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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:43 PM   #331
Pepe Silvia Pepe Silvia is online now
MVP
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Gosh damn it why did I click on that?
Posts: 16,410
Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:44 PM   #332
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Sioux City, IA
Quote:
Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop View Post
No way am I opening that picture
Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
its pretty big, but its not as big as i expected
I did.

Just when you think you've seen it all on CP...
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ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:51 PM   #333
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Still bleeding man? Did that buttpon hold up? Really got to cram that sucker in there
Posts: 12,488
booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:52 PM   #334
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
All about that Paper Boi
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
its pretty big, but its not as big as i expected

Thaaaaat's what she said!
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ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 02:20 PM   #335
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
Unsparing
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Will...not...open.

I mean, I refuse to open.
Posts: 77,135
Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 03:59 PM   #336
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
Spiraling down the Drain
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dante's Ninth Circle
Thanks for the turd by turd updates
Posts: 31,617
BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 04:00 PM   #337
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
Unsparing
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
lol

This thread is wonderful.
Posts: 77,135
Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 04:48 PM   #338
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
I didn't shit today.

Posts: 276,597
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:00 PM   #339
Pasta Little Brioni Pasta Little Brioni is offline
Consuming CP souls
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: U.S.A.
More enjoyable...pooping or speed dating?
Posts: 68,019
Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:03 PM   #340
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by PGM View Post
More enjoyable...pooping or speed dating?
This thread was enjoyable.

Speed dating was like talking to what I shat out.
Posts: 276,597
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:14 PM   #341
loochy loochy is offline
Hey Loochy, I'm hooome!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
I didn't shit today.

Yeah, you're completely empty. There's nothing left.
Posts: 40,255
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:17 PM   #342
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
I'll be back.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
Yeah, you're completely empty. There's nothing left.
I ate food yesterday and today though.
Posts: 276,597
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:27 PM   #343
loochy loochy is offline
Hey Loochy, I'm hooome!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
I ate food yesterday and today though.
Adobe (/əˈdoʊbi/, UK /əˈdoʊb/,[1] Spanish pronunciation:*[aˈðoβe]; Arabic: الطوب) is the Spanish word for mud brick, a natural building material made from sand, clay, water, and some kind of fibrous or organic material (sticks, straw, and/or manure), usually shaped into bricks using molds and dried in the sun. Adobe buildings are similar to cob and rammed earth buildings, but cob and rammed earth are directly made into walls rather than bricks. The Romanian name for this material is chirpici.
Posts: 40,255
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 06:03 PM   #344
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
'Tis my eye!
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
I didn't shit today.

Make sure you're getting plenty of fluid. Once the magnesium citrate wears off, you'll end up right back where you started if you're not careful.
Posts: 100,022
htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 06:39 PM   #345
BigRedChief BigRedChief is online now
Has a particular set of skills
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: On the water
Quote:
Originally Posted by 505 Chief View Post
lol

This thread is wonderful.
Hall of Classics worthy? What say the Planet?
Posts: 78,721
BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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