When do you have a "talk" with your child's Coach?

[petegz28]

So my Son is 8 years old and playing in competitive soccer. I will be the first to admit that on his team of 9 he probably ranks 6th or 7th. Maybe 5th on a good day. He is disciplined, works hard, knows his game but is just one of the slower kids and not the strongest shooter. Usually plays Left or Right Back.

The Coach has had a tendency to play him less than the others and generally I am okay with that because at times he plays quite a bit. Then some things happened and I am not real sure how to approach it.

In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. My Son's Coach decided to play the "best players" into the ground and my Son got to play all of 10 minutes of a 50 minute game in a game that meant literally nothing. I was pissed but said nothing.

Then tonight at practice the Coach handed out MVP Pins to 5 of of the 8 kids that were there and one to a kid who was practicing with us but not on our team. He said they "tried hard" the last game. The irony is my Son played most of the last game and more than just about anyone else, and one of the kids that didn't get a pin had 2 goals. So the "they tried hard" crap doesn't seem to make sense.

I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1.

Our Coach is 22, and it's his first year coaching a team. I try to keep that in mind. I also have to keep in mind that if I piss him off he could plant my Son on the bench the rest of the season. Also with tryouts for next season coming up in a couple of weeks, I'd hate to do something to jeopardize my Son.

On the other hand, I see it as I am paying good $'s to play in this league and a dick move is a dick move.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

[oldman]

Originally Posted by petegz28

, oh what you think you know. We have played 4 tournaments so far. 3 games in each tournament. We have won a total of 2 games. And that was because we played up a couple of kids from an Academy team.

Wait, didn't you say in the OP "In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1."? Dude, that's 3 wins right there.

I'll repeat what I said earlier. YOU aren't happy with this coach and will probably never be. Just get your kid off this coach's team. YOU do it, don't wait for the league to do your dirty work for you.

[Rain Man]

I wonder if Kris Wilson's parents ever had a talk with the Chiefs coaches.

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by oldman

Wait, didn't you say in the OP "In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1."? Dude, that's 3 wins right there.

I'll repeat what I said earlier. YOU aren't happy with this coach and will probably never be. Just get your kid off this coach's team. YOU do it, don't wait for the league to do your dirty work for you.

Sorry, we have won 2 tournament games out of a total of 13 games. The 7-1 game was just a regular league play game.

[Mile High Mania]

Sounds like you are hell bent on being man-Karen. Good luck.

[Coogs]

Originally Posted by petegz28

, oh what you think you know. We have played 4 tournaments so far. 3 games in each tournament. We have won a total of 2 games. And that was because we played up a couple of kids from an Academy team.

And the coach you think is doing something right, ran them and the rest of our "good players" into the ground in a game that meant nothing and 3 hours later in the final they were gassed because our coach was so worried about winning a game that didn't matter.

I'm just going off the information presented in the OP. And one other post where the "favorites" thing came out.

[Mile High Mania]

Originally Posted by petegz28

Let's assume no parents ever said anything to him. How is he going to get better?

I haven't said anything to him and it isn't about just my kid. But nonetheless if someone doesn't ever tell you that you're doing something wrong and you think you're doing things right, how do you ever get better?

But whatever. Point of the thread was to ask other parents when they have decided to say something to a coach.

I think you are wound up too tight. You admitted that your kid was ranked in the bottom 3 players, yeah? So there is some realistic viewpoint there, that’s good and there’s nothing wrong with admitting your kid isn’t in the elite status… few are, especially at 8.

Sounds like you’re looking for confirmation to go berate the coach. Suggestion… step up and be a coach. All you can do is prepare your kid with lessons and positivity. Don’t set him up now with excuses…

He is 8 and over the last twenty years, too many parents view youth sports through the wrong lens. Recalibrate your expectations and put him in a position to learn, grow and enjoy the sport.

[stumppy]

Color me unsurprised.

[oldman]

I re-read this whole thread (mostly out of boredom) and you've made some points that are valid. HOWEVER, some of your statements are plain BS.
You've admitted your kid is in the bottom third of the roster. Reality check – those kids play less than the top third.
You made the assertion that one of the “favorites” parent is a league (or club) Admin. So what? They don't get those jobs unless they've been around the game for awhile. I'd guess that kid has older siblings that he's learned from. I can tell you my granddaughter that starts on a top 12 National team doesn't give any quarter to her Academy level younger brother when they scrimmage. And neither take it easy on their 7 year old brother. Of course he's going to have more skills.
You said “several” parents have expressed concerns. Why haven't they spoken up? Why do you have to be the standard bearer? My guess it's the parents of the other bottom third of the roster.
You made a statement that your team has only won 2 games all season, but then you wrote of a worthless game you won in the same time frame. When I pointed that out, you said backed off and said only 2 tourney games and a league one. I have never, in over 20 years of watching youth soccer, seen a league game played during a tournament.
I'm not trying to be mean here, but Dude –YOU have a problem. You can move the kid to another club if you don't like the coach. Don't be a passive-aggressive bitch and have the club do it for you. My guess is that you'll find fault with that coach as well. These club coaches are normally former star players, paid, and must be licensed. They know the game – you don't. They won't last long if they don't win, so of course winning is everything to them. My advice to you would be to move your kid to a rec level league and if he still wants to advance, send him to a soccer camp over the summer. Those are pretty cheap and come with feedback. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, just giving you some advice from a former coach and current grandfather.

