When do you have a "talk" with your child's Coach?

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by The Franchise

Same with my daughter who’s 11. She’s grown so much in the last year at this new club that she loves the game again. We moved clubs because her coach before this had her regressing after a year.

There are shit coaches. People don’t seem to understand that. This isn’t rec soccer where you paid a $50 fee and you should just suck it up. This coach that Pete is talking about could cause his son to either lose interest in the game or cause his skills to decline if he isn’t teaching him anything. Pete has a right to be pissed.

My twins coach (4 yrs old) is just such a coach. He's awful.

But there's a little boy on that team who's just a monster. Incredible player. Early in the year he was just rolling over everyone, scoring every goal. The games were pretty awful because the other team couldn't even get it past midfield before he'd steal it and score.

Starting about 4 weeks ago we noticed that he was hanging back on D. He was getting the ball then going to the corner and looking for passes. He was playing COMPLETELY differently and getting his teammates involved. Well we know his dad and are fairly similar in how we view this whole '4 year olds playing magnet ball thing'. I talked to him a bit and he was like "yeah, I had a talk with him about dialing it back and working on other skills that can help his teammates improve. It's hard because you want to teach them to be assertive but you can't have him doing what he was doing either..."

Well last week our 'regular' coach wasn't there so this same boy's dad stepped in. And suddenly he's running down the field with the little girl who's typically picking dandylions and getting kids to peel off the pile of toddlers to create passing lanes. He's telling kids to do something and when they don't, he goes and talks to them about it, shows them how to do it and then works with them to correct it.

Near the end of the 1st half my boy (who has the most hyperactive sense of right/wrong I've ever seen - that boy WILL get his pound of flesh if he feels he or his sisters have been wronged somehow) was trailing his sister. She'd made a nice little steal and was going towards the sideline. He was trying to run blocker and a kid came up and was pulling/shoving him. The ball goes out of bounds and the other kid kinda shoves him and then kicks near baby sister. So the boy just turns and kicks the shit out of him right in the shin. Kid collapses into a ball of tears. The 'substitute' coach walks over there, puts a hand on his shoulder, points to the sideline and says "you're done until I say you're not..."

****ing awesome. Then at halftime he takes Son number 1 over to the boy he kicked and made him apologize. The regular coach would've just ignored it. They're kids, dammit - coach 'em. Teach them stuff. I mean if you're not going to teach them "Don't be a dick" at LEAST teach them "The 2nd guy always gets caught..."

In one stupid game I saw that team improve more than they had all season. By the end of the game I told my wife I'd coach a team next year before I let the twins play for the clown that had been standing in front of the goal box pleading while his 'ringers' just mow kids down. I mean you don't have to know the intricacies of defensive alignments at that age - you just have to know how to freakin' teach kids. And really, it ain't that hard. They're kids. They're stupid. They're in awe of lightning bugs and loud noises. If you can't say or do something that they find worth listening to, you're REALLY bad at this.

Some coaches are bad coaches. Then again, some parents are shitheels. It's kinda hard to know the difference without being there.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

My twins coach (4 yrs old) is just such a coach. He's awful.

But there's a little boy on that team who's just a monster. Incredible player. Early in the year he was just rolling over everyone, scoring every goal. The games were pretty awful because the other team couldn't even get it past midfield before he'd steal it and score.

Starting about 4 weeks ago we noticed that he was hanging back on D. He was getting the ball then going to the corner and looking for passes. He was playing COMPLETELY differently and getting his teammates involved. Well we know his dad and are fairly similar in how we view this whole '4 year olds playing magnet ball thing'. I talked to him a bit and he was like "yeah, I had a talk with him about dialing it back and working on other skills that can help his teammates improve. It's hard because you want to teach them to be assertive but you can't have him doing what he was doing either..."

