Originally Posted by Satan
In my line of work, I tend to favor stocks that would do well during the upcoming apocalypse.
McDonald’s - I mean the food is shit but I have no doubt they would somehow find a new menu item that hellish ghouls would buy and eat. The company is just that adaptable with an extremely successful history updating its menu and keeping it in sync with with current diet trends. Why not Chic Fillet? **** you, that's why.
Enterprise Products Partners LP - The great crude-oil rout that started in 2014 absolutely wreaked havoc on the aggressive MLPs that had used excessive debt to turbocharge their cash distribution growth. But Enterprise chose to be the tortoise rather than the hare. While peers like Kinder Morgan Inc and Energy Transfer Partners LP have had to either slash their payouts or resort to stealth cuts via questionable mergers, Enterprise has been plodding along just fine, raising its distribution by 5% to 6% every year like clockwork. Green energy can suck my ass.
3M - Few companies are more end-of-the-world-proof than 3M. IMHO It makes Scotch tape and Post-It notes, for crying out loud. And they are more than just that! They maintain a diversified product portfolio of office supplies, adhesives, filters, cleaning products and even medical supplies. Sounds weird in a post apocalyptic world but all of the diverse products have one thing in common: They tend to be basic staple products that are generally non-cyclical.
AND it’s a Dividend Aristocrat that has raised its paying for 59 consecutive years (and counting), and I expect many more years of dividend hikes to come. Do what you want with the dividend. I won't judge you if it's on hookers and blow. Hell, I'd insist on being included!
Berkshire Hathaway - I tried a little something out on all of you in 2008 and when it seemed the world was ending during the 2008 meltdown, storied companies like General Electric and Goldman Sachs had to go to Buffett with their dicks in their hands to ask for loans … and Buffett was able to deliver because Berkshire Hathaway was the only financial company strong enough to lend the money. Gotta caution you though. This comes with the risk of Buffett dying, which sadly I do not control. Berkshire Hathaway will no doubt lose some of it's clout. And I got a feeling that time is coming soon as we've been asked to prepare his room. So yea, that's risk but **** it man. I'm doing it anyway.
Apple - This probably seems like an odd choice for end of days, much less from ME (not a Mac guy). But just take a minute and look at their balance sheet. As of last quarter, they had $257 billion in cash and equivalents … more than a quarter of a trillion dollars. WHAT?! And they add to that gargantuan hoard every single day.
They are also doing everything they can to pull their high-end users deeper and deeper into there ecosystem. Do I think they will still be around 100 years from now? Probably not. By then, you will all be communicating telepathically via some contraption that Elon Musk invented from his laboratory on Mars. And, don't say anything, but he and are in discussions on a land deal there. BIG. Remember, keep this to yourselves.
National Retail Properties - Amazon is clearly a high risk to them but take a look at this shit: They have a portfolio of nearly 5,000 properties leased out to 250 tenants spread out across 49 states and Puerto Rico. And their largest tenant Walgreens accounts for less than 7% of its portfolio. Some of its largest tenants are gyms, movie theaters and convenience stores. Not a long term thing and I will monitor closely but I like this put.
I'm leveraged 60% to the above, and $40% to Bitcoin and Scientology equally.
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