Oral Sex Frequency
 

So I've seen many of you guys bitch about not getting blow jobs frequently.

How often do you get them? Or in katipan's/luv's/billay's case, how often do you give them?

Oral is part of foreplay for my wife and I so I get head just about every time before we ****. U jelly?

Haven't got one since 2013. Before that I got a partial blowie twice in 2012. Before that a handful of times in 2010.

You need to level up your talking to chicks skill tree.

I've tapped out for the next two years with the now ended conversation with a Tinder chick.

Because Discuss Thrower

Whenever I want. Why do you think I got married?

Where's the grape gatorade option?

Married? Is that what they're calling rib resection these days?

Often enough to make whatever guy I'm doing it to forget that I must have done it a bunch of other times too.

Well, the wife has been sick for a week so, that creates some noise in the dataset.

Did you ruin it by being a morose weirdo?

Where is the "not interested, let's get down to business" option?

This guy gets it.

If your wife/gf/significant other isn't giving up the oral sex then you ****ed up.

LMAO

exactly

it's been so long that if it happened now, i'd probably call the police and tell them I'm being attacked.

You are not American sir. Please find the nearest exit and move to Canadia or Iceland or something.

Does your wife not love you?

I'm starting to wonder LMAO

kinda agree with this one. its only a few minutes before I'm saying "I wish this was in your vagina instead"

If by that you mean not be the most exciting person to ever walk the face of the planet, sure.

That's the thing with Tinder et al as dude. You're competing against a ton of other dudes for attention, and if there's really nothing to differentiate yourself from the others then you're toast.

At the end of the day it was just nice to message someone for a bit.

This. Never really cared much about BJ's. Only was excited by them if sex wasn't an option.

I'll take sex over a BJ any day.

Hold on. You're abandoning talking to chicks for 2 years because a Tinder convo went bad??

You want a ring on it? I do too! /points downward

Seriously though, I assume sex and oral and all that is pretty much a non issue for guys under 40. We liberated those bitches. From thongs to twerking. Our hard work has paid off. If not, you really did **** up.

That's why there is a week every month called hummer week!

No offense, but you definitely need to implement the middle step of most post-breakup plans. If you're not an interesting person, make yourself an interesting person.

http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/...#ixzz3MMkvXxEY

A few minutes of head is better than no minutes of head.

Anytime I want. Learn how to barter.

I can get a BJ in the car, while watching football, whenever I want.

C'mon, baby. Let's make a deal.
Usually only costs me a 15 min message.

LMAO

Yes, the increased ease of access to porn has helped tremendously.

Blow jobs are foreplay. I love my wife enough to not blow in her mouth...often...

He is a lost cause.

Exactly this.

We'd get along.

She loves me enough not to mind.

Wait a minute.

You're telling me you send girls a Rico post and you can get insta-fellatio?

On a side note, the GF before this one never spilled or spit a drop.

You'd think that shit had Tussin' in it.

Mine too, hence the "often" but I'd rather give her what we both really want is all. That's just what's best in my house.YMMV

What can I say, the girl is a reader.

ROFL ROFL ROFL

LMAO

LMAO

One minute of penis sucking before sex is not a blowjob.

1 minute of foreplay is the leading cause of divorce I'd guess.

Nah. I began that nine months ago. I kept up messaging the Tinder chick because she started it and was curious to see how far I could go before I'd stop getting replies.

Neither is sticking it in your farm animals' mouths.

Yes, all aggie fans are animal ****ers.

Ladies and gentlemen, the new Keg in KC.

Her rationale is that when we get down to business, it's a whole production.

She's got to get hers first, and that takes a while. But she knows how to hit my release valve in about 3 min. With a 3 yr old in the house it's quicker and easier just to get me off when I need it, and then I always end up giving her hers during that rico post.
I'm really ****ing loving the way things are now. She's pretty hot, so I can really need some relief at any given moment.
We have been together for 5 years, and went through a really dry period after the kid....it was not easy for me.
Now it's like twice a week or more. I can definitely live with that.

Fire up that Pip Boy and allocate more points to Charisma.

How about points in employment beyond freelance writing at $50 a job and announcing for $10/hr for 10 hours a month?

Everyone knows the ring goes on the blowies stop.

Kids let this be a lesson for you. Avoid the ring as long as possible. Or stash Ho money.

Not true.

Gents,

If your woman won't go down you might need to clean up the area. If that fails, shame her into it.

"Really? Wow. Every girl I've ever been with does this."

Post the convo here.

LMAO

"honey...15 pieces of flare is the minimum. You do want to do more than the minimum, don't you"?

That too.

me too. or at least without a heads up

I don't think this is Universal Truth.
I am in the camp that Oral is part of a healthy sexual relationship.
That being said, I am healthy

This I don't get.

A ladygarden is a lush patch of land, but a mouth, a mouth has . . . dexterity.

Vagslappin' is like a good roller coaster, throw your hands in the air and ride like your hair's on fire.

But a BJ with a modicum of expertise. Often is the time I black out, and wake up later like I'd hibernated all winter with a sammich and beer on the night table. Bitch could've robbed me blind in the mean time.

BJ's turn me into a fainting goat.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/xsAgNl1p974" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

You know who else gave blow jobs? The Nazis, that's who.

LMAO

If you guys sucked a little more dick you'd know that you all like it differently.

I'm not falling for this again.

ROFL

I created a poll about this with my original account. In that thread we learned that Guru does not like blow jobs and he doesn't understand why anybody would make their wife do that.

ROFL - from now on your avatar will be moaning 'I picked the wrong week to stop sucking cock.'

oral sex is overrated imo


never really ask for it or whatever, it rarely occurs

Whenever I can pin her down.

That's so cool that you're willing to give your husband a blowjob in exchange for a harmless massage. You're a righteous dude.

I try not to give it to guys that often.

Wait... that wasn't in the poll? nm

check your pm's...

LMAO

never get married problem solved.

Check your PM's.

I could get it more often than I do but my girlfriend is so terrible at it I usually stop her about 5 minutes in anyway.

:(

A lot of small talk.

Real gentlemen don't talk about this kind of thing.









Right Clay?

Use porn to teach her.

My wife used to be terrible at it too.

CP is a lot of small talk.

I won't say 75% of the shit I say here in real life.

Truth.

Post it, Eeyore.