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Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and
falling to sleep.
All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe
standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he
asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and
you are in heaven."
"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too
young," said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog
or a hen. The choice is your own."
Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is
too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around
with a rooster can't be that bad.
"I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken housen, really nicely
feathered.
But for some reason he felt like his rear end was gonna explode.
Then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told
me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?"
"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my butt is about to explode."
"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need
to lay an egg."
"How do I do that?" Tom asked. "Cluck twice, and then you push all
you can."
Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then
'plop' an egg was on the ground.
"Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!"
So he clucked again and squeezed.
And you better believe it, there was yet another egg on the ground.
The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Tom, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You've crapped in the bed.....!!!
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