Well last week our 'regular' coach wasn't there so this same boy's dad stepped in. And suddenly he's running down the field with the little girl who's typically picking dandylions and getting kids to peel off the pile of toddlers to create passing lanes. He's telling kids to do something and when they don't, he goes and talks to them about it, shows them how to do it and then works with them to correct it.

Near the end of the 1st half my boy (who has the most hyperactive sense of right/wrong I've ever seen - that boy WILL get his pound of flesh if he feels he or his sisters have been wronged somehow) was trailing his sister. She'd made a nice little steal and was going towards the sideline. He was trying to run blocker and a kid came up and was pulling/shoving him. The ball goes out of bounds and the other kid kinda shoves him and then kicks near baby sister. So the boy just turns and kicks the shit out of him right in the shin. Kid collapses into a ball of tears. The 'substitute' coach walks over there, puts a hand on his shoulder, points to the sideline and says "you're done until I say you're not..."

****ing awesome. Then at halftime he takes Son number 1 over to the boy he kicked and made him apologize. The regular coach would've just ignored it. They're kids, dammit - coach 'em. Teach them stuff. I mean if you're not going to teach them "Don't be a dick" at LEAST teach them "The 2nd guy always gets caught..."

In one stupid game I saw that team improve more than they had all season. By the end of the game I told my wife I'd coach a team next year before I let the twins play for the clown that had been standing in front of the goal box pleading while his 'ringers' just mow kids down. I mean you don't have to know the intricacies of defensive alignments at that age - you just have to know how to freakin' teach kids. And really, it ain't that hard. They're kids. They're stupid. They're in awe of lightning bugs and loud noises. If you can't say or do something that they find worth listening to, you're REALLY bad at this.

Some coaches are bad coaches. Then again, some parents are shitheels. It's kinda hard to know the difference without being there.

Oh for sure. There are definitely shit coaches and a majority of parents are garbage at that age. All they want to do is win and their kid to score all the goals.

My daughters last coach that caused us to move clubs was a guy who had experience coaching high school girls. Everyone found that out and thought it would be awesome. Turns out he has no clue how to work with younger kids. Practices were him letting the girls goof around and when it came to games…..he would ask the girls what position they wanted to play that game. I heard that and was done. These kids need guidance and by that age….most kids have positions that their skills fit.

Needless to say, my 11 year old’s skills declined because there was never any technical work and it just became the kids kicking a ball around with no guidance. Every game was them getting their ass kicked. They won one game and that was because the coach was gone that day.

She’s thriving in her new club and she’s grown so much but she’s still behind the kids in her age group because she lost a year of development when the other girls didn’t.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by The Franchise

Oh for sure. There are definitely shit coaches and a majority of parents are garbage at that age. All they want to do is win and their kid to score all the goals.

My daughters last coach that caused us to move clubs was a guy who had experience coaching high school girls. Everyone found that out and thought it would be awesome. Turns out he has no clue how to work with younger kids. Practices were him letting the girls goof around and when it came to games…..he would ask the girls what position they wanted to play that game. I heard that and was done. These kids need guidance and by that age….most kids have positions that their skills fit.

Needless to say, my 11 year old’s skills declined because there was never any technical work and it just became the kids kicking a ball around with no guidance. Every game was them getting their ass kicked. They won one game and that was because the coach was gone that day.

She’s thriving in her new club and she’s grown so much but she’s still behind the kids in her age group because she lost a year of development when the other girls didn’t.

Yeah, I'll tap out on soccer around 10 because that's when you need to be able to identify and cultivate those individual skills to fit certain roles. That's beyond my pay grade (except I know one girl on my oldest kids team is a born center mid - absolute fireplug that goes 100 mph the whole game, fast as hell and physical).

I think it was Lalas that said years ago that USA Soccer's biggest problem is that they don't emphasize individual skills enough at younger levels. So they spend so much time focusing on scheme and fit that these players don't end up versatile enough to operate at high levels. I can see some truth to that.

And ultimately it's just a line I know I wouldn't be able to walk.