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Clint in Wichita · 01-23-2006, 11:07 AM

Is online flirting, when you know your S.O. disapproves, OK because you "are only flirting online and not in the real world"?

My opinion (surprise, surprise) is that it's not OK, period. It's said to be OK because it's not face-to-face, and online it's just fun and games.

I call bullshit. People meet online friends in person all the time. They even meet their future spouses online. The "it's only online" argument is bogus.

I would also imagine that many of those who feel it's OK would be less than eager to have their own S.O.s discover their activity.

Thoughts?

**mlyonsd** · 01-23-2006, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)

IMO that's the first and best question to figuring out if you've gone too far.

Clint in Wichita · 01-23-2006, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I only participate in football message boards and poker sites. I always assume its a dude on the other end, unless I know better.

I made a rule with my wife before we hitched that when I wasn't around, she should simply ask herself.."If Iowanian were watching or listening right now, would he be pissed off?" If the answer is yes, don't do it.

I do my best to follow the same rule.

I think my limit would be the following.
1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)
2. Is it in the public forum?
If it were in Email or PM form....Heads would roll for sure.

I trust my bride and she has no reason not to trust me, so its not a problem.

But I'm an asshole.

I concur, word-for-word.

Simply Red · 01-23-2006, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I only participate in football message boards and poker sites. I always assume its a dude on the other end, unless I know better.

I made a rule with my wife before we hitched that when I wasn't around, she should simply ask herself.."If Iowanian were watching or listening right now, would he be pissed off?" If the answer is yes, don't do it.

I do my best to follow the same rule.

I think my limit would be the following.
1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)
2. Is it in the public forum?
If it were in Email or PM form....Heads would roll for sure.

I trust my bride and she has no reason not to trust me, so its not a problem.

But I'm an asshole.

Katipan · 01-23-2006, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clint in Wichita

Keep in mind that "flirting" can cover an awful lot of territory...especially online. I'm not just talking about a giggle or a wink.

Of course, some people feel nothing is wrong until bodily fluids are exchanged.

Eh. It's nothing against how anyone else feels. I adore Iowanni and I think his philosophy is nuts too. But since I don't get to date him, I'll just have to accept that it works for his relationship.

There are more than a couple flirty PMs in my box. But I wouldn't hide a damn one of them from my guy.

Clint in Wichita · 01-23-2006, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCTitus

Does 'flirting' also include unwarranted positive 'rep'?

I really need a ruling on this one.

That all depends on the message that accompanies the rep.

If the rep was only sent so as to type out a "secret message" to the recpient, then you may have flirting going on!

Simply Red · 01-23-2006, 11:26 AM

Asshole? No. You aren't an Asshole. You are just insecure and don't like yourself. You wish you were an Asshole.

BIG_DADDY · 01-23-2006, 11:27 AM

Clint,

Insecurity is unattractive, just thought you would like to know. The level of attraction your women feels for you is what makes her want to stay with you. How does it feel going through life with a big red insecurity button on your chest that everyone knows is there and can push to make you go off anytime they want? What's even more ridiculous is were talking about a guy who's woman brings other women home to him.

**Skip Towne** · 01-23-2006, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I only participate in football message boards and poker sites. I always assume its a dude on the other end, unless I know better.

I made a rule with my wife before we hitched that when I wasn't around, she should simply ask herself.."If Iowanian were watching or listening right now, would he be pissed off?" If the answer is yes, don't do it.

I do my best to follow the same rule.

I think my limit would be the following.
1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)
2. Is it in the public forum?
If it were in Email or PM form....Heads would roll for sure.

I trust my bride and she has no reason not to trust me, so its not a problem.

But I'm an asshole.

So why are you always flirting with Chiefs4me then?

RedNFeisty · 01-23-2006, 11:29 AM

What have I done wrong now!?!

I proclaim my innocence!!

**Iowanian** · 01-23-2006, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mer

Eh. It's nothing against how anyone else feels. I adore Iowanni and I think his philosophy is nuts too. But since I don't get to date him, I'll just have to accept that it works for his relationship.

There are more than a couple flirty PMs in my box. But I wouldn't hide a damn one of them from my guy.

Lets clarify something specifically.
I'm very confident in my relationship and the job I do at home. I have no reason to be jealous of anything my wife does. Initially, I didn't like it that she was still friendly with a former long term boyfriend, but once I met the guy, I could care less if they talk on the phone twice a year, or if she wants to have a drink with him and other friends at their class reunion that I hope to dodge again.

For the most part....I'm the one dinking around online, and if she is, its asking other hens about home remedies for infant constipation.

Under other circumstances, with another woman, with other morals and scruples than the one I chose to be with.....my story might go a little different.

