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Old 04-28-2021, 10:46 PM  
patteeu patteeu is offline
The 23rd Pillar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
I’m leaving forever.

Seriously, I am.


I know what you’re thinking. Maybe I got annoyed by something someone said. Maybe after two Super Bowls in a row I’m satiated on the Chiefs. Maybe I’m going to prison, or joining Dick Cheney on a barnstorming tour, or maybe the antifreeze actually wasn’t a good idea and I died.

The fun of a farewell forever thread is not in knowing the reason. It’s in not knowing, and the mystery behind the disappearance. MrBlond is legendary not because he was here or because he left, but rather because of how he departed. He was DB Cooper jumping out of the Chiefsplanet plane and disappearing into the night, and with that act he became immortal.

It is now my time to parachute from the plane, and I can assure you that I will not return. It would be enjoyable to become an unsolved Chiefsplanet mystery in the process, but I can’t do that to you. It’s cruel enough that you will no longer get to read my thoughtful prose and learn from my wisdom. I can’t allow you to speculate forever about what became of me, and to always wonder if that guy with the fake glasses and mustache sitting next to you at the game is me.

So I’ve instructed one Chiefsplanet member to reveal the mystery. If this thread ever reaches 1,000 posts, that person will share the reason. But until then, you will have only my boarding pass, a flight attendant’s vague description, and 110,871 posts to remember me by.

Farewell, Chiefsplanet!

(Sound of wind rushing past an open passenger cabin door.)


Last edited by DaFace; 05-18-2021 at 03:00 PM..
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Old 05-01-2021, 12:50 AM   #1006
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
We'd like to thank everyone for participating in patteeu's "leaving forever" thread.

Here’s the story: patteeu had a terminal illness and knew that his remaining time was short. He joked with a few of us who knew him about how it would be funny to post a "leaving forever" thread once he could no longer post. After he passed away, we thought it would be a nice tribute to give him that wish, so we impersonated him as a one-time thing to make this thread. We apologize for the temporary subterfuge, but wanted to give him a grand and sincere 1,000 post departure to push his Viking ship from the shore. Thanks for making it a great one! It was a perfect “leaving forever” thread.

We'll post a traditional RIP thread now, and salute an all-time great poster and person. I'm going to miss you, patteeu.
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Old 05-01-2021, 12:51 AM   #1007
Abba-Dabba Abba-Dabba is offline
MVP
 
Join Date: May 2001
Sad
Posts: 18,145
Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Abba-Dabba Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 05-01-2021, 01:05 AM   #1008
bringbackmarty bringbackmarty is offline
Gonna go back in time....
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Kansas City
Jesus, he died. I'm a dick, I thought it was more of the usual drama around here. Sad deal. My condolences to his friends and family.
Posts: 3,037
bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.bringbackmarty would the whole thing.
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Old 05-01-2021, 01:08 AM   #1009
eDave eDave is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pawnmower View Post
guys

i.****ing love you all

I cant believe I was here for this moment
Love you too, Pawnmower.
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Old 05-01-2021, 03:07 AM   #1010
Hoopsdoc Hoopsdoc is offline
Itinerant degenerate.
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Caretaker, Overlook Hotel
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
We'd like to thank everyone for participating in patteeu's "leaving forever" thread.

Here’s the story: patteeu had a terminal illness and knew that his remaining time was short. He joked with a few of us who knew him about how it would be funny to post a "leaving forever" thread once he could no longer post. After he passed away, we thought it would be a nice tribute to give him that wish, so we impersonated him as a one-time thing to make this thread. We apologize for the temporary subterfuge, but wanted to give him a grand and sincere 1,000 post departure to push his Viking ship from the shore. Thanks for making it a great one! It was a perfect “leaving forever” thread.

We'll post a traditional RIP thread now, and salute an all-time great poster and person. I'm going to miss you, patteeu.
Wait, so the op wasn’t actually Pat?

Wow. You guys did a great job impersonating his style. I really thought it was him.

