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ick....
If I remember right, the seats in the back of a patrol car are very small and very hard fiberglass. |
WTF is a castration fetish? If you get your balls cut off, isn't it impossible to get a boner? The thing you do to get off make sit impossible to get off, no?
And, no, I aint looking it up to find out. |
THIS STORY IS FALSE
But entertaining and until I researched it a bit I was convinced we are living in a Quentin Tarantino Movie. Click knowing it's false:
Spoiler!
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Yeah, the 25 gallons of fryer oil kind of tips us off. The people who write these things should be working a little harder. If it was two gallons, or maybe even three, it would potentially be believable. But 25 gallons immediately ruins the fantasy. That said, my favorite tabloid story was about a new hobby of skydiving without a parachute. The participants had to hit trees so the branches would slow their fall. I could see it in my mind's eye. |
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'Miracle Man' survives 7 hours in Tampa heat, fire ants after collapsing in parking lot
TAMPA, Fla. -- Doctors are calling him the Miracle Man. Clifford Rice, 49, defied the odds after spending seven hours lying unresponsive in a parking lot. His organs were shutting down after he collapsed, while searching for his car after a concert in Tampa. “The last thing I remember is the ants coming for me," Rice said. Fire ants were covering Rice's face. "A lot of them," Rice said. Exhausted from the heat, Rice had a seizure in a parking lot across from Raymond James Stadium while trying to find his car after working as an usher at the Tim McGraw concert in September. Rice tried calling for help, but dropped his cellphone, and ended up stuck under a random vehicle. https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/r...in-parking-lot |
Here Mr. Gator, this Bud's for you!
https://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-a...000600555.html PALM CITY, Fla. – A Florida man is accused of enticing an alligator to bite his arm and pouring beer into its mouth after his friend caught the reptile. Timothy Kepke, 27, of Hobe Sound and Noah Osborne, 22, of Stuart were arrested Oct. 3. Each was charged with unlawfully taking an alligator, a felony. According to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission report, a complaint was received in August about Kepke holding an alligator. A video apparently showed Kepke trying to get the alligator to bite his arm and giving beer to the reptile, after which, the alligator reacted aggressively. Officers said they went to Kepke's home on Sept. 17 and Kepke told them he was the person in the video. Kepke told officers Osborne caught the reptile with his bare hands in Palm City on Aug. 26. He said they later released the gator alive. Kepke also told officers he had had a couple of beers, but wasn't drunk when the incident happened. A female friend was there when the incident happened, Kepke told the officers. On Sept. 21, officers spoke with the friend, who confirmed what Osborne and Kepke said. The woman told officers she thought the reptile bit Kepke because of his actions. Kepke and Osborne were arrested Oct. 3 and taken to the Martin County Jail, where they were later released on bond. |
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">A traffic stop in Florida led to the arrest of three people for drug possession and a Florida man's mugshot going viral.<a href="https://t.co/00ZqEb4bCQ">https://t.co/00ZqEb4bCQ</a> <a href="https://t.co/Q3tMg7dM2h">pic.twitter.com/Q3tMg7dM2h</a></p>— WFLA NEWS (@WFLA) <a href="https://twitter.com/WFLA/status/1182747951938060289?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 11, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
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https://boswelling.files.wordpress.c...ad-bad-bad.gif https://66.media.tumblr.com/1d1d52b2...6scko1_400.gif https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-st...03891154-4.gif |
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https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...ZhJZBIufkce8kg |
Florida man ‘dry humps’ stuffed Olaf doll at Pinellas Park Target,
PINELLAS PARK — A St. Petersburg man was arrested Tuesday after police said he “dry humped" multiple stuffed animals at the Park Place Target, including Olaf, the snowman from the wildly successful Disney film Frozen. The other victim was a large stuffed unicorn. Police said Cody Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg, entered the store around 2 p.m. Tuesday. He walked up to a display of merchandise from Frozen, picked a large Olaf stuffed animal, placed it on the floor and proceeded to rub himself against it until he ejaculated. Then he put it back on the display. Authorities said Meader then walked into a toy aisle and grabbed another stuffed animal, this time a large unicorn, and rubbed himself against it as well. Meader was detained in the store where police said he admitted to doing “stupid stuff.” Police said his father, who was not at the scene, told them Meader “has a history of this type of behavior.” According to an arrest report, the dolls were removed from the store and destroyed. Meader was charged with one misdemeanor account of criminal mischief and taken to Pinellas County jail. He was released on $150 bail that same day. He has no prior arrest history in Pinellas County. Police said it is unknown if mental health is a factor. https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/...et-police-say/ |
"We just caught this dude ejaculating on a stuffed animal in public."
... "Do you think mental health is a factor in this crime?" ... "We don't know." FAX |
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I think we can all agree that the Unicorn is a Jungian Archetype and, as such, represents all that is evil and fearsome in the world. Therefore, if a guy wants to bang evil as an expression of dominance, I suppose that could be considered a form of relative sanity.
It's the Olaf sex that seems inconsistent with rationality. He's probably the least attractive Disney character ever. FAX |
Do you wanna **** a snowman?
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