ChiefsPlanet

ChiefsPlanet (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/index.php)
-   Nzoner's Game Room (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/forumdisplay.php?f=1)
-   -   Poop Man almost masturbates himself to death (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=339171)

Munson 07-24-2021 06:35 AM

Man almost masturbates himself to death
 
I'm pretty sure this guy is a forum member. LMAO

https://nypost.com/2021/07/23/man-ne...-masturbating/

Quote:

‘Right-handed man’ almost masturbates to death: medical case study

By Ben CostJuly 23, 2021 | 9:30am | Updated


This fellow redefined “mind-blowing sex” after he suffered a life-threatening stroke while repeatedly masturbating. Now, medical experts are saying he’s lucky he escaped the ultimate unhappy ending.

The unnamed “51-year-old right-handed man” from Japan admittedly enjoyed pleasuring himself several times a day, according to the new case study published in the medical Journal of Stroke and Cerebrovascular Diseases.

However, one explosive self-love session went awry when, after climaxing, the serial stroker was struck down by “thunderclap” headaches and severe vomiting.

Unnerved by the unsexy symptoms, the man rushed himself to Nagoya City University Hospital, where he was found to have low blood pressure and confusion — two telltale signs of a cerebrovascular accident, according to the medical case study.

Emergency medical technicians suspected he had a stroke while stroking — and a subsequent CT scan confirmed that the man had indeed suffered a subarachnoid hemorrhage (SAH), a potentially fatal type of stroke sparked by ruptured blood vessels in the space surrounding the brain.

Prior case studies have reported that sex — including the autoerotic variety — “was the immediate preceding activity before a ruptured aneurysm in up to 14 percent of patients,” according to clinical neuropsychologist Dr. Amee Baird, author of “Sex in the Brain: How Your Brain Controls Your Sex Life” (Columbia University Press, 2020). The risk of death by sex-induced stroke can be compounded by taking cocaine or Viagra before the act.

The man survived his near-fatal orgasm ordeal and was released from the hospital within two weeks in excellent condition, according to doctors.

However, he should thank his lucky stars he didn’t achieve the opposite of a happy ending, as a ruptured brain aneurysm causes “death in 40 percent of cases,” Baird reported. Meanwhile, two-thirds of survivors are left with serious neurological deficits.

This isn’t the first time someone has suffered a vascular mishap during an act of self-gratification. In 2016, a Bronx hospital worker allegedly died of a heart attack while masturbating to porn at work, according to police sources.

Mr_Tomahawk 07-24-2021 06:43 AM

Who hasn’t?

Kman34 07-24-2021 07:01 AM

I’m lucky I survived my teenage years..

burt 07-24-2021 07:50 AM

"Masturbation is a lot like poker....and I have a great hand...."

Hog's Gone Fishin 07-24-2021 07:57 AM

Great! Something else to worry about.

Wisconsin_Chief 07-24-2021 08:03 AM

This thread should be a classic.

:popcorn:

Frazod 07-24-2021 08:07 AM

<a href="https://imgflip.com/i/5hhlhp"><img src="https://i.imgflip.com/5hhlhp.jpg" title="made at imgflip.com"/></a><div><a href="https://imgflip.com/memegenerator">from Imgflip Meme Generator</a></div>

Spott 07-24-2021 08:09 AM

Looks like it’s time to go southpaw.

siberian khatru 07-24-2021 08:47 AM

Amateur

MahomesMagic 07-24-2021 08:48 AM

he had a stroke while stroking

DJJasonp 07-24-2021 08:54 AM

only important question: Did someone clear his browser history???

Peter Gibbons 07-24-2021 08:57 AM

Someone please cue up Clarence Carter and Billy Squier.

Flying High D 07-24-2021 09:15 AM

Did he remove the apps from his phone?

Mennonite 07-24-2021 09:43 AM

Three months of edging while thinking about Aaron Rodgers has finally caught up to Knowmo.

Rainbarrel 07-24-2021 09:44 AM

I guess the slit palms surgery was cancelled.

displacedinMN 07-24-2021 10:14 AM

Have to admire his stamina

Coochie liquor 07-24-2021 10:16 AM

Was his name Chucky Marstein (SoA)

gblowfish 07-24-2021 10:20 AM

Almost done in by Rosie Palmer!

scho63 07-24-2021 10:45 AM

****ing amateur!

Titty Meat 07-24-2021 10:51 AM

Had a similar experience when I found out theres a g spot in the colon

New World Order 07-24-2021 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titty Meat (Post 15753325)
Had a similar experience when I found out theres a g spot in the colon

LMAO

cabletech94 07-24-2021 11:49 AM

What? No mention of “the stranger”?
/asking for a friend.

vailpass 07-24-2021 11:51 AM

What a jerk.

Bowser 07-24-2021 11:54 AM

You guys tossing around puns is really cranking up the cringe

Bill Brasky 07-24-2021 12:06 PM

That’s a tough beat.

smithandrew051 07-24-2021 12:23 PM

Olympic Track and Field trials were almost too much for Ubeja

Rain Man 07-24-2021 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munson (Post 15753113)
Prior case studies have reported that sex — including the autoerotic variety — “was the immediate preceding activity before a ruptured aneurysm in up to 14 percent of patients,”

I guess we should add this to the "most dangerous things that are completely legal" thread.

FAX 07-24-2021 01:20 PM

Japanese dude has a strong masturbation game.

FAX

Zebedee DuBois 07-24-2021 01:24 PM

Does that make it the best (albeit most dangerous) orgasm he ever had?

