Renaming the Chiefs: Round 1, Heat 9
 

The rules are:

1. You can vote 'yes' on as many as you like, AND you can vote 'no' on as many as you like. Feel free to run wild.

2. The winner of the heat will be the name that has the highest net score (yes minus no). This will reflect the name that has the most satisfaction and least disapproval. In other words, it will be the least controversial name.

The entrants have been selected randomly from the nomination thread and I've thrown in some late additions.


As background, assume that it's 2024. President Ted Nugent has just distributed holsters to every American household. He is now seeking to build consensus across the parties, so he names Elizabeth Warren as the nation's "sports czar". Elizabeth's first order of business is to eliminate Native American-themed sports names, because there's nothing she hates more than white people making money by appropriating native american culture.

So the Chiefs have no choice but to change names. If they don't, the team will be banned and a new replacement team will be formed in Los Angeles, because if you keep putting teams there, eventually people will start watching them. (That tentative team name is the Los Angeles Trembling Fawns if you're curious.)

In a bit of good news, they're allowing the fans to select the new name, so we're on the clock. Do your best work, people.

My votes are below.

Positive - River Kings. River Kings is a great name. It brings back memories of Mike Fink and the old west, but not in an anti-Indian way. This is a great name.

Neutral - Blues, Ocelots. I really like the name Blues, but there's a hockey team of some sort in Missouri that has the name. And it doesn't work well with the uniforms. I like Ocelots. I could go with Ocelots, but not enough to vote for it.

Negative - Saucers, Sizzle. I suggested Saucers as a politically correct name, but i'm learning that there are much better names. Sizzle sounds like the name of a strip club, which is not a bad thing but it would require a complete revamping of the cheerleader strategy.

Final tally:

River Kings -10
Blues -11
Sizzle -18
Ocelots -19
Saucers -20

I like River Kings.