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I shat a Kohl’s today—oh, boy
I’m a lucky man who laid the snake.
And though the stench was rather bad
Well, I just had to flush
I was in a rush.
I blew my ass out in a stall
But I still noticed that nice music played
I chose to squat instead of sit
I’d seen this place before
Nobody was there to see how clean that they had mopped the floor.
I wiped my ass today oh boy.
Someone else had left a pellet turd
In a stall that turned me off
But I just had to look
That dam bathroom crook
(refrain)
I should have flushed it down…
(Bridge)
Woke up, turned on the tube.
Rubbed one out without no lube.
Found my way downstairs and saw an ad.
Kohl’s has half-off coats. Not bad!
Ate granola. Off I went.
Felt an oncoming bowel event.
Found my way inside and towards the back.
The lighting was soft and I went into a stall.
(interlude)
Unh-ugh-ugh-ugh
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-aaah
I shat at Kohl’s today--oh, boy
Low background music and clean countertops.
I never sat down in the stall
I made a new poop thread
Now you know how nice it is to fill the toilet bowl at Kohl’s
I’d love to flush it down.
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