How are you holding up?

[DaFace]

Just curious how the community at large is holding up these days. That's all.

[Bob Dole]

Originally Posted by DaFace

Just don't look too closely at what they mean by that.

(Like cars, they do most of their final assembly in the U.S., but many of their parts aren't made here. They're intentionally vague about that part.)

True. Cars usually say "assembled" though.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by The Franchise

Just found out my Mom got tested. Now we have to wait 24-48 hours. **** this shit.

Test came back negative. Thank God for that.

[Mecca]

Originally Posted by The Franchise

Test came back negative. Thank God for that.

Since you have some children........I'm going to ask you something.

What do you do with a 16 year old actually she's nearly 17 who literally won't do anything?

When I told her about her school doing online stuff she might as well have said "**** that shit" and I generally say at her age it's on her, she's basically an adult but this is getting stupid.

Her schedule consists of sleeping and staring at her phone and if you ask her to pitch in to do something, it doesn't go well.

[Eureka]

Originally Posted by Mecca

Since you have some children........I'm going to ask you something.

What do you do with a 16 year old actually she's nearly 17 who literally won't do anything?

When I told her about her school doing online stuff she might as well have said "**** that shit" and I generally say at her age it's on her, she's basically an adult but this is getting stupid.

Her schedule consists of sleeping and staring at her phone and if you ask her to pitch in to do something, it doesn't go well.

Boarding School possibly

My older brother has a son with the same issue. He's a good kid overall that doesn't get into trouble and no drugs. But he is exactly what you describe.

[Mecca]

Originally Posted by Eureka

Boarding School possibly

My older brother has a son with the same issue. He's a good kid overall that doesn't get into trouble and no drugs. But he is exactly what you describe.

She's my step kid.........she's always been insanely difficult to deal with since she was little. A therapist said she was ADHD and ODD, she's always refused to do things, school has always been an issue and she magically isn't good at school because "the teacher is an asshole" basically if teachers don't hold her hand and not ask her to do anything she hates them.

Anyone that tries to hold her to a standard...yea doesn't go well. And I'll be honest we as parents are probably at fault for this to a degree. By the time she got to say 6th grade we had given up on making her do homework. Neither my wife nor I wanted to have a screaming session every single evening with her and then she still wouldn't do it. Her therapist told us to let her fail and have real life consequences...turns out she doesn't care about them. Then it became I'm really tired of this shit ruining my evening everyday.

I just don't know what to do with a person that has no hobbies, no interests, and is hopelessly addicted to their phone and doing nothing. Staring at snapchat and facebook all day isn't really a hobby. I told my wife that I just don't know what to do with her, if you aren't good at something I can accept that, but when you have no want to, no drive, no passion for anything what do I do with that?

Even simple household chores are frustrating...and even though she is nearing 17, you'd think she was more like 12, it's like she has no concept she is about to be an adult and needs to grow up.

[HayWire]

Originally Posted by Mecca

She's my step kid.........she's always been insanely difficult to deal with since she was little. A therapist said she was ADHD and ODD, she's always refused to do things, school has always been an issue and she magically isn't good at school because "the teacher is an asshole" basically if teachers don't hold her hand and not ask her to do anything she hates them.

Anyone that tries to hold her to a standard...yea doesn't go well. And I'll be honest we as parents are probably at fault for this to a degree. By the time she got to say 6th grade we had given up on making her do homework. Neither my wife nor I wanted to have a screaming session every single evening with her and then she still wouldn't do it. Her therapist told us to let her fail and have real life consequences...turns out she doesn't care about them. Then it became I'm really tired of this shit ruining my evening everyday.

I just don't know what to do with a person that has no hobbies, no interests, and is hopelessly addicted to their phone and doing nothing. Staring at snapchat and facebook all day isn't really a hobby. I told my wife that I just don't know what to do with her, if you aren't good at something I can accept that, but when you have no want to, no drive, no passion for anything what do I do with that?

Even simple household chores are frustrating...and even though she is nearing 17, you'd think she was more like 12, it's like she has no concept she is about to be an adult and needs to grow up.

Do you pay the phone bill? I'm an "old school" parent that still does "my way or the highway". My oldest son was the exact same way when he was younger and we had to get pretty tough with him to get shit done. I used to shut off the wifi when we weren't using it and he only had his phone when he went somewhere.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by Mecca

Since you have some children........I'm going to ask you something.

What do you do with a 16 year old actually she's nearly 17 who literally won't do anything?

When I told her about her school doing online stuff she might as well have said "**** that shit" and I generally say at her age it's on her, she's basically an adult but this is getting stupid.

Her schedule consists of sleeping and staring at her phone and if you ask her to pitch in to do something, it doesn't go well.

I mean at that point....she’s past the age of forcing her to do shit. You can try cutting her phone off or taking it away but I don’t know what that will get you.

When I was a kid....I hated school and ended up graduating with a shitty gpa. I’m doing good now but it took me a while and I basically had to luck into my profession. Find out what she wants to do after high school and then figure out what she needs to get there. Try and lay it out for her.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by Mecca

She's my step kid.........she's always been insanely difficult to deal with since she was little. A therapist said she was ADHD and ODD, she's always refused to do things, school has always been an issue and she magically isn't good at school because "the teacher is an asshole" basically if teachers don't hold her hand and not ask her to do anything she hates them.

Anyone that tries to hold her to a standard...yea doesn't go well. And I'll be honest we as parents are probably at fault for this to a degree. By the time she got to say 6th grade we had given up on making her do homework. Neither my wife nor I wanted to have a screaming session every single evening with her and then she still wouldn't do it. Her therapist told us to let her fail and have real life consequences...turns out she doesn't care about them. Then it became I'm really tired of this shit ruining my evening everyday.

