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el borracho 02-08-2007 10:31 PM

What do you call a gay dinosaur?



A megasoreass!

Simplex3 02-08-2007 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by el borracho
What do you call a gay dinosaur?



A megasoreass!

LMAO

Sam Hall 02-08-2007 10:32 PM

AFC questions: Biggest issues for every team

Feb. 8, 2007
By Pete Prisco
CBS SportsLine.com Senior Writer

Kansas City Chiefs

Does Trent Green come back or is this now Damon Huard's team?

Green looked awful in the playoff loss to the Colts, which could force the Chiefs to make a move to re-sign Huard. If they do, Green will have to take a restructured deal to stay with the team. Green didn't play well after taking the shot to the head early in the season. Age is a factor, too.

http://cbs.sportsline.com/nfl/story/9984109/3

Simplex3 02-08-2007 10:34 PM

Two women are playing golf when one of them slices her shot into a foursome of men. To her horror, one of the men collapses in agony with both hands in his crotch. She runs to him, apologizes, and explains that she is a physical therapist and can help ease his pain.

"No thanks, just give me a few minutes... I'll be fine..." he replies quietly with his hands still between his legs. Taking it upon herself to help the poor man, she gently undoes the front of his pant and starts massaging his genitals.

"Doesn't that feel better?" she asks.

"Well... yes... That feels pretty good," he admits. "But my thumb still hurts like hell."

Simplex3 02-08-2007 10:35 PM

What the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo.

Sam Hall 02-08-2007 10:36 PM

The red-headed stranger from Blue Rock, Montana,
Rode into town one day.
And under his knees was a ragin' black stallion,
And walkin' behind was a bay.
The red-headed stranger had eyes like the thunder,
And his lips, they were sad and tight.
His little lost love lay asleep on the hillside,
And his heart was heavy as night.
Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.

A yellow-haired lady leaned out of her window,
An' watched as he passed her way.
She drew back in fear at the sight of the stallion,
But cast greedy eyes on the bay.
But how could she know that this dancin' bay pony,
Meant more to him than life.
For this was the horse that his little lost darlin',
Had ridden when she was his wife.

Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.

The yellow-haired lady came down to the tavern,
An' looked up the stranger there.
He bought her a drink, an' he gave her some money,
He just didn't seem to care.
She followed him out as he saddled his stallion,
An' laughed as she grabbed at the bay.
He shot her so quick, they had no time to warn her,
She never heard anyone say:

"Don't cross him, don't boss him.
"He's wild in his sorrow:
"He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
"Don't fight him, don't spite him;
"Just wait till tomorrow,
"Maybe he'll ride on again."

The yellow-haired lady was buried at sunset;
The stranger went free, of course.
For you can't hang a man for killin' a woman,
Who's tryin' to steal your horse.
Tthis is the tale of the red headed stranger,
And if he should pass your way,
Stay out of the path of the ragin' black stallion,
And don't lay a hand on the bay.

Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.

milkman 02-08-2007 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplex3
BLONDE TERMINOLOGY



Anally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase
Hangnail -- coat hook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favouring young people
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal Illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited

Stupefied--dying your hair blonde

Simplex3 02-08-2007 10:39 PM

What can a woodpecker do that a man can't?

Whistle out of his pecker.

Simplex3 02-08-2007 10:40 PM

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman? A 40 year-old woman wants to have children, a 40 year-old man wants to date them.

How does a man keep his youth? By giving them money, furs and diamonds.

2112 02-08-2007 10:42 PM

Alright..I'm all caught up.

Simplex3 02-08-2007 10:43 PM

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Simplex3 02-08-2007 10:44 PM

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? one is made out of plastic and dangerous for kids, and the other holds groceries.

58-4ever 02-08-2007 10:45 PM

Why don't women need watches?


There's a clock on the stove.

Bugeater 02-08-2007 10:46 PM

http://bundyology.com/sfg/510s2.jpg

Simplex3 02-08-2007 10:47 PM

How are girls and mermaids similar?

They both look like girls from the waist up, and they both smell like fish from the waist down.


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