No matter where I’m at, or what I’m doing... lunch is always magically ready, and perfect

My nails are perfectly groomed forever. This includes toe nails as side Baby Super Power bonus.

The ability to bust a gnarly deuce in my diaper and have it cleaned up within minutes magically. I want the full treatment- crevices cleaned, powder applied, tit sucking after.

Shit in my diaper and it then wraps itself on someones face.

Don't babies triple their weight in a year? I think you may be in trouble with your baby superpower.