I just don't know what to do with a person that has no hobbies, no interests, and is hopelessly addicted to their phone and doing nothing. Staring at snapchat and facebook all day isn't really a hobby. I told my wife that I just don't know what to do with her, if you aren't good at something I can accept that, but when you have no want to, no drive, no passion for anything what do I do with that?

Even simple household chores are frustrating...and even though she is nearing 17, you'd think she was more like 12, it's like she has no concept she is about to be an adult and needs to grow up.

Explain to her that at 18 you are not legally responsible for her and unless she’s doing something with her life....she won’t be living in your house. And then at 18....follow through. She’ll either learn or fail. You can’t do much for her at that point.

[lewdog]

Work is slow. So instead of going in and doing not much for a full day, I’m using PTO and taking today off.

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by Mecca

She's my step kid.........she's always been insanely difficult to deal with since she was little. A therapist said she was ADHD and ODD, she's always refused to do things, school has always been an issue and she magically isn't good at school because "the teacher is an asshole" basically if teachers don't hold her hand and not ask her to do anything she hates them.

Anyone that tries to hold her to a standard...yea doesn't go well. And I'll be honest we as parents are probably at fault for this to a degree. By the time she got to say 6th grade we had given up on making her do homework. Neither my wife nor I wanted to have a screaming session every single evening with her and then she still wouldn't do it. Her therapist told us to let her fail and have real life consequences...turns out she doesn't care about them. Then it became I'm really tired of this shit ruining my evening everyday.

I just don't know what to do with a person that has no hobbies, no interests, and is hopelessly addicted to their phone and doing nothing. Staring at snapchat and facebook all day isn't really a hobby. I told my wife that I just don't know what to do with her, if you aren't good at something I can accept that, but when you have no want to, no drive, no passion for anything what do I do with that?

Even simple household chores are frustrating...and even though she is nearing 17, you'd think she was more like 12, it's like she has no concept she is about to be an adult and needs to grow up.

My first thought after reading your first post was pretty much that... my parents told us that we can either be in school (while not flunking out) or pay rent to live with them.

Option 1 is to study and contribute around the house.... option 2 is to start paying for your own food, cell phone bill, your own room, etc... option 3 is to GTFO (at 18, I'd assume, or else that might not go well).

Of course, the flipside is no parent wants to end up seeing their kid go homeless or worse. My older brother was homeless for a short time (not because my parents kicked him out), and he got his shit together in very short time after that.

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by lewdog

Work is slow. So instead of going in and doing not much for a full day, I’m using PTO and taking today off.

Who knew so many people go to the hospital voluntarily for shit?

[luv]

Originally Posted by HayWire

Do you pay the phone bill? I'm an "old school" parent that still does "my way or the highway". My oldest son was the exact same way when he was younger and we had to get pretty tough with him to get shit done. I used to shut off the wifi when we weren't using it and he only had his phone when he went somewhere.

This is what I'm thinking. If you're paying for it, it's your phone, not hers, and you can take it from her whenever you'd like. If she wants it back, she can either get a job and get her own or do what she's supposed to be doing at home.

I already practice this with my 4-year-old. Whatever his distraction is from doing what I tell him to do, I take it away until he does what I ask him to do. There are usually tears involved. If he maintains a bad attitude while doing it, I tell him he still won't get whatever it was he had until he flips his mood.

[luv]

Originally Posted by Bearcat

My first thought after reading your first post was pretty much that... my parents told us that we can either be in school (while not flunking out) or pay rent to live with them.

Option 1 is to study and contribute around the house.... option 2 is to start paying for your own food, cell phone bill, your own room, etc... option 3 is to GTFO (at 18, I'd assume, or else that might not go well).

Of course, the flipside is no parent wants to end up seeing their kid go homeless or worse. My older brother was homeless for a short time (not because my parents kicked him out), and he got his shit together in very short time after that.

Same here, only mine prefers it to holding down a job. And, of course, my mom doesn't want him on the street, so she lets him stay there while not working (or doing much of anything), and he's 47.

[Mecca]

Originally Posted by The Franchise

Explain to her that at 18 you are not legally responsible for her and unless she’s doing something with her life....she won’t be living in your house. And then at 18....follow through. She’ll either learn or fail. You can’t do much for her at that point.

To respond to the posts here, I don't pay her phone bill, her dad does as that was his present to her one year. If it was my call she wouldn't have a phone, I told my wife had I paid for that phone nothing would give me greater pleasure that smashing it with a hammer in front of her. She is very heavily addicted to it and you can see it.

I have told her when she's 18 and not in school she'll pay rent to stay with us, she acts like that is so far away it's not even worth thinking about. She has no desire to drive...like I said her mentality is more like 12 than 16, other than dudes.

As far as holding a job, I don't think she could hold one for more than 5 minutes.......she will not do anything she doesn't want to, she's standoffish with anyone telling her what to do including teachers etc. And the real issue is she is just SOOOO god damn slow.

When doing a house chore it takes her forever. It took her 3 hours to do dinner dishes last night...I have a god damn dishwasher, she has no focus, constantly distracted.

I just feel like there is no answer.

[Mecca]

Originally Posted by luv

This is what I'm thinking. If you're paying for it, it's your phone, not hers, and you can take it from her whenever you'd like. If she wants it back, she can either get a job and get her own or do what she's supposed to be doing at home.

I already practice this with my 4-year-old. Whatever his distraction is from doing what I tell him to do, I take it away until he does what I ask him to do. There are usually tears involved. If he maintains a bad attitude while doing it, I tell him he still won't get whatever it was he had until he flips his mood.

At her age.....this is a true story, if you ask for the phone she will refuse, so then to take it you have to physically fight her to get it, she hit me in my face one day over it....

Like I said addiction.