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Kyle Shanahan walks onto the stage, wearing his trademarked flat-brim black 49ers hat. A distinguished 5 p.m. shadow doesn't hide his bloodshot eyes, or the drawn look in his face. His nose works frantically as he sniffs, wiping at it with the back of his hand. A faint trace of something white is seen on that hand as he places it in the pocket of his hoodie and steps to the podium.
"OK, (sniff), look. I'm gonna win one of these goddamned Super Bowls someday. Because my Dad told I could, all right? That it was my birth right. (Sniffs, wipes). We're better than you. That's why..."
Camera cuts to John Lynch in the audience, frantically signalling for Kyle to cut it out.
"All right, fine. I'll get on with it. Simms-y is waiting for me in the bathroom, anyway. We've got (sniff) to talk about stuff. (sniff)
With the 32nd pick in the 2024 NFL draft ... Wait, what? Oh, right. With the 31st pick in the 2024 NFL draft, the 2025 Super Bowl champion San Francisco 49ers select Jackson Powers-Johnson, IOL, Oregon.
Those mother****ing Kansas City Chiefs are on the clock!"
The camera cuts to Mike Shanahan in the audience, who visibly sighs and says something to his wife. Years later, a lip-reading expert would tell Kyle his father said: "I love him, but he is not... (deep sigh)... a serious person."
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