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**Bob Dole** · 09-17-2001, 11:07 AM

Bob Dole has previously posted about Bob Dole's encounter with Joe Montana in the men's room at Tom Fooleries on the Plaza in KC. Though uneventful, it's been a fairly decent story for quite a few years.

Until today, Bob Dole didn't really think much about the circumstances, but now Bob Dole is concerned that perhaps some sort of strange karma-thing is making itself felt.

Bob Dole was in the men's room across the hall from Bob Dole's office about 10 minutes ago, disposing of the last 2 pots of black coffee. A typical run-of-the-mill everyday occurance that Bob Dole is certain many of the people on here have in common.

Anyway, as with the Joe Montana story, the door opens and Bob Dole turns to look (without coughing, thank you) and Ross Perot strolls in and steps up to the urinal next to Bob Dole.

This makes 2 urinal encounters, and Bob Dole is wondering WTF is up with that?

Besides the connection with the previous encounter, this story is only bettered by the fact that Mr. Perot proceeded to do his best impression of General Colon Bowel barking out orders. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the very wealthy are apparently afflicted with flatulence now and again.

Unbelievable.

(And if anyone has any thoughts on why Bob Dole seems to be destined for a life of strange urinal encounters, feel free to jump in and explain...)

BigOlChiefsfan · 09-17-2001, 03:25 PM

My favorite was Karate Class. Kata practice, a roomful of teenagers kicking and punching the air in unison, sensei walking back and forth and watching 'em.

"EeeeeYAH"
"EeeeeYAH"
"EeeeeYAH"
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAATPFPFPFFT

Silence. Then Sensei said "Someone is ah...working much too hard"

seclark · 09-17-2001, 03:26 PM

my sister in law let one rip one time in a burger king in omaha. you could hear that bad-boy 35feet away. and she looked real innocent and says to everybody around, "oooh...excuse me!".
have you ever heard anything so crazy?
sec
~always blames someone else

**Baby Lee** · 09-17-2001, 03:30 PM

Did anyone see the Jacka$$ when Johnny Knoxville went into a yoga class with some kind of fart noise machine?

Vindicator · 09-17-2001, 03:32 PM

Vindicator lives near Pahrump, Nv....................upwind, thanks

KS Smitty · 09-17-2001, 03:32 PM

The Mrs. frequently refers to Smitty as a fart noise (and stink) machine.

KS Smitty · 09-17-2001, 03:35 PM

What I call him is a stinking a$$hole.

(j/k)

Hydrae · 09-17-2001, 03:41 PM

Instead of the famous farting how about a man who became famous for farting on stage? I don't know how many of you have ever heard of Le Petomane but here is a link. I originally found out about this reading one of the Uncle John's Bathroom Readers. If you are unfamiliar with these books, you should look for them the next time you are at the bookstore, they are great for just that...reading while sitting and taking care of personal business!

http://www.retroactive.com/jan98/petomane.html

Joe Seahawk · 09-17-2001, 05:19 PM

http://www.softycentral.com/ssnds200...7.pmfinger.ram

WarCry! · 09-17-2001, 05:39 PM

Here's an old college fart story:
We were in chemistry class one day (the prof was a little bit hard of hearing and had a hearing aid). The prof was facing the chalkboard writing down some notes when a classmate ripped a loud one off the wooden desk chair. The class erupted into laughter when the prof turned around as serious as could be and asked "did somebody have a question?" LOL

Multi1 · 09-17-2001, 06:50 PM

Some people believe that a Chief can break wind on command, Joe Montana may have proved that. I can't talk about Ross.

Bob - You may just want to stay out of the john! Have you tried the back tire of a Raider fan?

Frazod · 09-17-2001, 06:57 PM

Okay, you asked for it. Here is my greatest fart story.

I was at the movies with my former wife and a Navy buddy. We were watching Clint Eastwood's Heartbreak Ridge. This is a military movie, and as we were in Norfolk, the theater was packed.

Anyway, I cut the most vile, noxious, deadly green fog fart in the history of the universe right in the middle of the theater. It was a silent killer, though. I waited about five seconds, then stood up, looked at my wife and exclaimed "G#DDAMN!" and then moved to another seat. And my buddy moved with me.