Rest In Peace, Patteau. You will be missed.
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Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Hoopsdoc has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 05-01-2021, 05:25 AM   #1011
Raiderhater Raiderhater is offline
**** the Raiders
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: A Webb of chaos
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
We'd like to thank everyone for participating in patteeu's "leaving forever" thread.

Here’s the story: patteeu had a terminal illness and knew that his remaining time was short. He joked with a few of us who knew him about how it would be funny to post a "leaving forever" thread once he could no longer post. After he passed away, we thought it would be a nice tribute to give him that wish, so we impersonated him as a one-time thing to make this thread. We apologize for the temporary subterfuge, but wanted to give him a grand and sincere 1,000 post departure to push his Viking ship from the shore. Thanks for making it a great one! It was a perfect “leaving forever” thread.

We'll post a traditional RIP thread now, and salute an all-time great poster and person. I'm going to miss you, patteeu.

This might be HOC worthy.
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Old 05-01-2021, 05:37 AM   #1012
Katipan Katipan is offline
MER
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Colorado
He has 2 daughters?
Posts: 22,662
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Old 05-01-2021, 05:42 AM   #1013
headsnap headsnap is offline
"Think ZOOM!"
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Space Station #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raiderhader View Post
This might be HOC worthy.
Might?
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Old 05-01-2021, 05:54 AM   #1014
Raiderhater Raiderhater is offline
**** the Raiders
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: A Webb of chaos
Quote:
Originally Posted by headsnap View Post
Might?
I’m a fan of understating things. I blame my British ancestry.
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Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Raiderhater is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-01-2021, 06:10 AM   #1015
dirk digler dirk digler is offline
Please squeeze
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Clinton, MO
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoopsdoc View Post
Wait, so the op wasn’t actually Pat?

Wow. You guys did a great job impersonating his style. I really thought it was him.

Rest In Peace, Patteau. You will be missed.
Couldn't have said it better myself. They got me but it was awesome.
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Old 05-01-2021, 06:22 AM   #1016
DaFace DaFace is offline
Kind of a mod
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Donkey Land
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
We'd like to thank everyone for participating in patteeu's "leaving forever" thread.

Here’s the story: patteeu had a terminal illness and knew that his remaining time was short. He joked with a few of us who knew him about how it would be funny to post a "leaving forever" thread once he could no longer post. After he passed away, we thought it would be a nice tribute to give him that wish, so we impersonated him as a one-time thing to make this thread. We apologize for the temporary subterfuge, but wanted to give him a grand and sincere 1,000 post departure to push his Viking ship from the shore. Thanks for making it a great one! It was a perfect “leaving forever” thread.

We'll post a traditional RIP thread now, and salute an all-time great poster and person. I'm going to miss you, patteeu.
Out of curiosity, did he provide the copy for the OP (or a part of it) or just the general idea to do it? Even having insider knowledge of the situation, it read like something he would post.
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Old 05-01-2021, 06:51 AM   #1017
InChiefsHeaven InChiefsHeaven is offline
Rockin' yer FACE OFF!
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Wow. You guys. This might be the most epic thing ever on CP. God Bless Pat...
Posts: 25,749
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Old 05-01-2021, 07:05 AM   #1018
stevieray stevieray is online now
best in the biz
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Under Pressure
I don't find it epic at all.

I find it extremely sad.

Social media isn't social.

It's virtual.


RIP, brother.

Thankful I had the good fortune of meeting you in person.
Posts: 71,252
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Old 05-01-2021, 07:11 AM   #1019
SuperBowl4 SuperBowl4 is offline
MVP
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: HERMOSA BEACH,CA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pawnmower View Post
patteau = Kaitlyn jenners vag
The post that made it 1,000
Posts: 13,576
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Old 05-01-2021, 07:50 AM   #1020
BigRedChief BigRedChief is online now
Has a particular set of skills
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: On the water
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevieray View Post
I don't find it epic at all.

I find it extremely sad.

Social media isn't social.

It's virtual.


RIP, brother.

Thankful I had the good fortune of meeting you in person.
It was Patteeu's idea when he knew the end was near. It worked out really well. It was fun. Didnt come off as a scam.He was leaving forever. He would have loved it.
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