I trust her, and I'd let her read anything here or in my email she wanted. She doesn't ask, because she trusts me, but she could.

Clint in Wichita · 01-23-2006, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

Clint,

Insecurity is unattractive, just thought you would like to know. The level of attraction your women feels for you is what makes her want to stay with you. How does it feel going through life with a big red insecurity button on your chest that everyone knows is there and can push to make you go off anytime they want? What's even more ridiculous is were talking about a guy who's woman brings other women home to him.

What makes you so sure I posted this for personal reasons?

As for the last sentence, don't believe everything you read.

Eleazar · 01-23-2006, 11:34 AM

I think I would be angry about that. The question to me isn't, "is there anything wrong with it", it's "why do you feel the need to do that...?"

sedated · 01-23-2006, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

What's even more ridiculous is were talking about a guy who's woman brings other women home to him.

kinda like feeding jabba the hut?

She opens the door and lets the unsuspecting woman in, flicks on the lights, gives her a push, and shuts the door.

the screams echo through the halls of the housing project, then are silenced...

patteeu · 01-23-2006, 11:44 AM

I think at some point it goes over the line, but I'd have a hard time defining where that is any better than Iowanian's if-my-SO-reads-it-will-he/she-care rule, so I'll go with that. The specific answer to the question you really want to ask is "hell yes it's wrong and you should give R&F a severe spanking when she gets home tonight."

**Iowanian** · 01-23-2006, 11:46 AM

I think there are different levels.

"hey fine thing, your type'n is teh sexaaaaaaah.....what do you think Pitt is going to do to stop the Denver Roll out?"...is fine with me.

out in the open, with a little comment here or there isn't any big deal to me, but an email with personal info or a detailed blow by blow of what you're gonna do? Yeah.

If I send some broad a PM telling her that I'd like to speed read the chinese alphabet in tongue-brail on her pearl, my wife should be pissed at me.

01-23-2006, 11:07 AM
Clint in Wichita Veteran Clint in Wichita's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000	Online flirting Is online flirting, when you know your S.O. disapproves, OK because you "are only flirting online and not in the real world"? My opinion (surprise, surprise) is that it's not OK, period. It's said to be OK because it's not face-to-face, and online it's just fun and games. I call bullshit. People meet online friends in person all the time. They even meet their future spouses online. The "it's only online" argument is bogus. I would also imagine that many of those who feel it's OK would be less than eager to have their own S.O.s discover their activity. Thoughts? Last edited by Clint in Wichita; 01-23-2006 at 04:25 PM..
Posts: 4,458

01-23-2006, 11:26 AM	#21
Simply Red You Sweetie! Simply Red's Avatar Join Date: Sep 2005	Asshole? No. You aren't an Asshole. You are just insecure and don't like yourself. You wish you were an Asshole.
Posts: 71,691

01-23-2006, 11:27 AM	#22
BIG_DADDY THE RED MENACE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texas	Clint, Insecurity is unattractive, just thought you would like to know. The level of attraction your women feels for you is what makes her want to stay with you. How does it feel going through life with a big red insecurity button on your chest that everyone knows is there and can push to make you go off anytime they want? What's even more ridiculous is were talking about a guy who's woman brings other women home to him.
Posts: 32,458

01-23-2006, 11:29 AM	#24
RedNFeisty Smokin RedNFeisty's Avatar Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wichita	What have I done wrong now!?! I proclaim my innocence!!
Posts: 8,393

01-23-2006, 11:34 AM	#27
Eleazar Beyond the Rapids Eleazar's Avatar Join Date: May 2003 Location: Langley, VA	I think I would be angry about that. The question to me isn't, "is there anything wrong with it", it's "why do you feel the need to do that...?"
Posts: 80,659

01-23-2006, 11:44 AM	#29
patteeu The 23rd Pillar patteeu's Avatar Join Date: Sep 2002	I think at some point it goes over the line, but I'd have a hard time defining where that is any better than Iowanian's if-my-SO-reads-it-will-he/she-care rule, so I'll go with that. The specific answer to the question you really want to ask is "hell yes it's wrong and you should give R&F a severe spanking when she gets home tonight."
Posts: 110,871

01-23-2006, 11:46 AM	#30
Iowanian Supporter Iowanian's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia	The Line. I think there are different levels. "hey fine thing, your type'n is teh sexaaaaaaah.....what do you think Pitt is going to do to stop the Denver Roll out?"...is fine with me. out in the open, with a little comment here or there isn't any big deal to me, but an email with personal info or a detailed blow by blow of what you're gonna do? Yeah. If I send some broad a PM telling her that I'd like to speed read the chinese alphabet in tongue-brail on her pearl, my wife should be pissed at me.
Posts: 62,277