What is your best life advice?

[TLO]

I'm sure we'll get a mix bag of things here, but I'm interested that if you knew you'd be passing away soon, what life advice would you give someone if you asked?

[stumppy]

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch

Wife once advised me “happy wife happy life”

I advised her not to say that again and she didn’t.

My wife tried to pull that same shit on me. I said how'd you like to not see me for awhile. About a week later swelling went down enough in that right eye where she could see me again.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Pablo

Keep your whiskey and your house neat.

Every piece of ass you pass up is one you'll want back.

i don't regret any of the women i've ****ed, but i regret every single one i didn't ****

[Easy 6]

The answer is always yes, your ass looks fat honey

[MarkDavis'Haircut]

Don't give out piggyback rides if you are on a date.

[Jewish Rabbi]

Originally Posted by MarkDavis'Haircut

Don't give out piggyback rides if you are on a date.

Go for the Groupon helicopter ride instead

[MarkDavis'Haircut]

Originally Posted by Jewish Rabbi

Go for the Groupon helicopter ride instead

And hire a car named Philip to go to Branson to ride the ducks.

[MarkDavis'Haircut]

Most important lesson: Don't lie about going to Belize to a football message board.

[Jewish Rabbi]

Originally Posted by MarkDavis'Haircut

And hire a car named Philip to go to Branson to ride the ducks.

Lmao I forgot about that ****in pos car

[Talisman]

In marriage, arguments are a given. You are going to get in these tug of war fights. Some advice I was given recently was drop the rope. Even when you"win" an argument with your spouse, you've lost.

And one for those with young kids... Put the phone down and get down on the floor with them. Kick the ball around. Jump on the trampoline with them. It won't be long before they are sitting around on their phones and that time will be lost.

[smith11]

Originally Posted by Talisman

In marriage, arguments are a given. You are going to get in these tug of war fights. Some advice I was given recently was drop the rope. Even when you"win" an argument with your spouse, you've lost.

And one for those with young kids... Put the phone down and get down on the floor with them. Kick the ball around. Jump on the trampoline with them. It won't be long before they are sitting around on their phones and that time will be lost.

JFK Jrs' last word "Hay Carolyn, watch me do a loop to loop"

[Rasputin]

Always take advice from guys on a football internet forum.

[Rausch]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

i don't regret any of the women i've ****ed, but i regret every single one i didn't ****

Want less - help more.

[InChiefsHeaven]

Choose Well
Cuz you're running out of time to get it right
Choose Well
Arm yourself it's gonna be a helluva fight
Choose Well
Surround yourself with the real light of Truth
Choose Well
Get your strength from the One who chose you
- Headstrong

[Rausch]

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run—
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

[BigOlChiefsfan]

Keep your carry knife REALLY sharp.
Buy low, sell high.
Always hold the door for a lady. Even if you know she's a no good suck slut. When she notices you holding the door, she might show you that whole suck slut thang.