When do you have a "talk" with your child's Coach?

[petegz28]

So my Son is 8 years old and playing in competitive soccer. I will be the first to admit that on his team of 9 he probably ranks 6th or 7th. Maybe 5th on a good day. He is disciplined, works hard, knows his game but is just one of the slower kids and not the strongest shooter. Usually plays Left or Right Back.

The Coach has had a tendency to play him less than the others and generally I am okay with that because at times he plays quite a bit. Then some things happened and I am not real sure how to approach it.

In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. My Son's Coach decided to play the "best players" into the ground and my Son got to play all of 10 minutes of a 50 minute game in a game that meant literally nothing. I was pissed but said nothing.

Then tonight at practice the Coach handed out MVP Pins to 5 of of the 8 kids that were there and one to a kid who was practicing with us but not on our team. He said they "tried hard" the last game. The irony is my Son played most of the last game and more than just about anyone else, and one of the kids that didn't get a pin had 2 goals. So the "they tried hard" crap doesn't seem to make sense.

I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1.

Our Coach is 22, and it's his first year coaching a team. I try to keep that in mind. I also have to keep in mind that if I piss him off he could plant my Son on the bench the rest of the season. Also with tryouts for next season coming up in a couple of weeks, I'd hate to do something to jeopardize my Son.

On the other hand, I see it as I am paying good $'s to play in this league and a dick move is a dick move.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

[TripleThreat]

Damn poor Pete. Some people really laid it on this man. In all honesty Pete clearly just loves his kid and wants to protect him, can’t fault the dad for being a dad. At least he posted his topic and continued to engage with a handful of posters and receive constructive feedback that was opposing his views.

Id like to think if chiefsplanet legitimately showered Pete with the notion to go and have this “talk” with the coach because it is well deserved… well, we’d probably be replying to a new thread by Pete titled “I talked to the coach and it went poorly part 2” thread. Glad you shared Pete and glad to see you were willing to legitimately hear others opinions and im sure it’s because you want to do right by your son and handle the situation like a responsible loving father should. I’m not sure if others missed this but you deserve credit Pete!

[Sorter]

Originally Posted by petegz28

So my Son is 8 years old and playing in competitive soccer. I will be the first to admit that on his team of 9 he probably ranks 6th or 7th. Maybe 5th on a good day. He is disciplined, works hard, knows his game but is just one of the slower kids and not the strongest shooter. Usually plays Left or Right Back.

The Coach has had a tendency to play him less than the others and generally I am okay with that because at times he plays quite a bit. Then some things happened and I am not real sure how to approach it.

In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. My Son's Coach decided to play the "best players" into the ground and my Son got to play all of 10 minutes of a 50 minute game in a game that meant literally nothing. I was pissed but said nothing.

Then tonight at practice the Coach handed out MVP Pins to 5 of of the 8 kids that were there and one to a kid who was practicing with us but not on our team. He said they "tried hard" the last game. The irony is my Son played most of the last game and more than just about anyone else, and one of the kids that didn't get a pin had 2 goals. So the "they tried hard" crap doesn't seem to make sense.

I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1.

Our Coach is 22, and it's his first year coaching a team. I try to keep that in mind. I also have to keep in mind that if I piss him off he could plant my Son on the bench the rest of the season. Also with tryouts for next season coming up in a couple of weeks, I'd hate to do something to jeopardize my Son.

On the other hand, I see it as I am paying good $'s to play in this league and a dick move is a dick move.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

I know nothing about soccer and am not going through this whole thread but these are my questions:

1. How many players start vs bench?
2. Is your bench/roster number high/low in comparison to other teams?
3. How competitive is your league (do they travel)?
4. What are the coaches credentials?
5. What are your credentials?

[petegz28]

Interesting turn of events to finish out the season. Our last league game my son played a ton but we only had 2 subs and it was very hot. I chalked it up to that a bit.

Then our last weekend was a tournament. Now, I don't know what the **** got into my son but in game #1 he came out and literally looked like a completely different player. Was just playing his ass off. We played up 3 kids so for that game we had 4 subs. My son, however, sat all of about 10 minutes of that game.

