I don't know....sometimes when you really gotta go, and there's no one around to interrupt you, and the bathrooms cool and dry....a good poop can feel better than just about anything

You're like 4th on my greatest ****ing guy on earth list, tooge.

I should have said "better than wiping".

Hey ****face, I'm not a deadbeat when it comes to life, just human beings.

Asshole!

Meanwhile, his thread has 3,000 posts, and your recent threads about genetic mapping, a prayer thread, and the movie "42" have 56, 49, and 4 replies respectively.

Well then tell me a ****ing entertaining story then...

I told about 9 stories and had everyone rolling.

It's pretty easy to say "everyone has these stories" and then not tell them...

Give me something 50% as funny as my nuva ring story...

Exactly.

I live the stories, and then I also have the ability to be captivating when I retell the stories to total strangers online.

So keep bashing me and calling me unoriginal and claiming everyone can do what I do...

Because that's easy.

But if you have a funny, captivating, real life ROFL story...****ing tell it, or stfu.

Given that this is a message board, "you had to be there" stories don't work. I'm sure the gay jokes were side-splitting, but if that's the best example of a funny Phobia exploit you've got, it's probably time to stop shitting all over a guy who can actually take a humorous event from real life and translate it into a funny story online.

Wow, I guess tooge should just kill himself, right? Doesn't meet the Saul Towne thread approval rating. LMAO

I always wondered what happened to the villains in teenage angst movies 15 years down the line. After the family money bankrolled business failed. After the super hot sorority whore girlfriend became the insufferable shrieking bitch soccer mom to his ritalin-addled brats. Holed up in the den, surfing the internet all day. Waiting for mommy and daddy to finally die so he can get money without the begging, crying and lectures.

I guess they spend their time endlessly arguing with Wickedson in the Realignment thread and living vicariously through Pootie, pining for the good old days.

Where did it all go wrong?

When that guy shows up, somebody wake me up from my nap.

Frazod,

You've lived a life where your dad loathed you, no one in your family ever showed you love, your first wife betrayed you...and now you're just a miserable, fat ****. You have nearly 100,000 posts bickering with so called 'degenerates' on an NFL message board where you're on record saying you don't watch the NFL because it's rigged.

My vice principal used to tell me something that I found hilarious but it's very fitting here!

Frazod...every time you point your finger at someone else, you're pointing three right back at yourself!!!!

Lol lol lol

Hi Phil!

Woah. That was intense. Saul Good was definitely right about your ability to tell a story.

Which one of is the fat, divorced drug addict who works at a law firm but isn't an attorney? That's the person who can best answer your "where did it all go wrong" question.

Blasting me for having an attractive family, selling a business I started up on the side, and having a little money has me reeling, btw. You should finish me off with a "you've probably got a huge dong" crack. That'll show me.

WTF is Clara Burton?

Pootie put some thought into this one. It's nice to see you reciprocate the white knighting for your hero Saul. Let's see:

1. Dad loathed pretty much everything and everybody. He's dead now. Not a shit was given. Rest of the family, at least those that are still alive - just fine. Never got much from dear old Dad - but at least I didn't get the world handed to me on a silver platter and piss it all away by being a drunken ****ing life failure. You claim your parents are wonderful people, and that's really too bad, since they clearly don't deserve to have a piece of shit like you as a son (you would deserved my dad, however - oh, the irony). Hopefully your sister picked up the slack. She'd probably have a cure cancer to fully balance you out, though.

2. Married too young. She "betrayed" me! Meh. I "betrayed" her too. At least I never infected her with an STD. This tactic really doesn't work anymore - it's not like I'm pining for my ex or ever think about her. I'm really pleased with the current one, though. We've been together for 15 years now.

3. And most of my posts, certainly the ones I enjoy the most, have nothing to do with degenerate cowardly scum like you. You just don't pay any attention to those, and since they're largely aimed at good, adult people, seriously, why would you?

4. I'm still fat. Feel better? Wait until your metabolism slows down and the five gallons of cheap swill you ingest every night start to catch up to you. I know what the future has in store for you, Pootie, assuming you have one. It won't be pretty.

I'll give you an "A" for effort, though. Time to crack the second six-pack of the day in celebration! :thumb:

9 POOTIES