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Old 04-28-2021, 10:46 PM  
patteeu patteeu is offline
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I’m leaving forever.
Seriously, I am.


I know what you’re thinking. Maybe I got annoyed by something someone said. Maybe after two Super Bowls in a row I’m satiated on the Chiefs. Maybe I’m going to prison, or joining Dick Cheney on a barnstorming tour, or maybe the antifreeze actually wasn’t a good idea and I died.

The fun of a farewell forever thread is not in knowing the reason. It’s in not knowing, and the mystery behind the disappearance. MrBlond is legendary not because he was here or because he left, but rather because of how he departed. He was DB Cooper jumping out of the Chiefsplanet plane and disappearing into the night, and with that act he became immortal.

It is now my time to parachute from the plane, and I can assure you that I will not return. It would be enjoyable to become an unsolved Chiefsplanet mystery in the process, but I can’t do that to you. It’s cruel enough that you will no longer get to read my thoughtful prose and learn from my wisdom. I can’t allow you to speculate forever about what became of me, and to always wonder if that guy with the fake glasses and mustache sitting next to you at the game is me.

So I’ve instructed one Chiefsplanet member to reveal the mystery. If this thread ever reaches 1,000 posts, that person will share the reason. But until then, you will have only my boarding pass, a flight attendant’s vague description, and 110,871 posts to remember me by.

Farewell, Chiefsplanet!

(Sound of wind rushing past an open passenger cabin door.)

Last edited by DaFace; 05-18-2021 at 03:00 PM..
Posts: 110,871
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:35 AM   #496
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghak99 View Post
I like these leaving forever threads. They make my groin tingle
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:36 AM   #497
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Cream?
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:36 AM   #498
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:36 AM   #499
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Captain, how soon can you land?
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:36 AM   #500
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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I can't tell.
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:36 AM   #501
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:37 AM   #502
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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No. I mean I'm just not sure.
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:37 AM   #503
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Well, can't you take a guess?
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:37 AM   #504
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Well, not for another two hours.
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:37 AM   #505
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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You can't take a guess for another two hours?
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:38 AM   #506
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:38 AM   #507
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Shiiit, man. That honky mofo messin' mah old lady - got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know?
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Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:38 AM   #508
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:38 AM   #509
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Hey, home', I can dig it. Know ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap-up on you, man.
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Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bugeater is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 04-30-2021, 11:38 AM   #510
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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I say hey, sky. Subba say I wan' see...
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