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Old 04-12-2019, 11:51 AM   #2
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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That’s the best title they could come up with? Wasn’t Anakin the Rise of Skywalker?...
Don't you get it? It's supposed to be a "big mystery"! Is Ben Solo the "Skywalker" that is rising, or is it Rey?!

You see, Kylo Ben told Rey that her parents were nobodies, right? But we all know that in this "brave new world" of SW that the things people say don't really mean anything, they're just having some convos to kill the time between those sweet lightsaber fights and dumb bitches running around in purple hair blowing up star destroyers with hyperdrives, amirite?!?!?!

So, it's a pointless title with a pointless mystery intended to draw you to the theater one last time for a raping of your wallet, eyeballs, and brain matter.

And a dumbassed Emperor laugh at the end. Maybe HE'S the "rising Skywalker"!!!!

Or, or, maybe it's the force ghost of Anakin finally! The Ghost of Anakin Rises!

Or, maybe it's the Jedi themselves! Maybe Luke's force ghost comes back with Anakin's force ghost and they help Rey defeat Kylo and start a NEW JEDI ORDER!!!!


OH! THE POSSIBILITIES!!!!
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Old 04-15-2019, 07:47 PM   #3
WhiteWhale WhiteWhale is offline
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Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Hate View Post
Don't you get it? It's supposed to be a "big mystery"! Is Ben Solo the "Skywalker" that is rising, or is it Rey?!

You see, Kylo Ben told Rey that her parents were nobodies, right? But we all know that in this "brave new world" of SW that the things people say don't really mean anything, they're just having some convos to kill the time between those sweet lightsaber fights and dumb bitches running around in purple hair blowing up star destroyers with hyperdrives, amirite?!?!?!

So, it's a pointless title with a pointless mystery intended to draw you to the theater one last time for a raping of your wallet, eyeballs, and brain matter.

And a dumbassed Emperor laugh at the end. Maybe HE'S the "rising Skywalker"!!!!

Or, or, maybe it's the force ghost of Anakin finally! The Ghost of Anakin Rises!

Or, maybe it's the Jedi themselves! Maybe Luke's force ghost comes back with Anakin's force ghost and they help Rey defeat Kylo and start a NEW JEDI ORDER!!!!


OH! THE POSSIBILITIES!!!!
Didn't you like TLJ?
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:45 PM   #4
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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Didn't you like TLJ?
Initially. But then the warts starting pouring in along with the damage done to so many aspects of the franchise and characters that I wasn't noticing at the time. It was hard to see at first because these movies aren't meant to be taken too seriously. But then again, neither are they to be removed from the timeless hero arcs and classical influences that made the originals great.

Further blurring the view was the poor storytelling and too much reliance upon CGI of the prequels. When you place the two side by side, you have two examples of extreme turd polishing, both that are an affront to the OT.

Frankly, none of this shit should have ever happened. SW was just fine as three movies.
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Old 04-15-2019, 09:00 PM   #5
WhiteWhale WhiteWhale is offline
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Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Hate View Post
Initially. But then the warts starting pouring in along with the damage done to so many aspects of the franchise and characters that I wasn't noticing at the time. It was hard to see at first because these movies aren't meant to be taken too seriously. But then again, neither are they to be removed from the timeless hero arcs and classical influences that made the originals great.

Further blurring the view was the poor storytelling and too much reliance upon CGI of the prequels. When you place the two side by side, you have two examples of extreme turd polishing, both that are an affront to the OT.

Frankly, none of this shit should have ever happened. SW was just fine as three movies.
Yes.

I like the mythology. I don't care if they use it and revisit it for movies or TV shows or video games.

Just leave that story and those characters alone. It BARELY made it out of that ridiculous ewok debacle with it's OWN credibility in tact. XD I'm done. This movie can just disappear up the cultural zeitgeist's puckered anus.
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Old 04-15-2019, 09:11 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Hate View Post
these movies aren't meant to be taken too seriously. But then again, neither are they to be removed from the timeless hero arcs and classical influences that made the originals great.
Which is why The Mandalorian looks so good.
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Old 04-12-2019, 11:44 AM   #7
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Old 04-12-2019, 11:54 AM   #8
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The shitty, shitty possibilities...
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:15 PM   #9
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The shitty, shitty possibilities...
Rey is a secret Targaryen.
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:17 PM   #10
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Rey is a secret Targaryen.
Kylo is Rey's nephew
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:07 PM   #11
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I could deal with this if they resolved how Anakin-Rey were born. I'd love it even more if they went dark Harry Potter and Sheev Palpatine (The Senate), couldn't die while his creations are alive.

Kylo cutting down Rey would be a ballsy way to end the saga.
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:17 PM   #12
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This makes me think that Skywalker was a cloning project name where they tried to genetically create the greatest Jedi ever made starting with Anakin, since he didn't know who his father was (I believe Shmi didn't ever give the deets on that), enacted by the Jedi Order in secret and that's why Luke said it's time for the Jedi to fall. Anakin thought his last name was Skywalker so passed it onto his son, Luke ended up being the Jedi Order's answer to Darth Vader (luckily) and Rey was the last of the Skywalker line and her parent's were "nobodies". But even if that's somewhat correct, the title still makes no ****ing sense.
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:35 PM   #13
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So Kylo kills a Knight of Ren in the trailer stetting the stage for his completely unwarranted redemption. What colossal waste this trilogy is.

Also, one of the death stars ends up in an ocean. Isn't that nice.
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:47 PM   #14
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Old 04-12-2019, 01:00 PM   #15
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I'm pretty sure the teaser trailer for TLJ gave me a hard-on. I couldn't have been more hyped for a movie than I was for that one.

Then....well y'know.

I don't think there's any kind of trailer that could be released that would convince me to go see this in theaters. I'm just out.
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