Beards making a comeback?

[Holladay]

We all know that the men of the "CP" is defined by the persona of fat dudes, bald and a goatee and we drive Camaros (BTW, means it was found in a French-English dictionary to mean “friend, pal, or comrade and started with the first letter of "C" ala Chevy.)

I was in the Army, which didn't allow beards. I had a decent mustache that borderline out of specs. The GF liked the 'stache. I won't go into why

Flash forward a number of years and decided, while the wife and kids were away, to grow a beard. They walked past me when I was picking them up at KCI. Ball cap, red and black flannel shirt and...a beard. Not quite the Paul Bunyan look, but close.

My wife has never liked facial hair. Not sure why vs GF. I don't like to shave. But beards can be a bitch. ITCHY!

She has been gone for 5 months looking after her parents, so grew a beard I have found, with proper maintenance and beard butter, it is FUN.

Instead of contemplating my belly button, omphaloskepsis the proper term, I stroke my beard!

I bought one of those beard trimmers. It is a Wahl cordless with a ton of settings. I keep it ~ 3/4". I use beard balm to train it (I guess the proper term is to "sculpt it??). It also, as CPers would guess, it doubles to shave my head Better than the Horse Shears down at the barn.

I understand why women don't like razor stubble that can be en vogue . It is like sandpaper. Thus, grow it out a bit, use the beard butter to make it soft but not so long that I look like a Taliban terrorist or a ZZ Top musician, unless that is your look. No judgment here, just not for me. I don't like mice living in my face nor chicken soup. I drop enough ketchup from my fries on my shirt.

I think I have grown a nice pelt on my face that is soft and fun to omphaloskepsis. I can't trust MY hands to how it feels. So I did the cardinal sin of asking a good friends wife to touch/test it. "Dang that feels soft. How come my husbands beard doesn't feel that nice!" Luckily she looks like a Narwhale and has a gunt. I didn't tell him that though. Thinking about that, not sure if I should use her as a test dummy??

I was reading that beards are making a come back. Not wasting time shaving everyday, cost of blades, *cough* looking more masculine, et al. A segue, JD Vance is the first major nominee to have facial hair in 75 yrs (oops going to DC) Is it a trend? Starting or ending? Dunno.

In the end, the pelt is a keeper.

I am new to this, so what is the Mind Bending thoughts from the CP?

PS. I have a little vanity. I use a Salt and Pepper coloring mix so I don't look like Santa. Keep in mind, I have no hair (see above about Horse Shears) so that isn't in the equation.

[WhawhaWhat]

Originally Posted by Holladay

I think the stache is for wimps. Commit or don't.

[booger]

Also the Amish beard balm and a few drops of valvaline full synthetic mix that up for a good shine. WD40 works but you smell fish oil for days

[booger]

Originally Posted by philfree

My mom did not like beards. She looked at me when I started wearing a goatee and said that the facial hair made a mouth look like a butthole. Thanks, Mom! Miss you and RIP.

Bless her heart that’s hilarious! Wonderful sense of humor! Funny memories are a blessing
May she RIP

[Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan]

Outside of having to deal with an idiot Air Assault Corporal, I really didn't mind my time at the Air Assault School. Loved going Australian down the tower and finished the 12-mile ruck at the end in 2 hours, 10 min, which was pretty cool too, although my Plt. Leader bumped me at the finish line to ensure he would cross before I did (bastage). Luckily, one of the Sergeants spotted that so I got to watch the young lieutenant do push-ups while I sat in the shade. *grin*

Of course, as soon as I graduated, I forgot 90% of the stuff we'd been taught. My unit was never going to be air-assaulted anywhere (no one was going to tie up an entire squadron of Chinooks to lift a stinkin' platoon of M.I. weenies), so about all I remembered a month or so later was how to rappel and how to do the basic hand-signals to guide a helicopter in.

And the Air Assault Corporal met karma. One of the people he really targeted for abuse was an older officer going through the school. Turned out, the young corporal had an impacted wisdom tooth and the last thing he saw before the anesthesia took hold was that officer standing over him. He'd been throwing his weight around with the new Division oral surgeon. Apparently his wisdom tooth extraction didn't go well.

Originally Posted by Smed1065

Air assault was fun cept I always seemed to go upside down but was able to get upside right. Throwing humvees out of a plane was cool.

[Stewie]

Originally Posted by Holladay

Imagine Alexander the Great who was clean shaven without Gillette. That had to be painful and disciplined.

It's called obsidian and sharper than any Gillette. Been known for its cutting ability for millennia.