She didn't speak to me for three days....

BigOlChiefsfan · 09-17-2001, 07:27 PM

I just hope Bob Dole never meets the current president of Russia in a men's room. I can see Bob Dole's tale now.

"Tootin' with Putin".

**Rain Man** · 09-17-2001, 08:21 PM

I'm incredibly embarrassed and ashamed that I'm laughing at this stuff.

CHIEF4EVER · 03-04-2003, 03:06 PM

Sorry, I couldn't resist. I'll share a story (albeit a bit late).

When I was stationed in Berlin, we had an annual NCO call at the NCO club and the Commanding General was the guest speaker. All the NCOs were seated in a U shape facing the middle and my best friend Jerry was seated next to me. Jerry had a habit of being a bit of a prankster when drinking and by the time the colors were brought in he was 2 sheets to the wind. At the announcement of the General the command "Present Arms" was given. In response to the command we all snapped off a sharp salute and Jerry simultaneously snapped off the positively loudest butt explosion I think I have ever heard. The funniest part was that nobody dared smile or even smirk although the natural reaction was to belly laugh. The SGT Major and General never missed a beat although the SGT Major was eying the assembled NCOs trying to discover the offender. After NCO call Jerry and I laughed outside the club for at least a half hour.

HC_Chief · 03-04-2003, 03:08 PM

Should have turned in his direction and peed on the top of his crazy little munchkin head.

09-17-2001, 11:07 AM
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas	Brush with the Famous, Part II Bob Dole has previously posted about Bob Dole's encounter with Joe Montana in the men's room at Tom Fooleries on the Plaza in KC. Though uneventful, it's been a fairly decent story for quite a few years. Until today, Bob Dole didn't really think much about the circumstances, but now Bob Dole is concerned that perhaps some sort of strange karma-thing is making itself felt. Bob Dole was in the men's room across the hall from Bob Dole's office about 10 minutes ago, disposing of the last 2 pots of black coffee. A typical run-of-the-mill everyday occurance that Bob Dole is certain many of the people on here have in common. Anyway, as with the Joe Montana story, the door opens and Bob Dole turns to look (without coughing, thank you) and Ross Perot strolls in and steps up to the urinal next to Bob Dole. This makes 2 urinal encounters, and Bob Dole is wondering WTF is up with that? Besides the connection with the previous encounter, this story is only bettered by the fact that Mr. Perot proceeded to do his best impression of General Colon Bowel barking out orders. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the very wealthy are apparently afflicted with flatulence now and again. Unbelievable. (And if anyone has any thoughts on why Bob Dole seems to be destined for a life of strange urinal encounters, feel free to jump in and explain...)
Posts: 50,201

09-17-2001, 03:25 PM	#46
BigOlChiefsfan Certified Bourbon taster BigOlChiefsfan's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Shawnee KS	My favorite was Karate Class. Kata practice, a roomful of teenagers kicking and punching the air in unison, sensei walking back and forth and watching 'em. "EeeeeYAH" "EeeeeYAH" "EeeeeYAH" BRAAAAAAAAAAAAATPFPFPFFT Silence. Then Sensei said "Someone is ah...working much too hard"
Posts: 5,126

09-17-2001, 03:26 PM	#47
seclark MVP seclark's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: nemo	my sister in law let one rip one time in a burger king in omaha. you could hear that bad-boy 35feet away. and she looked real innocent and says to everybody around, "oooh...excuse me!". have you ever heard anything so crazy? sec ~always blames someone else
Posts: 13,438

09-17-2001, 03:30 PM	#48
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000	Did anyone see the Jacka$$ when Johnny Knoxville went into a yoga class with some kind of fart noise machine?
Posts: 95,642

09-17-2001, 03:32 PM	#49
Vindicator Starter Vindicator's Avatar Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada	Vindicator lives near Pahrump, Nv....................upwind, thanks
Posts: 184

09-17-2001, 03:32 PM	#50
KS Smitty Cool as a Cucumber KS Smitty's Avatar Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: on the edge	The Mrs. frequently refers to Smitty as a fart noise (and stink) machine.
Posts: 3,823

