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Old 03-23-2020, 11:23 AM   #196
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Utopia
Quote:
Originally Posted by seclark View Post
Right there between her feet where she stands doing the dishes.
She won’t forget.
sec

Sorry bud, you're ****ed.

Within the first year or two of brideowanian moving in I made a couple of miscalculations that still come up all the time, including this week.

For years as a bachelor I boiled eggs and I had done it a number of times in the microwave ina bowl of water. Brideowanian tells me I'm an idiot and that you can't do that. I respond that I'm a grown ass man with large hairy testicles, a master of fire and my domain...and that I can boil a damn egg any way I see fit. She retires upstairs to shower or something.

Place 6 eggs in water, place in microwave, set timer to 3 minutes....walk into other room.

BOOM!!
The house shakes.....massive noise comes from the kitchen. A foul, egg fart smell fogs through the house. I walk in.....the door is hanging off of the microwave, the entire kitchen looks like a suicide bomber hit the Humpty Dumpty family reunion. Eggs on the far wall, eggs on the ceiling. Don't ask me how,but it happensed.

She shouted down asking what in the hell that was and what the smell was....I say noting and scurry to try to hide the egg family corpses. It's no use. She gets down in time to see the destruction.

She will bitch at me during my funeral on that one.
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