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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:19 PM   #241
ShortRoundChief ShortRoundChief is offline
Embrace the love
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Joplin
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
WebMD is a great website. It says you have 2 months to live before you die from AIDS but in reality all you have is an allergy problem
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:23 PM   #242
BeeHo BeeHo is offline
Starter
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: home
be one with the poop. then you can move the poop.
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BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.BeeHo is not part of the Right 53.
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:50 PM   #243
TimeForWasp TimeForWasp is offline
Sprinkle in some Mahomes
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Butte Montana
Didn't you lose a bet? Your username should be something shittier than the one you have.
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TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.TimeForWasp has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:01 PM   #244
LiveSteam LiveSteam is offline
The Constitutional Choo choo
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: homeof43conferencetitles
Clay ate a Dingo's bay-bay
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:02 PM   #245
LiveSteam LiveSteam is offline
The Constitutional Choo choo
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: homeof43conferencetitles
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post

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Good God man
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:05 PM   #246
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Did you cry?
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booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:06 PM   #247
SDChiefs SDChiefs is offline
Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Americas Finest City
it amazes me that your single.
Posts: 2,320
SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.SDChiefs would the whole thing.
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:30 PM   #248
TimBone TimBone is offline
Mostly Ignored
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
God damn it. I can't believe I actually just saw a picture of Clay's shit.
Posts: 18,096
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:37 PM   #249
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
King Shit of **** Mountain
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Nope, my diet is far from high in leafy greens.

Google says I either have Crohn's or my shit is just passing through my intestines too quickly.
Or you are drinking too much grape soda...
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:49 PM   #250
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
As it turns out taking too many laxatives in a 48-hour period can lead to some stomach discomfort. Oy vey.
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Old 05-20-2014, 06:04 AM   #251
loochy loochy is offline
Hey Loochy, I'm hooome!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post


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That's actually not as bad as I expected. I bet it was the consistency of a piece of rebar though. Did you cry when it came out? How's your butt? Did it tear?
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Old 05-20-2014, 06:06 AM   #252
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
why is the top of the turd folded over like a poop oragami?
Posts: 37,400
Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 06:13 AM   #253
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiefsNow View Post
Didn't you lose a bet? Your username should be something shittier than the one you have.
TP queen from the looks of it
Posts: 12,690
booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 05-20-2014, 07:14 AM   #254
srvy srvy is offline
Fight, build, win!
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: KC
Some of you shit gazers need to be passed out spoons. Sorta like the cream of mushroom soup vomit scene in The Great Santini

Come on grunts get on it.
Posts: 25,262
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Old 05-20-2014, 07:17 AM   #255
htismaqe htismaqe is online now
'Tis my eye!
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davechief View Post
I had the ol colonoscopy procedure done last year. Maybe you could get your doc to prescribe you some of the stuff they use for the prep. I swear I shit out stuff from the 70's after downing that.
He already used some, it's called magnesium citrate.
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