09-17-2001, 03:35 PM	#51
KS Smitty Cool as a Cucumber KS Smitty's Avatar Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: on the edge	Mrs Smitty Here!!! What I call him is a stinking a$$hole. (j/k)
Posts: 3,823

09-17-2001, 03:41 PM	#52
Hydrae MVP Hydrae's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Newport, Or	Instead of the famous farting how about a man who became famous for farting on stage? I don't know how many of you have ever heard of Le Petomane but here is a link. I originally found out about this reading one of the Uncle John's Bathroom Readers. If you are unfamiliar with these books, you should look for them the next time you are at the bookstore, they are great for just that...reading while sitting and taking care of personal business! http://www.retroactive.com/jan98/petomane.html
Posts: 14,762

09-17-2001, 05:19 PM	#53
Joe Seahawk This place entertains.. Joe Seahawk's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Seattle	http://www.softycentral.com/ssnds200...7.pmfinger.ram
Posts: 5,509

09-17-2001, 05:39 PM	#54
WarCry! YES, I AM a WOMAN... Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wichita	Here's an old college fart story: We were in chemistry class one day (the prof was a little bit hard of hearing and had a hearing aid). The prof was facing the chalkboard writing down some notes when a classmate ripped a loud one off the wooden desk chair. The class erupted into laughter when the prof turned around as serious as could be and asked "did somebody have a question?" LOL
Posts: 110

09-17-2001, 06:50 PM	#55
Multi1 Banned Join Date: Aug 2000	Some people believe that a Chief can break wind on command, Joe Montana may have proved that. I can't talk about Ross. Bob - You may just want to stay out of the john! Have you tried the back tire of a Raider fan?
Posts: 168

09-17-2001, 06:57 PM	#56
Frazod WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Frazod's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000	Okay, you asked for it. Here is my greatest fart story. I was at the movies with my former wife and a Navy buddy. We were watching Clint Eastwood's Heartbreak Ridge. This is a military movie, and as we were in Norfolk, the theater was packed. Anyway, I cut the most vile, noxious, deadly green fog fart in the history of the universe right in the middle of the theater. It was a silent killer, though. I waited about five seconds, then stood up, looked at my wife and exclaimed "G#DDAMN!" and then moved to another seat. And my buddy moved with me. She didn't speak to me for three days....
Posts: 120,261

09-17-2001, 07:27 PM	#57
BigOlChiefsfan Certified Bourbon taster BigOlChiefsfan's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Shawnee KS	I just hope Bob Dole never meets the current president of Russia in a men's room. I can see Bob Dole's tale now. "Tootin' with Putin".
Posts: 5,126

09-17-2001, 08:21 PM	#58
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Rain Man's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house	I'm incredibly embarrassed and ashamed that I'm laughing at this stuff.
Posts: 143,185

03-04-2003, 03:06 PM	#59
CHIEF4EVER Just a man in the 'ghan CHIEF4EVER's Avatar Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Jalalabad, Afghanistan	Sorry, I couldn't resist. I'll share a story (albeit a bit late). When I was stationed in Berlin, we had an annual NCO call at the NCO club and the Commanding General was the guest speaker. All the NCOs were seated in a U shape facing the middle and my best friend Jerry was seated next to me. Jerry had a habit of being a bit of a prankster when drinking and by the time the colors were brought in he was 2 sheets to the wind. At the announcement of the General the command "Present Arms" was given. In response to the command we all snapped off a sharp salute and Jerry simultaneously snapped off the positively loudest butt explosion I think I have ever heard. The funniest part was that nobody dared smile or even smirk although the natural reaction was to belly laugh. The SGT Major and General never missed a beat although the SGT Major was eying the assembled NCOs trying to discover the offender. After NCO call Jerry and I laughed outside the club for at least a half hour.
Posts: 13,670

03-04-2003, 03:08 PM	#60
HC_Chief That's just f***in' stupid HC_Chief's Avatar Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: suburbia	Should have turned in his direction and peed on the top of his crazy little munchkin head.
Posts: 12,355