Will all future orgasms not quite measure up/

eDave 07-24-2021 01:27 PM

Obligatory:
<iframe width="680" height="383" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/F6n4EWqABCI" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Holladay 07-24-2021 01:33 PM

Quote:

within two weeks in excellent condition
I wonder what he is up to now?

Holladay 07-24-2021 01:34 PM

Quote:

I guess we should add this to the "most dangerous things that are completely legal" thread.
BEAT me to it.

Iconic 07-24-2021 01:54 PM

At least now we know what Ubeja has been up to these days

Rain Man 07-24-2021 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX (Post 15753495)
Japanese dude has a strong masturbation game.

FAX


My impression is that Japanese women are cute and inaccessible, so it makes sense.

burt 07-24-2021 02:20 PM

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=5h...&feature=share

Sent from my LM-X410(FG) using Tapatalk

T-post Tom 07-24-2021 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 15753535)
My impression is that Japanese women are cute and inaccessible, so it makes sense.

Your impression is accurate. Although the “inaccessible” aspect is not difficult to overcome. Not unlike traveling to Vietnam on a ship. :)

FlaChief58 07-24-2021 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 15753535)
My impression is that Japanese women are cute and inaccessible, so it makes sense.

I can tell you from my time in Japan that the women there are not inaccessible.

suzzer99 07-24-2021 05:29 PM

Seems like sticking to low-intensity masturbation is the correct play.

Rain Man 07-24-2021 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T-post Tom (Post 15753585)
Your impression is accurate. Although the “inaccessible” aspect is not difficult to overcome. Not unlike traveling to Vietnam on a ship. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlaChief58 (Post 15753690)
I can tell you from my time in Japan that the women there are not inaccessible.

Pics or ... well, I don't want you to leave even if there are no pics, so I can't finish the threat. So just ... pics, please.

eDave 07-24-2021 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suzzer99 (Post 15753784)
Seems like sticking to low-intensity masturbation is the correct play.

Slow and steady for a proper sauce.

REDHOTGTO 07-24-2021 05:55 PM

man ya gotta pace yourself

tyecopeland 07-24-2021 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holladay (Post 15753505)
I wonder what he is up to now?

Let's find out.

Carcosa! What have you been up to?

cabletech94 07-24-2021 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tyecopeland (Post 15753829)
Let's find out.

Carcosa! What have you been up to?

Ha ha!! It is implied that carcosa spanks the monkey quite often!! Ha ha!!

Sannyasi 07-24-2021 09:49 PM

He couldn't tell if he was coming or going.

BigRedChief 07-24-2021 10:04 PM

1 Attachment(s)
From 1875

JohnnyHammersticks 07-24-2021 10:26 PM

It took 46 posts for this? :eek:

https://i.imgflip.com/allt4.jpg?a435072

headsnap 07-25-2021 04:44 AM

almost...

ChiliConCarnage 07-25-2021 05:58 AM

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AcclaimedS...restricted.gif

ptlyon 07-25-2021 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siberian khatru (Post 15753202)
Amateur

Glad this was the first post. So CP.

Beef Supreme 07-25-2021 08:17 AM

Haven't caused a stroke , but have induced a wicked muscle cramp. Seemed just as serious at the time.

Munson 07-25-2021 07:04 PM

https://nypost.com/2021/07/14/man-ho...arly-to-death/

Quote:

Man nearly strangles his penis to death with rubber bands

By Ben Cost July 14, 2021 | 10:53am | Updated

An Illinois man suffering from dementia was hospitalized after binding his genitals with rubber bands until his penis began to rot.

“Strangulation cases like this are thankfully rare,” Dr. Fardod O’Kelly, a urological surgeon at Beacon Hospital in Dublin, Ireland, told the Daily Mail of the grisly case, which was reported in the medical journal Urology Case Reports.

O’Kelly added, “This is important as the arterial compression means no blood flow in, and that means no oxygen supply, so the organ begins to die.”

The 81-year-old male had initially reported to the hospital after suffering from diabetic ketoacidosis — a potentially deadly reaction to low levels of insulin stemming from his uncontrollable diabetes. It was there that the Chicago native’s wife revealed that he’d wrapped his scrotum in rubber bands and refused to remove them for three days.

However, when asked about his testicular tourniquet, the man seemed confused.

Nonetheless, a subsequent examination revealed that the patient’s phallus was indeed severely swollen and had turned yellow and purple, signifying that it had begun to die.

Doctors deduced that the man’s unconventional hog ties had staunched the blood flow and damaged his member, which, when coupled with his poor circulation from his underlying diabetes, had resulted in “a necrotic or gangrenous state
,” per the case study.

In order to prevent further degradation, doctors burned out the dead flesh with a hot wire and excised it with scalpels. They also inserted a catheter into the unfortunate soul’s urethra to drain the reservoir of urine that had pooled because the patient’s groin garrote had prevented him from peeing.

With the help of antibiotics, the patient recovered within five days. However, he failed to appear at his follow-up appointment two weeks later, according to the medical report.

Nonetheless, the phallic asphyxiation sufferer should thank his lucky stars as doctors projected that he could’ve lost his member had he left the “ball gag” on any longer, the Daily Mail reported.

“An organ like the penis could probably tolerate this for a couple of hours (if you don’t pass out with the pain), however eventually the pressure becomes too great and the arteries become compressed as well,” O’Kelly claimed.

The urologist added, “In theory, if you left it long enough the penis could fall off, but I’ve never seen that happen.”

This is unfortunately not the first case of phallic strangulation, a practice generally associated with psychiatric disorders and sexual deviancy. Last year, a Ukraine man had to be hospitalized after his wife fastened a “chastity nut” to his penis to stop him from sleeping around.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:03 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.