When do you have a "talk" with your child's Coach?

[petegz28]

So my Son is 8 years old and playing in competitive soccer. I will be the first to admit that on his team of 9 he probably ranks 6th or 7th. Maybe 5th on a good day. He is disciplined, works hard, knows his game but is just one of the slower kids and not the strongest shooter. Usually plays Left or Right Back.

The Coach has had a tendency to play him less than the others and generally I am okay with that because at times he plays quite a bit. Then some things happened and I am not real sure how to approach it.

In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. My Son's Coach decided to play the "best players" into the ground and my Son got to play all of 10 minutes of a 50 minute game in a game that meant literally nothing. I was pissed but said nothing.

Then tonight at practice the Coach handed out MVP Pins to 5 of of the 8 kids that were there and one to a kid who was practicing with us but not on our team. He said they "tried hard" the last game. The irony is my Son played most of the last game and more than just about anyone else, and one of the kids that didn't get a pin had 2 goals. So the "they tried hard" crap doesn't seem to make sense.

I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1.

Our Coach is 22, and it's his first year coaching a team. I try to keep that in mind. I also have to keep in mind that if I piss him off he could plant my Son on the bench the rest of the season. Also with tryouts for next season coming up in a couple of weeks, I'd hate to do something to jeopardize my Son.

On the other hand, I see it as I am paying good $'s to play in this league and a dick move is a dick move.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by Chiefshrink

Excellent !! He will thank you later on in life for letting him know early in life that life isn't fair and he just has to keep working harder and smarter than the next guy and his blessings will come !! This is what you drill into his head that his blessings WILL COME EVENTUALLY !!

My Wife and I keep telling him that one day his hard work is going to pay off. He takes private soccer lessons from a very good Coach. I wish he could play for him but the Coach is so good he has the sack to tell my Son point blank why he is not good enough yet to play for him and what he needs to do.

He also is taking agility training and general physical fitness training. All at 8 years old and all to get better at soccer. On top of that there is the training at home.

I have no problems paying or any of it as long as it's what he wants to do. And I love to see the drive and determination in him. I think it will pay off in the long run for both sports and life in general. He is learning at an early age that just because you love something doesn't mean it will come easy or without a cost.

[kcclone]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I’ve. Coached 3 sports for around 13 years. This year I didn’t coach baseball.

It bugs me that they don’t take infield. It bugs me that they don’t practice ground balls. It bugs me there isn’t any hitting before a game. It bugs me that kids that shouldn’t be in key positions are….they’re the kids of the new coaches….who have complained about their sons lack of playing time or key positions in other sports. One of them took a grounder to the eye tonight. It bugs me that they let the pitchers struggle without going to the mound, or noticing basic things like a heal hitting before a toe, or a hand turned sideways at release….

I didn’t coach this year….so I don’t say shit about it. I choose to hit some ground balls to my kid and a friend on our time. I play catch with me kid. I spend time at the hitting cage with my kid and others who want to go where I do. I offer suggestions to boys I know where I think it will help. But I don’t say shit to the coach.

The problem as a parent, for the coaching side, is there are other factors. I had a mom bitch at me for not having enough practices a few years ago. I was working 2 jobs, remodeling a house….and my response…during the game when she complained was “ I woke up in Alaska at 2am this morning, spent all day flying, got in my truck, drove here, changed my shirt in the parking lot 20 min before the game and I’m here….coaching your kid….before I went home to take a shit.

I’ve had a kid piss on my hands while I helped him put on catchers knee guards….I’ve had adults try to fight me while I bought popsicles for my team….I’ve had parents who didn’t understand that their kid can’t be quarterback because he’s too stupid to know left from right, or remember 2 plays in a row. He can’t be a runn8 g back because he’s afraid to get hit and cried when I tried to put him in when someone got hurt. Maybe the kid does t work hard in practice. Maybe he backtalked a coach. Maybe the coach heard the kid was bullying a teammate at school. There are reasons.

Maybe the coach is an idiot….but he’s coaching.
Maybe your kid needs to work more, that’s what I tell mine if they don’t like their role.
Maybe the kid is just meant to be a great teammate.

A parents job is to bring their kid to practices and games…..sit in the bleachers and cheer.

If you don’t like it, pass your back ground check, pay your fee and sign up to coach next season.

Yep, there are always two sides to these stories. Also, youth coaches get a bad rap. Having coached a ton of youth football and basketball for the last five years, I’d say that most of the time it’s undeserved.

I have not had too many complaints, generally because I’m coaching them age appropriately.

With that said, I had my first playing time complaint this spring….. after one freaking game.

It annoys me when lazy parents, who literally don’t do sh*t except pass on crappy athletic genes and then expect to live vicariously through their kid expect you to “get their kid more involved”, despite being the slowest and least aggressive kid on the roster.

Any way, youth coaches take a lot of shots from parents. My advice to those parents is to get off your ass and coach your own team if you don’t like it.

[Jewish Rabbi]

Tell the coach you bought him a bath bomb as a token of your appreciation for him and then give him a toaster

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by kcclone

Yep, there are always two sides to these stories. Also, youth coaches get a bad rap. Having coached a ton of youth football and basketball for the last five years, I’d say that most of the time it’s undeserved.

I have not had too many complaints, generally because I’m coaching them age appropriately.

With that said, I had my first playing time complaint this spring….. after one freaking game.

It annoys me when lazy parents, who literally don’t do sh*t except pass on crappy athletic genes and then expect to live vicariously through their kid expect you to “get their kid more involved”, despite being the slowest and least aggressive kid on the roster.

Any way, youth coaches take a lot of shots from parents. My advice to those parents is to get off your ass and coach your own team if you don’t like it.

