Renaming the Chiefs: Round 1, Heat 2
 

Note: We have 16 heats in this round.

The rules are:

1. You can vote 'yes' on as many as you like, AND you can vote 'no' on as many as you like. Feel free to run wild.

2. The winner of the heat will be the name that has the highest net score (yes minus no). This will reflect the name that has the most satisfaction and least disapproval. In other words, it will be the least controversial name.

We'll have 16 heats in Round 1, with one winner per heat. The entrants have been selected randomly from the nomination thread.


As background, assume that it's 2024. President Ted Nugent has just distributed holsters to every American household. He is now seeking to build consensus across the parties, so he names Elizabeth Warren as the nation's "sports czar". Elizabeth's first order of business is to eliminate Native American-themed sports names, because there's nothing she hates more than white people making money by appropriating native american culture.

So the Chiefs have no choice but to change names. If they don't, the team will be banned and a new replacement team will be formed in Los Angeles, because if you keep putting teams there, eventually people will start watching them. (That tentative team name is the Los Angeles Trembling Fawns if you're curious.)

In a bit of good news, they're allowing the fans to select the new name, so we're on the clock. Do your best work, people.

Okay, my voting is:

Positive - Crimson. The Kansas City Crimson has a nice ring to it. And it's kind of a return favor to Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Neutral - Hammerheads. I'd scratch my head about this as a name given that Kansas City is hundreds of miles from an ocean, but whatever. I wouldn't vote against it because Hammerheads are cool, but I won't vote for it.

Negative - Scourge, Catastrophe, Sauce. The world needs to know that we're the good guys. Scourge and Catastrophe sound like other AFC West villain teams. And while I like Sauce, I don't really see it as a name that will strike fear into our enemies.

write in?

smoke

It's in the tourney. You'll get your voting opportunity when its heat comes up. No pun intended.

It needs to be something woke AF.

That way the people we are trying to appease (not the fans, but the twitter folks) can see that we went from super duper offensive to woke AF and then all should be forgiven.

If the plural form doesn't end in an S, I'm not voting for it.

No WNBA team names

On a similar vein, I think I'll be voting against anything that's a person. If we go with something that's a human being of any type, it'll be open for criticism because there's no group, vocation, or regional depiction of humans that can't be traced to something bad.

Oddly, I don't think there's a single sports team in America called the Rapists. You'd think there'd have been some AA baseball team in a prison town in the 1940s that would have gone for it.

The Kansas City Woke.


:hmmm:

Oh no

WOLFPACK or CHEFS

Do I get a "I Voted" sticker?

We're all about unity here. We can't reward you without rewarding the non-voters as well. You may have an "I was alive and in the vicinity on voting day" sticker if you like.

Can you add a "they all suck" option?

I think the positive to negative ratios will tell that story, particularly in this heat.