When you have to piss, you take your time no matter how long it takes and make sure your bladder is empty. If you don’t, small stones can start to build up in your bladder and the doctor has to run a tube that at the time appears the size of a fire hose with a claw on the end up your pecker and pull out those ****en rocks.

So, I piss often and I take my time.
Also mix in some cranberry juice 🥤 imo
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Okay now this is epic

My biggest fear.

That dick don't run me I run dick!

ONCE AGAIN LORD, I BEG YOU TO GET THE NFL SEASON UNDERWAY!

Gave me a Valium before like **** that, 1 Valium for sticking a claw up my cock? Then the nurse comes in and started washing me up saying she was going to numb me, so she grabs my crank and puts a syringe in the hole and BAM! She squirts that whole syringe right up into my nuts, bladder, I think I might have tasted it.
I said “what the ****, lady?”, and she said it was best to get it done as fast as possible.

So, I suppose it worked as well as it could. Doc came in and ran that hose(tube) up and pulled out three stones. I watched it with him on a tv the whole time. Nurse stood there holding my poor dick the whole time.

Got done limped out to where the wife was waiting for me and she took me home, whimpering like a kicked dog. Felt like I was pissing razor blades for a few days.

**** that nurse
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I piss like a race horse, long and steady stream.

How about a 124 day shit?

I'll start as an infant. My mom will be mad, but it's only 54 days for her as well. Less than two months old and never have to change a pissy diaper again.

When pounding beers I like the break from conversation and take a long, relaxing piss.

Mark me down for "spreading it out".

Would you rather:

1. Always feel like you have to take a shit, but never shit

Or

2. Shit like normal, but never know when it’s coming

When you say never know when it's coming you mean like it could happen any time of day or it will just happen with no warning as in if I don't happen to be already sitting on the toilet I'm just going to shit my pants?

Your options are shitty!

Restroom breaks are very valuable for checking your phone and taking a break from extroverts. I can't see giving that up.

You wouldn't have to wait in line in the bathroom waiting for an opening at the urinal trough at Arrowhead during half time or any time of game. Not even have to worry about a Johnny on the Spot that stinks.