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red

There is nothing wrong w/ masturbation, I encourage it. It takes a real man to admit he `jacks.`

I thought it took a real man to be able to "jack"

Hammock Parties · 06-24-2008, 10:00 AM

Imagine, stealing a $1500 laptop and hopping onto your getaway crotch rocket and zipping away at 130 mph...the rush would be incredible.

kstater · 06-24-2008, 10:02 AM

Yeah, I'm saying this is a dup account from someone who's bored.

acesn8s · 06-24-2008, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnight_Vulture

I can get girls without my bike but having it doesnt hurt. When I take them home with me and ask me where is my car, I tell them I have a bike instead . Their eyes immediately light up in excitement.

For the record I also have an Audi but its not as much fun to drive.

is this your girlfriend?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgqHPEgkhy0

**QuikSsurfer** · 06-24-2008, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnight_Vulture

Well, it finally happened. I usually speed on my bike almost everyday and it finally caught up to me. I got a ticket from this stupid pig.

I guess going 100+ without a helmet is againist the law or something LOL.

I just cant help it though. Once you get on those things you want to soar like a bird its not even funny.

**BigRedChief** · 06-24-2008, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

One little bump at the wrong time at speeds like that, and you're street pizza.

Not to mention maybe taking out some innocent bystanders.

siberian khatru · 06-24-2008, 10:25 AM

I didn't realize people still called cops "pigs." What is this, 1968?

06-24-2008, 09:52 AM	#782
Fairplay A certain set of skills Fairplay's Avatar Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: texas	I should have opened this thread earlier. This is a good one.
Posts: 25,265

06-24-2008, 09:58 AM	#788
Braincase Banned Braincase's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Pond> Me <Barn	1. Adrenalin junkies die. 2. The only safe place to go 100 mph is on a sanctioned strip or track. 3. If you don't care what we think, why did you post it here? 4. Did you swipe a sweet laptop this past year? One other thing... it really bothers me that you called a police officer that stopped you a pig. He was doing his job, enforcing the law, and looking out for public safety as well as your own. He puts his life on the line to protect people every day, and you have the nerve to deride him for doing his duty? You're a stoopfawk, and when you hit sand on a turn doing 80 and you slam your helmetless cranium against concrete, be sure to post pictures. Last edited by Braincase; 06-24-2008 at 10:06 AM..
Posts: 15,429

06-24-2008, 10:00 AM	#790
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Hammock Parties's Avatar Join Date: Nov 2002	Imagine, stealing a $1500 laptop and hopping onto your getaway crotch rocket and zipping away at 130 mph...the rush would be incredible.
Posts: 288,256

06-24-2008, 10:02 AM	#791
kstater Custom User Title kstater's Avatar Join Date: Jan 2007	Yeah, I'm saying this is a dup account from someone who's bored.
Posts: 39,714

06-24-2008, 10:25 AM	#795
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan siberian khatru's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium	I didn't realize people still called cops "pigs." What is this, 1968?
Posts: 70,373