...

Frankie · 09-25-2005, 09:00 AM

Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.

Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts.

Frankie · 10-19-2005, 01:51 PM

How to say 'I love you' in 25 languages.....

Spanish
Te Amo

French
Je T'aime

German
lch Liebe Dich

Japanese
Ai Shite Imasu

Farsi
Doostet Dahram

Thai
Phom rak khun

Italian
Ti amo

Chinese
Wo Ai Ni

Swedish
Jag Alskar

Alabama
Arkansas
Oklahoma
Texas
North Carolina
South Carolina
Georgia
Tennessee
Idaho
Mississippi
Montana
Louisiana
Virginia
West Virginia
Kentucky
parts of Florida
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nice Ass , Get in the truck

greg63 · 10-19-2005, 11:23 PM

Errrrrrrrr, screeeeeeetch, Errrrrrrrr, screeeeeeetch, Errrrrrrrr, screeeeeeetch!!! - …A blond driving through a flashing red light.

KChiefsQT · 10-19-2005, 11:54 PM

There was an 80 year old female virgin who started to feel itchy down south.....

So she decided to go see a doctor. The first doctor examined her and said.. I'm sorry ma'am but it looks like you have a nice case of crabs. The woman is appauled as she has never been with a man before... so she gets up and leaves to get a seocnd opinion.

The next doctor tells her the same thing.. she explains to him she's never had sex before so this is impossible and goes to a third doctor for a final opinion.

The third doctor examines her, Is clearly disgusted at what he sees and then tells her. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you do not have crabs. The bad news is your cooch is infested with fruit flies, ma'am your cherry has rotted.

Ooops... was this supposed to be a clean jokes only threeaD??? MY BAD!

Simplex3 · 10-19-2005, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kchiefsqt

There was an 80 year old female virgin who started to feel itchy down south.....

So she decided to go see a doctor. The first doctor examined her and said.. I'm sorry ma'am but it looks like you have a nice case of crabs. The woman is appauled as she has never been with a man before... so she gets up and leaves to get a seocnd opinion.

The next doctor tells her the same thing.. she explains to him she's never had sex before so this is impossible and goes to a third doctor for a final opinion.

The third doctor examines her, Is clearly disgusted at what he sees and then tells her. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you do not have crabs. The bad news is your cooch is infested with fruit flies, ma'am your cherry has rotted.

Ooops... was this supposed to be a clean jokes only threeaD??? MY BAD!

joesomebody · 10-20-2005, 07:55 AM

Friendship among women:A woman doesn't come home one night.The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friends house. The man calls his wife's ten best friends. None of them know about it.

Friendship among men:A man doesn't come home one night.The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friends house. The woman calls her husbands ten best friends. Eight of them say he did sleep over and two claim he's still there.

joesomebody · 10-20-2005, 07:56 AM

THREE WOMEN -- ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY --
WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND.

THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED.
THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.
"THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID.
" I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG.
THE JAPANESE WOMEN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR.
WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED,
"THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."

THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH.
NOT TO BE OUTDONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE.

SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.
SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER BEHIND. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.
THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FINALLY SAID,
"WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT.
I'M GETTIN' A FAX."

Edubs · 10-20-2005, 08:32 AM

Billy Bob and Billy Joe were sitting on Billy Bob's front porch and Billy Joe said "I am bored, let's play a game."
Billy Bob said "Ok, I am going to think of something and you guess what I am thinking about."
Billy Bob took about two seconds and decided on Donkey Dick.
Billy Bob said "Ok, I am ready."
Billy Joe said "Is it Donkey Dick?"

**Saulbadguy** · 10-20-2005, 04:27 PM

Big breasted women work at Hooters...

So where does a one legged woman work?

IHOP

Frankie · 10-20-2005, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saulbadguy

Big breasted women work at Hooters...

So where does a one legged woman work?

IHOP

I think someone else told us this one earlier.

But you say it with panache!

**RealSNR** · 10-22-2005, 06:05 PM

Q: How many menopausal women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six. It's just that way, okay? Drop it!

**RealSNR** · 10-22-2005, 06:08 PM

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 15. One to change it and the other fourteen to drink until the room starts spinning

**RealSNR** · 10-22-2005, 06:09 PM

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb must want to change first

greg63 · 10-22-2005, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR

Q: How many menopausal women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six. It's just that way, okay? Drop it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 15. One to change it and the other fourteen to drink until the room starts spinning

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb must want to change first

Priceless

Frankie · 10-24-2005, 11:53 AM

A circus fell on hard times and had to sell its animals. The lion tamer was left with just one potential trainee--a bassett hound. Fortunately, the dog quickly learned the act. There was just one problem: the trainer could not put his head in the dog's mouth because it was too small. He solved that by sticking his foot in.

On opening night, the crowd, which had never seen such an act, went wild. "Encore, encore!" the crowd yelled.

The trainer had not considered an encore, and improvised by sticking his second foot in the dog's mouth. Choking, the bassett panicked and bit off the trainer's feet.

