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-   -   Life Just Took Head In The Car From 50 Year Old (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=287667)

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:09 PM
Just Took Head In The Car From 50 Year Old
 
Sitting in the bar on 92 and Shea, watching the game. Unknown Cougar being frisky, says let's step out at half time. Gobbles like a pro. Best part? She gets in her car and leaves after. Can watch the second half piece aside from the boys running shit...

threebag 10-20-2014 08:12 PM
She had mouth sores

Marcellus 10-20-2014 08:13 PM
LMAO, worthy of a thread for sure. Cougar head in a parking lot during halftime. CP dream stuff.

Pasta Little Brioni 10-20-2014 08:13 PM
Knowmos mom?

Mr. Flopnuts 10-20-2014 08:13 PM
ROFL The ****...

The Franchise 10-20-2014 08:14 PM
:thumb:

doomy3 10-20-2014 08:14 PM
:clap:

gblowfish 10-20-2014 08:14 PM
His name was Russell.....

Hammock Parties 10-20-2014 08:15 PM
Gross, dude. You are a despicable human being.

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 11034852)
Knowmos mom?
God wouldn't that top it off?

Deberg_1990 10-20-2014 08:18 PM
How do you know she was Ebola free?

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth (Post 11034860)
Gross, dude. You are a despicable human being.
Sometimes when a mommy and daddy love each other very much...

Katipan 10-20-2014 08:19 PM
She had a penis.

Saul Good 10-20-2014 08:19 PM
Took head? I'm...I'm not sure I've ever heard that phrase.

bsroyals54 10-20-2014 08:19 PM
dick to mouth resuscitation stops the length of conversations

Katipan 10-20-2014 08:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish (Post 11034859)
His name was Russell.....
Dammit

Katipan 10-20-2014 08:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 11034877)
Took head? I'm...I'm not sure I've ever heard that phrase.
Obviously you've never been raped by blow job.

Saul Good 10-20-2014 08:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034875)
She had a penis.
Yes. It was in her mouth. Try to keep up.

Demonpenz 10-20-2014 08:21 PM
Wendy's giving Wendy's again

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034875)
She had a penis.
I hand checked that before we went outside. Standard procedure...

Katipan 10-20-2014 08:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 11034884)
Yes. It was in her mouth. Try to keep up.
No, I have a good 15 years before I have to resort to this.

Saul Good 10-20-2014 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034881)
Obviously you've never been raped by blow job.
Glad frazod isn't around anymore, or he'd call vail a rapist for the next decade.

Katipan 10-20-2014 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 11034890)
I hand checked that before we went outside. Standard procedure...
Whew!

listopencil 10-20-2014 08:23 PM
Just a day in the life.

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034892)
No, I have a good 15 years before I have to resort to this.
They don't all have your mental resources. Some of them just have to get to it...

cabletech94 10-20-2014 08:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034892)
No, I have a good 15 years before I have to resort to this.
niiiiiiiiiiiice. the perfect age.


/creepy rob lowe.

Hammock Parties 10-20-2014 08:25 PM
Can you catch Ebola through the peehole?

Demonpenz 10-20-2014 08:25 PM
Did she swallow..I once stickied up my power my windows by a wayward wad

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonpenz (Post 11034913)
Did she swallow..I once stickied up my power my windows by a wayward wad
I'll not speak of a lady in such a manner...

Reerun_KC 10-20-2014 08:30 PM
STDs. Way to ggo stud.

splatbass 10-20-2014 08:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 11034919)
I'll not speak of a lady in such a manner...
If she was a lady that wouldn't have happened....

lcarus 10-20-2014 08:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034881)
Obviously you've never been raped by blow job.
Female to male blowjob rape has never occured in history.

"Nobody has ever said 'Stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police'"!
-George Carlin

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by splatbass (Post 11034928)
If she was a lady that wouldn't have happened....
Doesn't change how I roll...

PRIEST 10-20-2014 08:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deberg_1990 (Post 11034872)
How do you know she was Ebola free?




this :doh!:

Reerun_KC 10-20-2014 08:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034881)
Obviously you've never been raped by blow job.
Dude just got head from some 50 year old transvestite then posted on CP how he had some dude blow him in a parked car.


Don't be so hard on him.

lcarus 10-20-2014 08:35 PM
Stop sucking my dick unless you can provide documentation that you're ebola free!

Said no one ever.

Marcellus 10-20-2014 08:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034881)
Obviously you've never been raped by blow job.
I have been pretty much raped by a BJ. I had to shift gears to regular sex because she was sucking so hard it hurt. Like she was trying to literally remove my penis with her mouth.

Weird as shit.

Pasta Little Brioni 10-20-2014 08:38 PM
Xztop take notes....

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reerun_KC (Post 11034923)
STDs. Way to ggo stud.
It's head. From a paradise valley spoiled rotten Angelina Jolie look alike. Good for a laugh for us both but no std risk...