If I could coach at this level I would. I love teaching the kids sports and what it takes to be a good athlete. I did get to help coach a Rec soccer team last summer and the Coach of the team was very complimentary of what I did and how I did things.

The best Coaches I have had in my life were the ones who taught you to expect to win but did not put winning above all. They taught you how to be good at the sport you were playing, how to always give 110%, how to be a good team player and how to push yourself. Winning was just a byproduct of all of that. And I always won the most under the coaches that focused on everything but winning at all costs.

[kcclone]

Originally Posted by petegz28

My Wife and I keep telling him that one day his hard work is going to pay off. He takes private soccer lessons from a very good Coach. I wish he could play for him but the Coach is so good he has the sack to tell my Son point blank why he is not good enough yet to play for him and what he needs to do.

He also is taking agility training and general physical fitness training. All at 8 years old and all to get better at soccer. On top of that there is the training at home.

I have no problems paying or any of it as long as it's what he wants to do. And I love to see the drive and determination in him. I think it will pay off in the long run for both sports and life in general. He is learning at an early age that just because you love something doesn't mean it will come easy or without a cost.

Be very careful not to burn him out. That sounds like a lot of training for an 8 year old. Does he play other sports? Playing other sports will help him with soccer and take some of the pressure off. Also, hedging a little is always smart, especially if he’s a run of the mill club player.

What you’re describing is probably more age appropriate for an 11-12 year old. Just my two cents.

[kcclone]

Originally Posted by petegz28

If I could coach at this level I would. I love teaching the kids sports and what it takes to be a good athlete. I did get to help coach a Rec soccer team last summer and the Coach of the team was very complimentary of what I did and how I did things.

The best Coaches I have had in my life were the ones who taught you to expect to win but did not put winning above all. They taught you how to be good at the sport you were playing, how to always give 110%, how to be a good team player and how to push yourself. Winning was just a byproduct of all of that. And I always won the most under the coaches that focused on everything but winning at all costs.

I wasn’t directing that at you, as much as the youth parent complainer in general.

And my experience is more on the daddy coach side. Paying a coach is a different matter.

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by kcclone

Be very careful not to burn him out. That sounds like a lot of training for an 8 year old. Does he play other sports? Playing other sports will help him with soccer and take some of the pressure off. Also, hedging a little is always smart, especially if he’s a run of the mill club player.

What you’re describing is probably more age appropriate for an 11-12 year old. Just my two cents.

He hasn't yet but he has expressed some interest in basketball. This next winter we are going to do Rec basketball but he has no interest in any other sports.

I was a bit worried about the burn out but he loves it and it means time exercising vs. time in front of a video screen. His neighborhood friends go outside only when their parents force them too and he loves being outside. So he would rather be at a training session than sitting inside. He has been very busy but we are taking the summer off while still doing some fitness and soccer training. He thrives on all of that right now and has told me several times he would rather go exercise than sit inside at a friends house playing video games.

[TimBone]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

I coached little league competitive baseball for 10 years. Every kid knew why they weren’t playing or what I expected for them to keep improving to stay as a starter.

But, I coached a year of rec ball before competitive and I wasn’t 22 but 30. Give him some slack or help coach.

How often do you have to replace the I key on your keyboard?

[Vladimir_Kyrilytch]

OP, you dont need to capitalize "Son". Unless youre talking about the Son of Man, Jesus Christ himself. "son" is fine.

[Why Not?]

Originally Posted by mlyonsd

Youth soccer sounds like a shit show to me if it is so competitive an 8 year old kid has to tryout for a team.

My oldest played youth soccer from age 6-13. It ranks as the biggest scam I've come across thus far as a parent. Between all of the fees and the bullshit "Academy"teams and what not, it's stupid. When he said this year he wanted to quit to do track and school, he did not get any flack from me.

[|Zach|]

Originally Posted by TimBone

How often do you have to replace the I key on your keyboard?

[Eleazar]

youth sports Karen is the worst Karen

[cdcox]

Think 20 years into the future. How important is this experience with respect to the person you hope your son becomes?

Within the UNIVERSE of your aspirations for your son, your options are

1. Stick it out
2. Switch teams

I don’t see an option where muscling the coach improves your son’s prospects for success in life.

[Titty Meat]

Anyone else shocked Pete of all people made this thread?

[carcosa]

Originally Posted by petegz28

So my Son is 8 years old and playing in competitive soccer. I will be the first to admit that on his team of 9 he probably ranks 6th or 7th. Maybe 5th on a good day. He is disciplined, works hard, knows his game but is just one of the slower kids and not the strongest shooter. Usually plays Left or Right Back.

The Coach has had a tendency to play him less than the others and generally I am okay with that because at times he plays quite a bit. Then some things happened and I am not real sure how to approach it.

In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. My Son's Coach decided to play the "best players" into the ground and my Son got to play all of 10 minutes of a 50 minute game in a game that meant literally nothing. I was pissed but said nothing.

Then tonight at practice the Coach handed out MVP Pins to 5 of of the 8 kids that were there and one to a kid who was practicing with us but not on our team. He said they "tried hard" the last game. The irony is my Son played most of the last game and more than just about anyone else, and one of the kids that didn't get a pin had 2 goals. So the "they tried hard" crap doesn't seem to make sense.

I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1.

Our Coach is 22, and it's his first year coaching a team. I try to keep that in mind. I also have to keep in mind that if I piss him off he could plant my Son on the bench the rest of the season. Also with tryouts for next season coming up in a couple of weeks, I'd hate to do something to jeopardize my Son.

On the other hand, I see it as I am paying good $'s to play in this league and a dick move is a dick move.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

idk