Don’t stick your dick in crazy.

Do something more rewarding than being on the editorial board for SaveOurChiefs.

Play good football

Never join a club that would let someone like you become a member.

Figure out what you are good at...

and learn to love it.

I wouldn't tell anyone this isn't good advise.

But I spent a lot of time in my mid to late twenties surrounded with people who decidedly had their act less together than I did.

They sure knew how to party.

:D

Start your own business if you don’t go to college.

If you go to college major in engineering and minor in business.

Nonono. It's "don't marry crazy."

Sticking your dick in crazy is fun. It's when you stick around long enough to learn their names that you get yourself in trouble.

I'll go with Warren Zevon's advice on Letterman "Enjoy every sandwich."

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Never trust a fart after 50. Your gaskets ain’t what they used to be.

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed...

Don't root for a team whose owner has a bowl cut.

1. Have someone to look up to.
2. Have something to look forward to.
3. Have someone to chase.

Watch Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar speech. Changed my life.

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Bit specific but it's the one piece of advice I'd have given myself. Don't have kids before you're ready, no matter who or what is pushing you to do so. BUT do try and get yourself ready as early as possible. There's loads that you can't prepare for and it'll hit you like a train. But there's also a lot you really can think about ahead of time. You don't want to be worrying about money and you don't want to be an old, knackered dad. But it's also too much fun to not do, if you can.