Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11203351)

True story: First time my ex swallowed. She directed the action, I obliged. A bit later we were getting some food and she talked with food in her mouth. I jokingly said "don't talk with your mouth full". Well, she went off thinking I was referencing the earlier swallow. Try as I might, I couldn't convince her it was just a silly joke and in no way was I referencing the swallow. I bailed out and went to take a shower.

Moment later, she kicked in my glass shower door wielding a 12 inch knife at me, seeting, with eyes that could kill you alone and threatening to kill me. I bolted out, grabbed the knife hand, slammed it against the wall, dislodging the knife. I eventually made it to my phone and dialed 911. I hope she is doing well.

Originally Posted by Kman34 (Post 11203425)

After 28 years of marriage my wife was kind of meh about BJs. We kind got in a rut because of raising the girls and working so much it was hurry up and do it and let's go to sleep...
I decided to do some manscaping one day and holy shit she was fascinated by it and couldn't leave it alone.... it also looked huge with its new hair cut..LMAO

Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11203572)

Sigh. I could use a blowjob.

Originally Posted by Chocolate Hog (Post 11203578)

Come over.

Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11203586)

I've only got $3.50.

Originally Posted by Buzz (Post 11203617)

Hold out and get it for free.

Originally Posted by Chocolate Hog (Post 11203578)

Come over.

Originally Posted by Chocolate Hog (Post 11203571)

I guess I got a blowjob last week and told the gal she needs to work on her skills. Shes offering to blow me again.

Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11203572)

Sigh. I could use a blowjob.

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower (Post 11202628)

BABOU! HE REMEMBERS ME

Originally Posted by Dayze (Post 11203926)

LMAO. The last few comments

Originally Posted by BigRedChief (Post 11203948)

Check your PM's

Originally Posted by Dayze (Post 11202786)

it probably smells like motorcycles and freedom down there.


so I'm not really sure what the problem is. Probably going to spritz a little Stetson or Aqua Velva down there to sweeten the deal.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 11203390)

If that's some kind of a shot at me then kindly go **** yourself.

Originally Posted by booger (Post 11203010)

You Put the bald man in
You pull the bald man out
And you shake it all around
That's what it's all about

Originally Posted by Baby Lee (Post 11203991)

Jesus Christ!!

Rhythm is definitely NOT gonna get you.

That might be the whitest, most middle aged, ****ing casserole supper and TV Guide, shit I've read in a while.

Originally Posted by Baby Lee (Post 11203971)

ROFL ROFL - I love the smell of Daze dong in the morning, that gasoline smell

Originally Posted by Buzz (Post 11203912)

ROFL

Incest must be a bitch?

Originally Posted by Cochise (Post 11202217)

Where is the "not interested, let's get down to business" option?

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 11202659)

I am curious, however. How often does she finish?

Originally Posted by KC native (Post 11204352)

LMAO holy **** this thread took off.

Originally Posted by Easy 6 (Post 11203336)

Did she have a bad experience in her younger days, too many guys too much?

I was with a girl for 6 months like that, she'd do ANY damn thing but swallow because of an ugly incident in her past... I guess thats what happens to girls from an "escort service" without the muscle a pimp is supposed to provide.

But yeah, you're anonymous brucey 72 on the web... what was her deal, why wouldnt she go down?

Originally Posted by brucey_72 (Post 11204407)

I will put it this way. 4 grown men went to prison for what they did when she was 5-12yrs old.
So no i dont push it and never will, if she decides to then that will happen when it happens. I cant blame her and am just happy she didnt turn lesbian.

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 11202897)

cooter? really?

You might want to change up your vernacular about your wife's pussy around your wife. Maybe try.........Meat Wallet?

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 11202901)

That's actually her name for her vagina.

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 11202907)

Seriously? That's awesome......:LOL:

Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11202986)

The T-Rex:

When you are doing a girl from behind, preferably close to the edge of the bed, and you grab her by the shoulders and lift her up. This results in her swinging her arms aimlessly like a T-Rex while making moaning noises.

"Dude.. what was all that noise.."
"Oo.. I t rexed that bitch"
"Sahweet"

Pairs well with a donkey punch.

Originally Posted by go bowe (Post 11203347)

**** 'em...

Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11203351)

True story: First time my ex swallowed. She directed the action, I obliged. A bit later we were getting some food and she talked with food in her mouth. I jokingly said "don't talk with your mouth full". Well, she went off thinking I was referencing the earlier swallow. Try as I might, I couldn't convince her it was just a silly joke and in no way was I referencing the swallow. I bailed out and went to take a shower.

Moment later, she kicked in my glass shower door wielding a 12 inch knife at me, seeting, with eyes that could kill you alone and threatening to kill me. I bolted out, grabbed the knife hand, slammed it against the wall, dislodging the knife. I eventually made it to my phone and dialed 911. I hope she is doing well.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 11203390)

If that's some kind of a shot at me then kindly go **** yourself.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 11204433)

Top notch back and forth here. ROFL



That sounds like it's almost as fun as "The Rodeo ****". Bareback a chick, stick it in her ass after pinning her arms and legs down, then whisper in her ear "I have AIDS". If you can hold on for 8 seconds you qualify for a score.



Absolutely!



Holy shit!



