When do you have a "talk" with your child's Coach?

[ThyKingdomCome15]

This thread has officially gone off the rails.

[penguinz]

Is this a rec team or a premier team? If premier and you don't like it try out for a new club this summer. Coaches for 98% of premier teams are paid coaches and they have to win or get canned.

If it is rec you have the right to go bitch at the coach.

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by penguinz

Is this a rec team or a premier team? If premier and you don't like it try out for a new club this summer. Coaches for 98% of premier teams are paid coaches and they have to win or get canned.

If it is rec you have the right to go bitch at the coach.

It's Premiere. And again the playing time, I get that playing time is not always going to be equal nor should it be for the most part. But I think kids also should get to play in every game too. Especially when the "starters" are getting their ass handed to them.

Our Coach is weird with the lineup. For example, my son might start one game and play a total of 15 minutes and the next he might not start but then play 40 minutes. Seems to be no rhyme or reason to any of it.

Another thing I noticed is when other teams sub, if they have 3 on the bench then they sub 3 players. Our coach can have 2 or 3 on the bench and he will send them in one at a time and stuff. Like he is micro-managing the game.

[Chiefnj2]

Originally Posted by petegz28

Another thing I noticed is when other teams sub, if they have 3 on the bench then they sub 3 players. Our coach can have 2 or 3 on the bench and he will send them in one at a time and stuff. Like he is micro-managing the game.

At that age group, if the kids don't have a high sports IQ there can be a lot of confusion as to who is subbing in for who, and the kids on the field aren't certain who just came in and what position they are. 1 for 1 subs can help simplify things.

In the big picture, 99% of the kids don't give a crap about the game 10 minutes after it's over. They want ice cream, who is going to the pool, etc.

If you want to put things in perspective go to a game where you don't know anyone. Watch and listen to the insane parents and tell yourself, "don't be them".

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by Chiefnj2

At that age group, if the kids don't have a high sports IQ there can be a lot of confusion as to who is subbing in for who, and the kids on the field aren't certain who just came in and what position they are. 1 for 1 subs can help simplify things.

In the big picture, 99% of the kids don't give a crap about the game 10 minutes after it's over. They want ice cream, who is going to the pool, etc.

If you want to put things in perspective go to a game where you don't know anyone. Watch and listen to the insane parents and tell yourself, "don't be them".

He isn't doing the one at a time because they don't know who to go in for or where to play. That much I can tell you for sure.

Oh trust me on the parents gig. We played up 2 Academy kids in a few games and the parents of those 2 almost forced us to forfeit because they wouldn't shut up with yelling at the Ref. They were so bad we nicely tried to let our coach know we would rather get our ass stomped with our own kids than have those 2 kids up. Not because of the kids but because of their parents.

[LoneWolf]

Originally Posted by petegz28

He isn't doing the one at a time because they don't know who to go in for or where to play. That much I can tell you for sure.

Oh trust me on the parents gig. We played up 2 Academy kids in a few games and the parents of those 2 almost forced us to forfeit because they wouldn't shut up with yelling at the Ref. They were so bad we nicely tried to let our coach know we would rather get our ass stomped with our own kids than have those 2 kids up. Not because of the kids but because of their parents.

Really? Complaining about the ref is something that annoys you? That's like BigRedChief being annoyed by people that talk about themselves.

[Chiefnj2]

Originally Posted by petegz28

He isn't doing the one at a time because they don't know who to go in for or where to play. That much I can tell you for sure.

.

After coaching for years I can guarantee you have no idea what is going on with the kids on the bench during the game.


Coach: "Okay Matt you are going in for Tom at striker."
Matt: "I don't want to play striker. I want to be defense."
Coach: "I really need you at striker right now, I will try get you in at defense later in the half."
Matt: "I want to play defense."
Coach: "I just subbed in Kevin on defense two minutes ago. Defense isn't an option right now. Do your best at striker."
Matt: [Staring at the ground, refusing to get up]
Coach: "When your parents ask you why you didn't play much after the game, please make sure you tell them the truth."
Coach: "Barney, want to play striker? Tom is very tired."
Barney: "My stomach hurts, I ate my oranges before the game."

4 hours later - email from Matt's dad who is unhappy with his playing time.