The moral: Don't put all your legs in one bassett.

**Lzen** · 10-24-2005, 12:37 PM

A pic of Hurricane Wilma

09-25-2005, 09:00 AM
Frankie Banned Frankie's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2001	Clean jokes can be funny too! Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them. Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts. Last edited by Frankie; 07-10-2011 at 05:17 PM..
Posts: 26,959

10-19-2005, 01:51 PM	#151
Frankie Banned Frankie's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2001	How to say 'I love you' in 25 languages..... Spanish Te Amo French Je T'aime German lch Liebe Dich Japanese Ai Shite Imasu Farsi Doostet Dahram Thai Phom rak khun Italian Ti amo Chinese Wo Ai Ni Swedish Jag Alskar Alabama Arkansas Oklahoma Texas North Carolina South Carolina Georgia Tennessee Idaho Mississippi Montana Louisiana Virginia West Virginia Kentucky parts of Florida . . . . . . . Nice Ass , Get in the truck
Posts: 26,959

10-19-2005, 11:23 PM	#152
greg63 Homer go crazy!!! greg63's Avatar Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: SE Kansas	Errrrrrrrr, screeeeeeetch, Errrrrrrrr, screeeeeeetch, Errrrrrrrr, screeeeeeetch!!! - …A blond driving through a flashing red light.
Posts: 17,619

10-19-2005, 11:54 PM	#153
KChiefsQT Kara G! KChiefsQT's Avatar Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: California	There was an 80 year old female virgin who started to feel itchy down south..... So she decided to go see a doctor. The first doctor examined her and said.. I'm sorry ma'am but it looks like you have a nice case of crabs. The woman is appauled as she has never been with a man before... so she gets up and leaves to get a seocnd opinion. The next doctor tells her the same thing.. she explains to him she's never had sex before so this is impossible and goes to a third doctor for a final opinion. The third doctor examines her, Is clearly disgusted at what he sees and then tells her. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you do not have crabs. The bad news is your cooch is infested with fruit flies, ma'am your cherry has rotted. Ooops... was this supposed to be a clean jokes only threeaD??? MY BAD!
Posts: 4,070

10-20-2005, 07:55 AM	#155
joesomebody Waiting to be voted off joesomebody's Avatar Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Baltimore, MD	Friendship among women:A woman doesn't come home one night.The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friends house. The man calls his wife's ten best friends. None of them know about it. Friendship among men:A man doesn't come home one night.The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friends house. The woman calls her husbands ten best friends. Eight of them say he did sleep over and two claim he's still there.
Posts: 2,584

10-20-2005, 07:56 AM	#156
joesomebody Waiting to be voted off joesomebody's Avatar Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Baltimore, MD	THREE WOMEN -- ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY -- WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. " I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM." A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE WOMEN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND." THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER BEHIND. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FINALLY SAID, "WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT. I'M GETTIN' A FAX."
Posts: 2,584

10-20-2005, 08:32 AM	#157
Edubs Say what? Edubs's Avatar Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Shaaaaaawnee	Billy Bob and Billy Joe were sitting on Billy Bob's front porch and Billy Joe said "I am bored, let's play a game." Billy Bob said "Ok, I am going to think of something and you guess what I am thinking about." Billy Bob took about two seconds and decided on Donkey Dick. Billy Bob said "Ok, I am ready." Billy Joe said "Is it Donkey Dick?"
Posts: 391

10-20-2005, 04:27 PM	#158
Saulbadguy When a nightmare becomes real Saulbadguy's Avatar Join Date: Nov 2003	Big breasted women work at Hooters... So where does a one legged woman work? IHOP
Posts: 46,971

10-22-2005, 06:05 PM	#160
RealSNR Special Teams ACE!!! RealSNR's Avatar Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Where the hell is SNR	Q: How many menopausal women does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Six. It's just that way, okay? Drop it!
Posts: 90,706

10-22-2005, 06:08 PM	#161
RealSNR Special Teams ACE!!! RealSNR's Avatar Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Where the hell is SNR	Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 15. One to change it and the other fourteen to drink until the room starts spinning
Posts: 90,706

10-22-2005, 06:09 PM	#162
RealSNR Special Teams ACE!!! RealSNR's Avatar Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Where the hell is SNR	Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, but the lightbulb must want to change first
Posts: 90,706

10-24-2005, 11:53 AM	#164
Frankie Banned Frankie's Avatar Join Date: Jul 2001	A circus fell on hard times and had to sell its animals. The lion tamer was left with just one potential trainee--a bassett hound. Fortunately, the dog quickly learned the act. There was just one problem: the trainer could not put his head in the dog's mouth because it was too small. He solved that by sticking his foot in. On opening night, the crowd, which had never seen such an act, went wild. "Encore, encore!" the crowd yelled. The trainer had not considered an encore, and improvised by sticking his second foot in the dog's mouth. Choking, the bassett panicked and bit off the trainer's feet. The moral: Don't put all your legs in one bassett.
Posts: 26,959