Sorry bud, you're ****ed.

Within the first year or two of brideowanian moving in I made a couple of miscalculations that still come up all the time, including this week.

For years as a bachelor I boiled eggs and I had done it a number of times in the microwave ina bowl of water. Brideowanian tells me I'm an idiot and that you can't do that. I respond that I'm a grown ass man with large hairy testicles, a master of fire and my domain...and that I can boil a damn egg any way I see fit. She retires upstairs to shower or something.

Place 6 eggs in water, place in microwave, set timer to 3 minutes....walk into other room.

BOOM!!
The house shakes.....massive noise comes from the kitchen. A foul, egg fart smell fogs through the house. I walk in.....the door is hanging off of the microwave, the entire kitchen looks like a suicide bomber hit the Humpty Dumpty family reunion. Eggs on the far wall, eggs on the ceiling. Don't ask me how,but it happensed.

She shouted down asking what in the hell that was and what the smell was....I say noting and scurry to try to hide the egg family corpses. It's no use. She gets down in time to see the destruction.

She will bitch at me during my funeral on that one.

LMAO

I've never boiled eggs in the microwave before, but if I ever get the itch to I certainly won't now.

We good!

:clap:
she's been working at home for a week.
i've been sent home today to work.:eek:
brrrr, it's cold around here.
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I have a guest room, you're welcome to it as long as you need it. But I will have to spray you down with bleach before you can enter.

thanks, but 40years, she can surely get over it.
there's a damn pandemic going on for crying out loud.
sec

15/10.

I have all four of my grandchildren from 7:00 to 7:00. And they're not the younger cute, sweet, easy to take care of kind. One is a preteen pms'ing bitchy shit and her sister ain't far behind both boys think their job is to irritate the hell out of the girls all day long.

How the **** do you think I'm doing?

i know how you feel. screaming at em don't work anymore. it's like, you gotta shoot a ****in hole in the floor and piss off grandma to shut them all up any more.
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Should be much easier to patch a .22 bullet hole that it was to spackle the wall, remount a new pantry door and bondo the fridge.

:D

Yea, I've yanked my belt off so fast it looked like I was trying to start my lawn mower. Problem is the little shits know I'm mostly just threatening them. They're getting to big to go the spanking route. But they're not completely sure it's just threats.:evil:

Seriously though, they're not all that bad....but the two girls...at their ages...aauuuurrrrgghhhh! (Insert an emoji with a gun pointed to it's own head)

Then act like it never happened.

Having a lot of video games is quite helpful.

LMAO

Welp got the call today.

Both my son and I are laid off.