Ironically in that game I noticed the coach was not subbing much. Even to the point that I was starting to whisper to my wife that he isn't playing the bench much. The next day I found out that one of the parents was pissed, emailed the coach about it and that the coach never replied. My kid played Goal Keeper most of game #2 but then was pulled when we were up by 3 goals and finished the game in the field.

On day 3, a message went out that one of the players wasn't going to be at the game(s) that day. I cannot say for sure it was the kid of the pissed off parent but I am pretty sure it was. My kid actually continued on with his beast mode breakout, and in that game and the finals sat a total of 10 mins. Also was a key part of us not only getting to the finals but winning.

So, I guess my point is, as much as I was pissed at my son's coach and wanted to say something, all I did was tell my kid to work harder to get better. That paid off. The parent that complained, well, I can say that I completely understand where they were coming from but I am not sure he made the right move.

All in all, seems like this parent chose to do what I only contemplated doing and then chose to pull his kid out of the rest of the games. That's a lesson I would not want to teach my kid. Be pissed at the coach if you want too, but don't quit in the middle of things. But, perhaps the coach got the message he needed to get as well???

This little league soccer is serious shit and stuff!!!

[penguinz]

Originally Posted by petegz28

Let's assume no parents ever said anything to him. How is he going to get better?

I haven't said anything to him and it isn't about just my kid. But nonetheless if someone doesn't ever tell you that you're doing something wrong and you think you're doing things right, how do you ever get better?

But whatever. Point of the thread was to ask other parents when they have decided to say something to a coach.

If this is truly a competitive team with an actual club it is not even remotely close to being the parents job to criticize the coach. The club has team, technical and coaching directors that do this. He is their employee not yours.

You approaching him and critiquing him would be equivalent to you approaching a doctor at the hospital and telling him how to do his job. Means less than nothing from you but if from the Chief of Staff means a tremendous amount.

[Pitt Gorilla]

Originally Posted by petegz28

Interesting turn of events to finish out the season. Our last league game my son played a ton but we only had 2 subs and it was very hot. I chalked it up to that a bit.

Then our last weekend was a tournament. Now, I don't know what the **** got into my son but in game #1 he came out and literally looked like a completely different player. Was just playing his ass off. We played up 3 kids so for that game we had 4 subs. My son, however, sat all of about 10 minutes of that game.

Ironically in that game I noticed the coach was not subbing much. Even to the point that I was starting to whisper to my wife that he isn't playing the bench much. The next day I found out that one of the parents was pissed, emailed the coach about it and that the coach never replied. My kid played Goal Keeper most of game #2 but then was pulled when we were up by 3 goals and finished the game in the field.

On day 3, a message went out that one of the players wasn't going to be at the game(s) that day. I cannot say for sure it was the kid of the pissed off parent but I am pretty sure it was. My kid actually continued on with his beast mode breakout, and in that game and the finals sat a total of 10 mins. Also was a key part of us not only getting to the finals but winning.

So, I guess my point is, as much as I was pissed at my son's coach and wanted to say something, all I did was tell my kid to work harder to get better. That paid off. The parent that complained, well, I can say that I completely understand where they were coming from but I am not sure he made the right move.

All in all, seems like this parent chose to do what I only contemplated doing and then chose to pull his kid out of the rest of the games. That's a lesson I would not want to teach my kid. Be pissed at the coach if you want too, but don't quit in the middle of things. But, perhaps the coach got the message he needed to get as well???

This little league soccer is serious shit and stuff!!!

No ****ing ****? Who could have possibly known?

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by Pitt Gorilla

No ****ing ****? Who could have possibly known?

You always have the most useless posts.....

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by penguinz

If this is truly a competitive team with an actual club it is not even remotely close to being the parents job to criticize the coach. The club has team, technical and coaching directors that do this. He is their employee not yours.

You approaching him and critiquing him would be equivalent to you approaching a doctor at the hospital and telling him how to do his job. Means less than nothing from you but if from the Chief of Staff means a tremendous amount.

Yeah except it's the parents paying for everything. So, while I largely agree with you I don't think you can say the parents have no skin in the game. Part of the yearly fee is specifically for the coach. So who is who's employee is perhaps a bit debatable.

To your point, though, sorta, a parent from a team we played against got tossed out by the Ref. Another got a warning for walking on the field and talking to his kid who was playing in Goal.