Katipan 10-20-2014 08:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcellus (Post 11034950)
I have been pretty much raped by a BJ. I had to shift gears to regular sex because she was sucking so hard it hurt. Like she was trying to literally remove my penis with her mouth.

Weird as shit.
You know what's even weirder? The string of men that have just flipped the gears to sex instead of just telling the chick the truth.

That poor girl is going to hurt someone someday and it could have been avoided.

"baby baby i love that you love it, but be nice to him."

lcarus 10-20-2014 08:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcellus (Post 11034950)
I have been pretty much raped by a BJ. I had to shift gears to regular sex because she was sucking so hard it hurt. Like she was trying to literally remove my penis with her mouth.

Weird as shit.
It takes a lot to get that golf ball through the garden hose.

BigRichard 10-20-2014 08:40 PM
http://rs1img.memecdn.com/its-a-trap_o_361728.jpg

BigRedChief 10-20-2014 08:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 11034960)
It's head. From a paradise valley spoiled rotten Angelina Jolie look alike. Good for a laugh for us both but no std risk...
She's probably married. Your going to hell.

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034962)
You know what's even weirder? The string of men that have just flipped the gears to sex instead of just telling the chick the truth.

That poor girl is going to hurt someone someday and it could have been avoided.

"baby baby i love that you love it, but be nice to him."
If a man is that fragile he needs to quit playing.

Marcellus 10-20-2014 08:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034962)
You know what's even weirder? The string of men that have just flipped the gears to sex instead of just telling the chick the truth.

That poor girl is going to hurt someone someday and it could have been avoided.

"baby baby i love that you love it, but be nice to him."
Probably true but you know a guy never wants to bitch about a BJ.

Reerun_KC 10-20-2014 08:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 11034960)
It's head. From a paradise valley spoiled rotten Angelina Jolie look alike. Good for a laugh for us both but no std risk...
Yeah you can transmit STDs with oral sex. If he has any sores in his mouth or herpes. You were at serious risk. They exchange of his saliva to your pecker would be scary enough. Taking head from some strange dude isn't the smartest thing you have done lately.

Marcellus 10-20-2014 08:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 11034977)
If a man is that fragile he needs to quit playing.
Dude you have no idea what that was like. She made a Dyson look like a Dustbuster.

lewdog 10-20-2014 08:47 PM
So 53 seconds in heaven with a chick who probably does this a few times a week, x 52 weeks, x 25 years makes you probably about the 2600 guy who's gotten that BJ.

WORTH IT!

Reerun_KC 10-20-2014 08:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcellus (Post 11034992)
Dude you have no idea what that was like. She made a Dyson look like a Dustbuster.
Okay how do you know the difference between the two vacuum products?

lcarus 10-20-2014 08:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcellus (Post 11034992)
Dude you have no idea what that was like. She made a Dyson look like a Dustbuster.
Do you uh...have her email address by chance? :)

The Franchise 10-20-2014 08:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reerun_KC (Post 11034987)
Yeah you can transmit STDs with oral sex. If he has any sores in his mouth or herpes. You were at serious risk. They exchange of his saliva to your pecker would be scary enough. Taking head from some strange dude isn't the smartest thing you have done lately.
You've got to be the most worthless poster on this board. And that's ****ing saying a LOT.

Easy 6 10-20-2014 08:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 11034875)
She had a penis.
ROFL just what a Denver fan deserves.

Reerun_KC 10-20-2014 08:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestilence (Post 11035000)
You've got to be the most worthless poster on this board. And that's ****ing saying a LOT.
Thanks. Means absolutely nothing coming from you.

DaFace 10-20-2014 08:50 PM
Well, whatever you're into I guess.

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigRedChief (Post 11034971)
She's probably married. Your going to hell.
Recently widowed. I know who the named husband through the trades...would never get with another guys woman knowingly.

Easy 6 10-20-2014 08:50 PM
But as long as no peen was involved, thats some Penthouse Letters material.

You go you.

Marcellus 10-20-2014 08:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reerun_KC (Post 11034998)
Okay how do you know the difference between the two vacuum products?
Just using an analogy man. No way I stick my wiener near anything t hat could suck as hard as a Dyson. A Dustbuster? Maybe.



Quote:
Originally Posted by lcarus (Post 11034999)
Do you uh...have her email address by chance? :)
I could probably get it for you but just so you know she is now (not then) married to a guy who looks like a gorilla on steroids. Maybe his penis looks like that too which might explain how they worked out.

lcarus 10-20-2014 08:51 PM
And now we have a Reerun vs Pestilence back and forth! Kinda came out of nowhere but...CHIEFSPLANET LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! TELL ME YOU AREN'T ENTERTAINED!

