Don't take any wooden nickels.

Don’t fry bacon while naked

Great advice.

I cooked bacon once with my shirt off. I damn near knocked the pan over and spilled scalding bacon grease all over my abs.

I like to tell people they're burns from machine gun shell casings from that time i was shooting guns in the woods with my shirt off.

1. The only people whose opinions about you that matter, are the people that matter.

2. If 2 people know something, it's not a secret. Do your dirty work alone.

Treat a lady like a lady....until she acts like a gentleman. When she does...tell her to get her own dang beer.

Don't hold grudges. It takes more energy, misery and stress to hold onto anger than to let it go. You can forgive. It doesn't mean you have to forget.

Ahh yes. The good ole days.

Hate is poison you drink thinking it will make the other person sick. Or something like that.

When in doubt, choose the big uns

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When the Gravely Mower 99166 60" won't start, ask Carl to fix it

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Don't be a dick.

My brother always tells his kids and reminds them of the only life advice he says they can apply to all situations.

"Don't be a dumbass".

My signature is the best advice in any CP sig.

"Don't half ass two things. Whole ass one thing".

1. Live life to it's fullest because it's always harder, shorter and never ends the way we expect.

2. Save your money, save your money, save your money and invest wisely.

3. Go through life never intentionally hurting anyone. You'll disappoint and hurt enough people by accident.

4. Spend your life collecting experiences and happiness, not things. Things are replaceable, experiences are not.

5. Don't undervalue your parents. They'll be gone sooner than you think.

6. Learn some basic skills like how to repair a car, build something or other valuable skills.

7. Treat yourself to something nice or splurge on fancy things from time to time.

8. Don't be afraid to fail, we all do.

9. Don't make mistakes that can't be corrected. You can never put the bullet back in the gun.

10. Volunteer, donate or do charity work with those less fortunate, old, sick or poor. It changes how you look at life including your own.

11. Don't forget that apologies and manners are free to give out.

12. Don't waste time with fools, negative people or haters.

13. No one ever changed their life for the better by starting to take drugs.

14. Don't run from the police. It ends poorly.

15. Don't spend life in the past or being bitter because you'll wind up staying there.

16. Take a nap to refresh your body and mind.

17. Travel the World as it opens your mind to a variety of people, cultures, ethnicities, religions and beliefs. It's the greatest cure for prejudice as the World is filled with great people.

18. Take your health and weight seriously when you're young because it's so hard to fix as you age. Also things break down much faster and easier.

19. Find peace, tranquility and contentedness when you are alone.

20. Don't blame others for your bad decisions or your place in life.

21. NEVER, EVER stay in a job you hate. The price you pay is far greater than the money you earn.

22. NEVER, EVER stay in a bad relationship. The damage it does can not be repaired by sex or companionship.

23. Pick up the phone and call family or friends you haven't spoken to in a long time.

24. Be careful burning bridges as you may suddenly have to cross back over.

25. Forgive a family member or friend who wronged you. You may need that chip back one day.