ChiefsPlanet - 101 random roasts by misc Roastmasters

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- - 101 random roasts by misc Roastmasters - Thread #2 (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=274123)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 9788702)

64. teedubya

Well, what can one really say about teedubya? He has a bubbly personality and was involved somehow in the SOC thing (I don't really remember the details, so it couldn't have been that impressive).

Claims to be a fan of the Chiefs and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. But, what really seems to turn him on are conspiracy and other kooky theories. Here's just a partial list:

Is hoarding gold because he believes that the collapse of the dollar is imminent. Unfortunately, he started claiming this about seven years ago, so imminent may have a different definition for him.

Believes that 9/11 was an "inside job." Completely rejects all debunking evidence and probably still would if he were a passenger getting stabbed in the neck by a guy who looks like Frankie yelling "Allahu Akbar!"

Believes that the Fukushima nuclear event was a catastrophe worse than Chernobyl and that hundreds of thousands would die from the radiation. Body count? Zero. Also had a memorable melt down during the BP oil spill in the Gulf, but not quite as bad. Stopped eating fish and shrimp as a result, which probably saved more seafood than died during Fukushima. He's not exactly svelte.

As a nice bonus, he also believed that Japan was going to "slide into the sea" during the event. I keep pretty good track of the news, but haven't seen confirmation of this yet, but maybe it got glossed over by Wimbledon or something.

HAARP. This one really is the pièce de résistance of teedubya's crazy. In case you don't know, HAARP is an acronym for High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, a harmless radio program up in Alaska run by some nice military folks and DARPA. Anyway, teedubya postulated that HAARP caused the earthquake which led to the tsunami which caused the Fukushima event (see above). Seems reasonable, right? Well hold on sonny! He also theorizes that HAARP was also causing those pesky earthquakes down in Arkansas a while back AND is responsible for the infamous "radar rings." So, quite a versatile gadget, this HAARP. Of course, teedubya never gives any reason why DARPA would want to use HAARP in that way, which is fun.

Pros: Seems to be a faithful and ardent fan of the Kansas City Chiefs. May actually be clinically-insane, but that's common among Chiefs fans, so we are going to let that one slide. Likes sending very strange rep messages, including things about "having no soul" and "places in Hell for people like you."

Cons: I can't really think of any.

Outlook: Will probably have a stroke at one point when he gets all worked up over some kooky theory and end up immobilized in bed drinking his food through a straw, wondering if I'm watching. Just don't look under the bed, teedubya.

Red Alert: Shocking Fukushima Radiation On Flight From Chile To The U.S. Atlanta to Oregon

This is for all those who …

… still don’t know what has been reported here since the beginning of the Fukushima nuclear disaster.

… think that the Fukushima disaster is over.

… think that Fukushima is far away and doesn’t affect them.

… still trust our government & the mainstream media.

For my readers this is just a reminder to stay alert.

http://www.infiniteunknown.net/wp-co...e-To-US-61.jpg

http://www.infiniteunknown.net/2013/...le-to-the-u-s/

Alex Smith HATER
HATE LEADS TO SUFFERING
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $164101
___________________________

This guy would best served/roasted by an old-timer such as Skip or Bob Dole, he was a lot more vulnerable around the early 2k's when I wasn't yet a member. However; I'm fairly confident there is plenty of loser, low-life material to work with here, as all that really happened since then are: Claythan lost weight, and got a few jobs and bought a 1983 Mercedes that blew up or something, that story was never made clear as to just WHAT exactly happened .

There are a few good things about Clay, but let's move through this shit storm to find the two mini chocolate chips at the end.
Claynus apparently lives w/ an aunt or grandmother or some other distant 'unknown' relative , the relationship is very distant, he goes and gets his food at dinner-time, aside from that he never goes upstairs. Has a trapper-keeper he saved from 7th grade w/ 'Cellar Dwellar' decals over the hot air balloon model. Really does have a 'Tranny Porn' folder on his desktop which is password protected and named something obscure such as: 'Chiefs' or 'Texas' or something.