Mennonite 10-20-2014 08:51 PM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/oRy6j4ZErjk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

The Franchise 10-20-2014 08:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lcarus (Post 11035018)
And now we have a Reerun vs Pestilence back and forth! Kinda came out of nowhere but...CHIEFSPLANET LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! TELL ME YOU AREN'T ENTERTAINED!
Oh there's no back and forth. Dude is a ****ing mouthbreather. He's literally worthless.

Reerun_KC 10-20-2014 08:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcellus (Post 11035015)
Just using an analogy man. No way I stick my wiener near anything t hat could suck as hard as a Dyson. A Dustbuster? Maybe.





I could probably get it for you but just so you know she is now (not then) married to a guy who looks like a gorilla on steroids. Maybe his penis looks like that too which might explain how they worked out.
Just messing with you. ROFL.

bdj23 10-20-2014 08:53 PM
I just got a BJ too!

High five!

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reerun_KC (Post 11034987)
Yeah you can transmit STDs with oral sex. If he has any sores in his mouth or herpes. You were at serious risk. They exchange of his saliva to your pecker would be scary enough. Taking head from some strange dude isn't the smartest thing you have done lately.
:)

lcarus 10-20-2014 08:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestilence (Post 11035025)
Oh there's no back and forth. Dude is a ****ing mouthbreather. He's literally worthless.
Either way. CP is entertaining me tonight for whatever reason. Oh...I'm a little bit high. Probably explains it.

Reerun_KC 10-20-2014 08:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lcarus (Post 11035018)
And now we have a Reerun vs Pestilence back and forth! Kinda came out of nowhere but...CHIEFSPLANET LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! TELL ME YOU AREN'T ENTERTAINED!
It never disappoints. But I have a 3 am wake up call to fly to south Texas in the morning. I can't stay up and play. And pestilence is good people. He is probably just bored and figures that we could fling some trash back and forth.

Maybe next time. Need some zzzzzz's.

lcarus 10-20-2014 08:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BDj23 (Post 11035030)
I just got a BJ too!

High five!
I just jerked off!

High five! (might wanna slap the right hand though...I'm a lefty. Unless you like the feeling of high fiving a freshly Jergens-moisturized left hand)

Big Poppa Payne 10-20-2014 08:56 PM
When you were finished did she put her dentures back in and have you drive her back to the nursing home?

The Franchise 10-20-2014 08:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reerun_KC (Post 11035038)
It never disappoints. But I have a 3 am wake up call to fly to south Texas in the morning. I can't stay up and play. And pestilence is good people. He is probably just bored and figures that we could fling some trash back and forth.

Maybe next time. Need some zzzzzz's.
God damnt you son of a bitch. Fight me!

thabear04 10-20-2014 08:57 PM
:clap:

vailpass 10-20-2014 08:58 PM
Guys giving me shit about continuing on my phone with this thread. You guys are all assholes. But here comes another marg...

keg in kc 10-20-2014 08:58 PM
We'll look back at this thread in 50 years, remembering where it all started, the pensioner penthouse letters.

eDave 10-20-2014 08:58 PM
It aint that hard to get a BJ on 92nd and Shae. I don't even hang out up there anymore. Those chicks will blow anybody. Doesn't make me feel special anymore.

Katipan 10-20-2014 08:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcellus (Post 11035015)
I could probably get it for you but just so you know she is now (not then) married to a guy who looks like a gorilla on steroids. Maybe his penis looks like that too which might explain how they worked out.
They never do. :(


EXCEPT OF COURSE FOR EVERY MALE IN THE FITNESS THREAD.

Saul Good 10-20-2014 09:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lewdog (Post 11034996)
So 53 seconds in heaven with a chick who probably does this a few times a week, x 52 weeks, x 25 years makes you probably about the 2600 guy who's gotten that BJ.

WORTH IT!
She must have be ****ing amazing at it by now.

Saul Good 10-20-2014 09:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11035052)
It aint that hard to get a BJ on 92nd and Shae. I don't even hang out up there anymore. Those chicks will blow anybody. Doesn't make me feel special anymore.
That's a great story.

vailpass 10-20-2014 09:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eDave (Post 11035052)
It aint that hard to get a BJ on 92nd and Shae. I don't even hang out up there anymore. Chicks are pieces of shit.
Dude that knows the territory, have a friend down by here. And you're right, cougar place. But this one was was good. Jolie like though no doubt altered. Whatever. Good temporary diversion. You sound a little bitter though. Game gone?

Rain Man 10-20-2014 09:51 PM
I for one congratulate you on your accomplishment. I'm going off memory here, but it seems very difficult to find a woman at random who will do this.

You're sure it was a woman, right?

Why Not? 10-20-2014 10:22 PM
Sorry. Gotta agree with Edave here. Even that dude who started a thread about not being able to get laid could get laid at 92 and Shea.

Prison Bitch 10-20-2014 10:24 PM
Have i ever told the story of the Porto potty sex outside arrowhead during the 2000 chiefs-rams game?


I really don't want to actually

Titty Meat 10-20-2014 10:24 PM
Say bruh did you lick her ass?


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