When do you have a "talk" with your child's Coach?

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by kcclone

You want to have a convo with the coach after one game? I think you need to ride this out a little and see if it's a pattern. If it is, it probably means the coach doesn't think he's cut out for that level of competition,and doesn't trust him to play in certain situations.

Either way, competitive teams are in the business of winning, and they're always looking to improve. There are two ways to do that: You can add better players, or you can cut the kids on the bottom of the roster. But that goes with the territory of "competitive". If that's too harsh, try to find a good rec team instead.

As someone who's done a ton of youth sports coaching, my philosophy is that it's better to be a top half roster player, in a little lower division, than a player who rides pine because the coach doesn't think he's good enough. So maybe finding a new team next season if he's discouraged is a better strategy.

Becoming "that guy" is a lose-lose situation for you and your kid. Even if the coach isn't the greatest (he's 22 years old, what can you expect?), he will view you as a problem if you get noisy, and unless your kid is one of the top on the team, he's not going to do you any favors or go out of his way to keep him in the future.

I head an AD one time say that every year, he gets several calls right after cuts for soccer, baseball, basketball etc.

The parents all more or less ask "You mean to tell me that my kid who's played club baseball for the past 12 years isn't good enough to make the team???"

His answer is "Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you".

My point with that story is that in sports, the cream always rises to the top. The further you go in sports, the closer you'll be getting to his ceiling where your kid isn't good enough. For some select few, with the right genetics, that can be in the professional or college ranks. For most, it's in the 6-14 year old range. It is what it is.

Let it play out. Don't make a big deal out of it. Help your kid have fun, and if there isn't playing time on this team, I'd try to find a different team.

It has been more than one game. I have been to every practice and every game. I see what goes on and who is good, who isn't, who can follow directions, who can't, etc. The bottom line on this Coach is he is out to win at all costs and doesn't realize he is dealing with a division 4 team of 8 year olds.

To give you an idea of how he approaches things, he spent 20 minutes tonight lecturing the boys on how there are 4 ways to learn things. Meanwhile, the Coach of the team we were scrimmaging against pulled his subs back on the field and ran drills because he got tired of our Coach not getting the players on the field to play.

Also, our Coach has a team a year younger than us, 7 year olds, that have to play against 8 year olds. They lost a game 17-1. The next practice he lectured them for 40 minutes then made them run lines 17 times. Not sure how much you have dealt with young kids but you'll get further watching paint dry than you will with lecturing 7 year olds for 40 minutes.

[kcclone]

Originally Posted by petegz28

It has been more than one game. I have been to every practice and every game. I see what goes on and who is good, who isn't, who can follow directions, who can't, etc. The bottom line on this Coach is he is out to win at all costs and doesn't realize he is dealing with a division 4 team of 8 year olds.

To give you an idea of how he approaches things, he spent 20 minutes tonight lecturing the boys on how there are 4 ways to learn things. Meanwhile, the Coach of the team we were scrimmaging against pulled his subs back on the field and ran drills because he got tired of our Coach not getting the players on the field to play.

Also, our Coach has a team a year younger than us, 7 year olds, that have to play against 8 year olds. They lost a game 17-1. The next practice he lectured them for 40 minutes then made them run lines 17 times. Not sure how much you have dealt with young kids but you'll get further watching paint dry than you will with lecturing 7 year olds for 40 minutes.

Sounds like he's an ass. Not sure there is a good answer, other than trying to find a better coaching fit next season. Still, it's a lose-lose situation to get too involved.

My only other advice, is to back off a little and let your kid breathe. Going to every practice seems a little helipcopter'ish for second graders who have been playing for more than a couple of years.

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by kcclone

Sounds like he's an ass. Not sure there is a good answer, other than trying to find a better coaching fit next season. Still, it's a lose-lose situation to get too involved.

My only other advice, is to back off a little and let your kid breathe. Going to every practice seems a little helipcopter'ish for second graders who have been playing for more than a couple of years.

Meh, I go because by the time I would drop him off and then come home, I would be just going right back. Plus I play the surrogate Parent in helping kids get to Goal Keeper training or giving rides, etc. Other Parents come too but they either go walking around, which I do sometimes or sit in their cars. Plus, I never played soccer so it's a good learning experience for me as well and I can see what the Coach is doing so I know how to help my kid when he practices at home.

But I would say he is a bit of an ass, but maybe not intentionally. The last tournament we were in we lost every game and all he could do after every game was yell at the kids. He doesn't do a lot to build up their desire to play the game.