[Coogs]

Originally Posted by oldman

I re-read this whole thread (mostly out of boredom) and you've made some points that are valid. HOWEVER, some of your statements are plain BS.
You've admitted your kid is in the bottom third of the roster. Reality check – those kids play less than the top third.
You made the assertion that one of the “favorites” parent is a league (or club) Admin. So what? They don't get those jobs unless they've been around the game for awhile. I'd guess that kid has older siblings that he's learned from. I can tell you my granddaughter that starts on a top 12 National team doesn't give any quarter to her Academy level younger brother when they scrimmage. And neither take it easy on their 7 year old brother. Of course he's going to have more skills.
You said “several” parents have expressed concerns. Why haven't they spoken up? Why do you have to be the standard bearer? My guess it's the parents of the other bottom third of the roster.
You made a statement that your team has only won 2 games all season, but then you wrote of a worthless game you won in the same time frame. When I pointed that out, you said backed off and said only 2 tourney games and a league one. I have never, in over 20 years of watching youth soccer, seen a league game played during a tournament.
I'm not trying to be mean here, but Dude –YOU have a problem. You can move the kid to another club if you don't like the coach. Don't be a passive-aggressive bitch and have the club do it for you. My guess is that you'll find fault with that coach as well. These club coaches are normally former star players, paid, and must be licensed. They know the game – you don't. They won't last long if they don't win, so of course winning is everything to them. My advice to you would be to move your kid to a rec level league and if he still wants to advance, send him to a soccer camp over the summer. Those are pretty cheap and come with feedback. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, just giving you some advice from a former coach and current grandfather.

This is what I am thinking as well. I was under the assumption the lad was a bottom third player on what was a pretty good team. Unfortunately that does not appear to be the case.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by oldman

I re-read this whole thread (mostly out of boredom) and you've made some points that are valid. HOWEVER, some of your statements are plain BS.
You've admitted your kid is in the bottom third of the roster. Reality check – those kids play less than the top third.
You made the assertion that one of the “favorites” parent is a league (or club) Admin. So what? They don't get those jobs unless they've been around the game for awhile. I'd guess that kid has older siblings that he's learned from. I can tell you my granddaughter that starts on a top 12 National team doesn't give any quarter to her Academy level younger brother when they scrimmage. And neither take it easy on their 7 year old brother. Of course he's going to have more skills.
You said “several” parents have expressed concerns. Why haven't they spoken up? Why do you have to be the standard bearer? My guess it's the parents of the other bottom third of the roster.
You made a statement that your team has only won 2 games all season, but then you wrote of a worthless game you won in the same time frame. When I pointed that out, you said backed off and said only 2 tourney games and a league one. I have never, in over 20 years of watching youth soccer, seen a league game played during a tournament.
I'm not trying to be mean here, but Dude –YOU have a problem. You can move the kid to another club if you don't like the coach. Don't be a passive-aggressive bitch and have the club do it for you. My guess is that you'll find fault with that coach as well. These club coaches are normally former star players, paid, and must be licensed. They know the game – you don't. They won't last long if they don't win, so of course winning is everything to them. My advice to you would be to move your kid to a rec level league and if he still wants to advance, send him to a soccer camp over the summer. Those are pretty cheap and come with feedback. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, just giving you some advice from a former coach and current grandfather.

Have you read a Pete thread before??

Passive aggressive bitch is his MO.

[Titty Meat]

You really are a moron Pete

[Pablo]

Now that I read thru this thread it's pretty clear this coach is the kind of guy who puts a mega-bright porch light up and blasts it directly into his neighbor's window.

[srvy]

You have that talk when you invite him to meet you at the George Brett statue.

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by Cave Johnson

Have you read a Pete thread before??

Passive aggressive bitch is his MO.

Okay, internet tough guy…


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[Jewish Rabbi]

Originally Posted by petegz28

Okay, internet tough guy…


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Fly down to Belize and beat his ass!!!