[TripleThreat]

Years ago when I was younger on a competitive team, my dad went to a coaches & parent meeting. That year I went through a "Growth spurt" they called it. The parent's were all complaining about lack of playing time and actually brought me up to the coaches using my name as an example at which point my father stepped in and said hold on everyone. "Now look, my son is getting cut at the end of the year, that's just what's going to happen. Now you all need to consider if spending your money to have your child play X amount of minutes is worth it or not because this is a competitive team in a competitive league and the best players are going to play. My son will probably be going back to regular play and that's just how it is."


Funny thing is I was eventually cut, and then the team begged to have me back for years afterwards because I finished my awkward growth and went on to make the Olympic development team for the state. Was quite interesting how things turned out.

Ultimately on a competitive team, your son is having the opportunity to play against tough competition to essentially get better at a sport I assume he enjoys playing. I'd ask your son what he prefers because if you want to put him in a lower league aka the more basic ones, sure he will get more playing time but so will everyone else and you can't bitch if he gets taken out after he scores 2 goals because that's how those leagues operate.

[IowaHawkeyeChief]

Your first sentence said it all. My 8 year old son is playing in Competitive soccer. If you were in rec soccer shame on a coach for not trying to play all players equally to get them to enjoy the game. I coached a lot of sports and all the best 8 year olds are not all the best 16 year olds. However, you are on a "competitive" teams, and all bets are off. That coach is paid, an I'm guessing if you guys suck, he wouldn't be paid for long. That's the way competitive parents are as well. Also, a lot of kids burnout when you start them that young in a sport with that amount of competitive pressure. The older you get the more competitive the games should be, but they are 8. If your kid truly loves the game, they will get better, because they want to and will play when they are older. Make your kid the best 16 year old, not a resentful 16 year old who used to be the best 8 year old and now hates soccer... Just my opinion.

[Straight, No Chaser]

You be coach. Give everyone a trophy.

This is why people don’t want to coach or referee.

Wait till he says he wants to join a club team and asks for your routing number.

[petegz28]

Just found out that if he stays in the same division next season he gets the same coach. I almost want him to get knocked down a division. The coach I was hoping for looks like he isn't coach this next season.

[golfindude]

Originally Posted by petegz28

Just found out that if he stays in the same division next season he gets the same coach. I almost want him to get knocked down a division. The coach I was hoping for looks like he isn't coach this next season.

I see why you would hope for that coach. He sounds smart.

[Couch-Potato]

I coached children for 7 years. This is a really common thing, nothing to be ashamed of or whatever some of these guys are giving you crap for. But it's also important to remember that as a parent you are incredibly vested in your child's participation, performance, and treatment. It's important to remember that there are a lot of kids on the team each with their own levels of skill, motivation, competitiveness, etc and the coach is doing his best to nourish each child's development to the best of their ability. 22 yr old is a kid himself and its tough to have high expectations of someone that age, but I love how dedicated you are to helping your boy advance his skill set!

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by Couch-Potato

I coached children for 7 years. This is a really common thing, nothing to be ashamed of or whatever some of these guys are giving you crap for. But it's also important to remember that as a parent you are incredibly vested in your child's participation, performance, and treatment. It's important to remember that there are a lot of kids on the team each with their own levels of skill, motivation, competitiveness, etc and the coach is doing his best to nourish each child's development to the best of their ability. 22 yr old is a kid himself and its tough to have high expectations of someone that age, but I love how dedicated you are to helping your boy advance his skill set!

Great post. All I ask from any coach is to give every kid a fair look. I understand some kids are better than others and you would hope that would be the reason they are on the field more. But in our case I think our "favored player" gets the favor because he is the son of the team Admin. The Admin is a volunteer position so maybe he feels he needs to play her kid as a thank you or something. Don't get me wrong, the kid isn't terrible but I know when they break out for skill drills and he is with my son, my son is showing him how to do even the most basic of skills.

I will never try to buy my kid's way or suck up to a coach, which I think the Admin does but that is what it is. All I want is the coach to be fair to the team, give each kid honest looks and be honest with the players. And most of all, be a good example. Our coach has a bad habit of talking a lot of shit but never following through with any of it.