Bro, I'm really sorry if you're sensitive about it. I was just cracking a joke. Honestly I figured you'd get a chuckle out of it. My bad. I never got the impression you didn't get laid because you couldn't. I assumed that it wasn't worth the hassle to you. So, you have my apologies if that made you mad.

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower (Post 11204376)

What did you expect? You took a shot at Billay in the amount of time it takes Alex Smith to feel phantom pressure in the pocket.

Originally Posted by Mojo Jojo (Post 11204810)

I went by the gf's office today with some snacks because she has to get some year end work done...ended up getting blown in her office chair

Originally Posted by Baby Lee (Post 11204821)

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/custo...avatar45_3.gif


Go oooonnnnnnn!!!

Originally Posted by Baby Lee (Post 11203991)

Jesus Christ!!

Rhythm is definitely NOT gonna get you.

That might be the whitest, most middle aged, ****ing casserole supper and TV Guide, shit I've read in a while.

Originally Posted by BDj23 (Post 11204902)

New girlfriend is a freak in the sack.

Originally Posted by BDj23 (Post 11204902)

New girlfriend is a freak in the sack.

Originally Posted by BDj23 (Post 11204902)

New girlfriend is a freak in the sack.

Originally Posted by BDj23 (Post 11204902)

New girlfriend is a freak in the sack.

Originally Posted by BDj23 (Post 11204902)

New girlfriend is a freak in the sack.

Originally Posted by RockChalk (Post 11202243)

This. Never really cared much about BJ's. Only was excited by them if sex wasn't an option.



I'll take sex over a BJ any day.

Originally Posted by BDj23 (Post 11204902)

New girlfriend is a freak in the sack.

Originally Posted by KC native (Post 11204969)

Does it concern you that she is a freak already? I mean somebody had to teach her. :evil:

Originally Posted by BDj23 (Post 11205324)

Nope. Not at all

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11202558)

Well no. If you're not excited about being a high school sports announcer, then no, I don't want to hear about it.

But if you love it. If you love the kids, the atmosphere, the booth. If it's the tradition, or the smells, or the sounds that keep drawing you back. If it mattered to you in any way, I would.

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower (Post 11206004)

And you don't think that a 20-something guy displaying any of what you've mentioned here won't come off as incredibly creepy?

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower (Post 11206047)

I'm pretty fugly, but not that ****ing fugly.

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 11202897)

cooter? really?

You might want to change up your vernacular about your wife's pussy around your wife. Maybe try.........Meat Wallet?

Originally Posted by Kman34 (Post 11202921)

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11202986)

The T-Rex:

When you are doing a girl from behind, preferably close to the edge of the bed, and you grab her by the shoulders and lift her up. This results in her swinging her arms aimlessly like a T-Rex while making moaning noises.

"Dude.. what was all that noise.."
"Oo.. I t rexed that bitch"
"Sahweet"

Pairs well with a donkey punch.

Originally Posted by El Jefe (Post 11202756)

No doubt, I don't understand that. One of my buddies has a long time girlfriend of 5 years, he swears that he has only got a bj one time and it wasn't to completion, he said his gf says its too gross. Every time my wife and I have sex that's how we start. I eat a lot of box and she returns the favor every time we have sex. I thought everybody used oral as a warm up/foreplay prior to saxxing it up.

Originally Posted by mac459 (Post 11206268)

The Silverback Gorilla

Having sec with a girl doggy style..you pull out cum on her back..take your hand smear it across her back..jam your thumb in her ass really quick

She will try crawling away while screaming making sounds

Originally Posted by mac459 (Post 11206268)

The Silverback Gorilla

Having sec with a girl doggy style..you pull out cum on her back..take your hand smear it across her back..jam your thumb in her ass really quick

She will try crawling away while screaming making monkey sounds

Originally Posted by beach tribe (Post 11206273)

The pirate:

Nut in her eye, and kick her in the shin.

She'll hop on on leg covering one eye screaming arrrrrrrrrgggg!


The dolphin:

Try to stick it her ass and she says "eh eh, eh eh, eh eh"

Originally Posted by BigRedChief (Post 11205585)

I can see why.
http://www.themockdock.com/wp-conten...1148578790.jpg

Originally Posted by brucey_72 (Post 11204407)

I will put it this way. 4 grown men went to prison for what they did when she was 5-12yrs old.
So no i dont push it and never will, if she decides to then that will happen when it happens. I cant blame her and am just happy she didnt turn lesbian.

Originally Posted by MikeMaslowski (Post 11207343)

Every single day, without question. I love this woman more than life itself.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 11208344)

to each his own.

not betraying my wife with details.

Originally Posted by KC native (Post 11209117)

Then why are you posting in this thread dipshit?

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 11209482)

I don't owe you an answer, overcompensator.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 11208344)

to each his own.

not betraying my wife with details.

Originally Posted by jspchief (Post 11209569)

I have to agree. Seems pretty low class.

Originally Posted by KC native (Post 11209694)

I bet you have a pretty boring sex life.

A lot of Americans are too uptight about sex. Apparently you and dipshit are part of that crowd.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 11209960)

i've seen jsp's wife.. i highly doubt it.


you're prolly married to a hog.
no?
let's see her..what's that? you won't show a pic? but you''ll talk about her giving head?

yup, low class.

Originally Posted by KC native (Post 11209991)

Hooray for missionary position and no-head sex lives like you and jsp have.