41. Reaper16
Hey guess what? Did you know that there's more college football outside of Division I? Oh yeah! This shit is ****ing great, guys! You just have to get used to the unfamiliar assortment of schools and teams. It's practically the same thing!
Except the stadium environments. They all have tracks running around the field. Makes you feel like another terrible Saturday afternoon at Memorial Stadium in Lawrence.
And the mascots are really ****ing weird, but that's just something you have to get used to. It's just tradition, alright? The Eastern Alabama Institute for Massage Therapy Flaming Dildos proudly embrace the history behind the name, back when Dothan, AL was the country's leading manufacturer of flaming dildos as agricultural cultivators! It's not their fault that people now use them as raunchy sex toys!
The quality of football product is just as good! Dozens of them get cut from NFL training camp rosters every summer! And every once in awhile a school will see a star athlete who couldn't put down the goddamn crack pipe! So you see, it's just as good as the college football product that everybody watches!
Why, the Chiefs even drafted their only #1 overall pick in team history from Central Michigan, which isn't QUITE shitty enough to be a Division II school, but it's close!
....
Okay, I admit it. I'm a college instructor in Alabama, but I'm too much of a hipster to sell my soul to Auburn or yell ROLL TIDE! like a perpetually drunk hobo. Division II football is the only thing I have that allows me to wear thick-rimmed glasses without everybody thinking I'm gay.