Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One turns to the other and says: "Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?" The other muffin turns to him and says:"AHHHH a talking muffin!"



http://forums.breakthetrend.com/images/smilies/uhh.gif

While in prison, Hank and Jim, two convicts thought long and hard about their criminal life. As a result Hank started studying to become a lawyer. But Jim,.... he decided to go straight.

This one will get this thread kicked into the D.C. forum but here it goes:

HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHT AS PRESIDENT in January 2008 Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long.......... The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Washington says, "Never tell a lie." "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that." The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." "Ohhh! I really don't want to do that." On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Lincoln says, "Go to the theater!"

Did you hear about the Indian who went to the tea party?


He went home afterwards and had a tea pee.

An traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, then he saw something, far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out.
The parched wanderer asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"
The man replied "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes."
The desperate man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"
"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want."
The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight.
Three hours later he returned.
The man at the card table asked, "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"
"I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other two escaped with minor injuries

Bill Clinton was coming back to the white house one day after vacationing in Arkansas with two baby pigs under each arm. He greeted the guard at the door and said proudly: "How do you like my pigs, I got this one for Hillary and this one I got for Chelsea". The guard replied: "Good trade sir."

go bo poured some sugar into his cup of tea and stirred it clockwise. He took a sip. It was too sweet. So he stirred it counterclockwise! :p



(Sorry go bo. I needed to assign a character to that joke. Yours came to mind first!)

Three hilbillies are walking the fence line on the farm and come across a sow that'd been caught in the barbed wire.
First hillbilly says: "You know, I wish that Pig was Cindy Crawford..."
Second hillbilly says: "You know, I wish that Pig was Brittany Spears..."
Third hillbilly says: "You know, I wish it were dark...."

This blonde calls the fire department, says here house is on fire, come quick. All excited, she hangs up the phone. A few minutes go by, no sirens, she calls back, quick come now, my house is on fire, hurry..... about to hang up again the fire dispatcher said , Lady, Lady, How do we get to your house ? The blonde replied, " Duh, the big red truck ".

This blonde was taken to the emergency room with severe burns on both sides of her face. When asked how this happened, she said:

"Well I was ironing. The phone rang and I got confused and picked up the iron instead of the receiver."

"Well," asks the doctor, "this explains one side of your face. How about the other side?"

"I had to call the hospital, didn't I?""

Little Johnny was in class one day and the teacher was having the kids write somrthing on the blackboard that scares them. She waited till Johnny was last because he always disrupted the class. Johnny takes his turn last, walks up and puts a period mark on the blackboard. The teacher asks him how that scares him. Johnny says it doesn't, but it scare the hell out of my sister.

Ah!! Period..... I get it,... I guess.:LOL:

Here is the second:

Reporter: President Bush, what do you think of Roe vs. Wade?

W: I don't care how people get out of New Orleans just as long as they get out.