Thread: Movies and TV Mind-blowing actor crossovers
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Old 03-15-2021, 01:00 PM   #68
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammock Parties View Post
I need the Frazod dressing down of all cinematic naval embarrassments.

And I need it now.
Okay.....

So Costner's character is the OOD (officer on deck) in charge of the bridge during a furious storm at night on the cruiser (destroyer?) USS Billings (BB 1649). The bow watch (a guy standing on the pointy end) gets washed over the side by a wave, and is left dangling by a rope against the side of the ship. Costner heroically leaves the bridge to lead the rescue party, which slips and slides it's way to the bow and rescues the hapless bow watch guy. Instant hero!

Where to start with this crap....

1. There is no USS Billings, and if there was, it would be a submarine.

2. "BB" is the designation for a battleship. None of them have 4-digit hull numbers. And they are named for states, not cities. And this ship WASN'T a battleship.

3. There are no "bow watches" in the modern navy. We have radar and sonar now. And what the hell is a bow watch going to see, at night, during a storm - mermaids? Give me a break. Also, during a storm, the weather decks (anything outside) are secured. You'd never have some guy attached to a rope standing outside in a storm anywhere, especially on the bow. ****.

4. The outer decks of modern ships are coated with non-skid, a course grippy material that provides traction for walking, and specifically guards against slipping and sliding. That's kind of a big deal on a ship rolling in the middle of the ****ing ocean.

5. No bridge officer, especially the one in charge, would EVER abandon his post for any reason. And definitely not in the middle of a ****ing storm. He would have been court-martialed for abandoning his post.

Everything about that scene was preposterous. I guess to the average person who doesn't know dick about the Navy, being at sea or being in a storm it wouldn't matter (this obviously includes the asshats who made this piece of crap), but I was in the Navy, have been at sea, and have been in real storms like that, and that scene basically rubbed shit in my face. It's the dumbest goddamn thing I've ever seen committed to film. It's worse than Signs. It's worse than Lynch's Dune.
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