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New Chargers GM Joe Horitz strides onto the stage, wearing a pristine pinstriped suit. He looks around briefly before grabbing each pant leg with a hand. Suddenly, with a yank, rhetorical pinstriped suit pants rip away to reveal… a pristine pair of pleated khakis.
“Wooooooo! Hi, everyone. I’m glad to be with you. Let’s get it started and super-charge this process like Justin Herbert on 4th and forever …”
He pauses and presses a hand to his ear.
“I’m sorry, I meant to say let’s get it started and super-charge this process like a group of offensive linemen thundering down the field on a power trap run!
The Los Angeles Chargers select Joe Alt, OT, Notre Dame!!!”
Chugga chugga Choo Choo. Better get old the track cuz the train is a coming.”
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