GoChiefs went to downtown Spring to buy a PO Box to persuade online Houston babes that NO HE DOES NOT live w/ Aunt Kay! I'm not sure of Clay's online username on Plenty of Fish - but there is about a 100% chance either Jawa or Greedo are in it, somewhere. GoChiefs would never admit this here, but he has messaged 85,000 women, his goal is to get to 152,000 by or before Alex Smith throws a 300 yard game.
There is little doubt that Clay is a chauvinist, he despises women, actually he loves them but can't get a steady, so he claims they're 'inferior' -- Don't feel bad though ladies, Clay is that way w/ the men at cock n balls dot com, too. Claynus's school of thought roles over into fashion and anything of value or nice. He literally see's no value in pricier 'higher quality' items, or is it because he can't afford them? You guys decide. I remember him bitching about the price of the Chili's dinner he'd took a girl out to, on a first date, never the less. Once this guy said he only will pay for his OWN supper on the first date, I know you're cheap bro, but come on.

Pros: He has 77,000 threads, 600 threads that actually DID achieve 100+ post count, you do the math here. He's managed to obtain a decent body after watching numerous episodes of Knight Rider while listening to CC Music Factory. He DID bite the bullet in the San Diego MNF/bash game w/ the nastyness outside, stayed out in the stadium area, he's your very own 'true fan' the thing that he claims the others are and he is NOT. Stay focused Claynus, get the girl from OK Cupid once Aunt Kay IS actually out of town and there may be a chance Note: Be sure Aunt Kay leaves that food money!! Moving to Kansas City next year may be the best chance for Red 5 to come out of the closet, as there is a huge gay population in Kansas City - so there's that, bud.

Cons: This guy has about 27 active mults, last estimation. Some have over 37k posts!!

so, Even Auntie Kay makes fun of Goatse, for several reasons, but the main reason is his collection of PeeWee's Playhouse, yes he has every episone, yes DVD remastered! he's amazing - do you know this guy once IM'd his sister by accident indicating he wanted to cam-sex her - only it was much more graphic and a butt-plug was involved, if you know what I mean. Keep your head up and pronounce your words, work on your voice volume-level and maybe you can pull a girl in real life, like the mall or Medieval Times or something, I don't know man!

2014 outlook: I'm not sure where to go here, you have all the gifts to enter into production of some sort, but your timid deameanor and quivering persona won't get you there, and no they don't care how good you are at The Matrix trilogy Jeopardy, or that you can name ALL of the planets in Star Wars and all of the characters in the bar Han Solo had the Greedo shootout w/.

Honestly, ask me and I'd recommend an Anthony Robbins program for your future endeavors, he's very current and tempered for today's business world.

Has Jeff Francoeur been roasted yet?

Quote:

Originally Posted by L.A. Chieffan (Post 9789777)

Has Jeff Francoeur been roasted yet?

Nobody likes you.

I've asked around.

Couldn't get through it. Sorry

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun (Post 9789778)

Nobody likes you.

I've asked around.

Whoa...you didn't ask me.

I don't like him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun (Post 9789778)

Nobody likes you.

I've asked around.

Yeah?

Well Jeff Francoeur.

How about them apples?

Bullshit, I shouldn't be roasted until the top 10.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9789781)

Whoa...you didn't ask me.

I don't like him.

Jeff Francoeur thinks you're a pussy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9789791)

Bullshit, I shouldn't be roasted until the top 10.

ROFL
I am going to sleep with a giant happy smile on my face. I thank you.

The thought of how upset you must be that you are ranked so low just tickles my chitlins.

oh this thread was supposed to still have 'structure' ...?? - pfft... that diminished long ago.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9789791)

Bullshit, I shouldn't be roasted until the top 10.

aaaaaand

youuuuuuuu're

outta heeeeeeeeeeeeeere

Bahahahaha shit just got real

Quote:

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 9789809)

Bahahahaha shit just got real

Clay's so pissed he's beating all the animals in his house.