Renaming the Chiefs: Round 1, Heat 1
 

The rules are:

1. You can vote 'yes' on as many as you like, AND you can vote 'no' on as many as you like. Feel free to run wild.

2. The winner of the heat will be the name that has the highest net score (yes minus no). This will reflect the name that has the most satisfaction and least disapproval. In other words, it will be the least controversial name.

We'll have 16 heats in Round 1, with one winner per heat. The entrants have been selected randomly from the nomination thread.


As background, assume that it's 2024. President Ted Nugent has just distributed holsters to every American household. He is now seeking to build consensus across the parties, so he names Elizabeth Warren as the nation's "sports czar". Elizabeth's first order of business is to eliminate Native American-themed sports names, because there's nothing she hates more than white people making money by appropriating native american culture.

So the Chiefs have no choice but to change names. If they don't, the team will be banned and a new replacement team will be formed in Los Angeles, because if you keep putting teams there, eventually people will start watching them. (That tentative team name is the Los Angeles Trembling Fawns if you're curious.)

In a bit of good news, they're allowing the fans to select the new name, so we're on the clock. Do your best work, people.

I'm going yes on Coelacanths and Cavepeople. Coelacanths are pretty cool creatures and I like how they hid from us for 5,000 years. Cavepeople would allow us to keep the arrowhead on the helmet.

I was neutral on Wolves. It's not thrilling, but I'm not against it.

I'm voting against Savages and Slabs. We're too civilized a team to be Savages. If we were Slabs we would never be in the basement of the diivision since slab foundations don't have those. However, I can't figure out what the Slabs would have on their helmets.

I like wolves.

I'm very against any name that doesn't end in an s.

No on Wolves. The Timberwolves have that and they suck.

Militarize the Chief brand. Washington Generals, KC Chiefs

Why is “Indigenous Peoples” not on the list?

We're not ready for the p.r. problems of that.

No "Mulletheads" option?

I have trouble with KC Wolves because it makes me think of our googly-eyed goofy mascot. I've never understood why our current mascot is a goofy wolf that doesn't match any of the team's branding. I think they got the costume on sale from a Wolf team that was shutting down.

I believe we're over-thinking this. Very little has been said about the Chiefs name being in the crosshairs. Part of the name came from former mayor Bartle, known as "The Chief". Second, if we get overly PC, will that force us to change other titles such as Chief Executive Officer (CEO), Fire Chief, Commander-In-Chief, and others? Yeah, Redskins has to go unless they change their logo to a potato. I can see the Cleveland MLB team changing their logo, too. Maybe even cutting out the tomahawk chop and the war song or whatever that is. But I think we're OK with the name.

I'm very very political uncorrect. Snowflakes can go to hell as far as I'm concerned. Chiefs stay the Chiefs. If I had my way Chief Wahoo would still be the Cleveland Indians' mascot. With that being said my choice in this pole would be Coelacanths part one simply because I had no idea what it was and Slabs in part two because I don't think a slab of bacon would look good on the side of our helmets. :harumph:

Not gonna happen

WolvesPlanet.com...... nope.. I’m happy the way it is now..

The Blue color scheme there is not legible.

Oh and one of the better options was Redlegs and it is not on your list of finalist names. Bad choices.