This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by Otter

Gotta be Florida...

You should be banned a week for that photo!

Jesus ****ing christ I'm going vomit!

[scho63]

Originally Posted by MIAdragon

She’s got a great body for 53 but her mugshot proves A. She’s batshit crazy and B. Definitely 53

She's got the crazy eyes for sure just like AOC.

[eDave]

Flores says that Stephen Ross, the owner of the Miami Dolphins, offered to pay him $100,000 for every loss during 2019 season to help the team get a better draft spot. Was mad when they kept winning.

— Alex Weprin (@alexweprin) February 1, 2022

[Rainbarrel]

Why is the condition of their orange crop treated like it is? Call south America and drink something else you spoiled Karen ****s

[Dark Horse]

I think we need to revisit the naked Outback woman. Is she a waitress and if so can I get her to serve me a beer and a blooming onion like that minus the broken glass of course

[Great Expectations]

https://cbs12.com/news/local/car-tra...ft-fruit-stand



PORT SAINT LUCIE, Fla. (CBS12) — A car left on train tracks was struck and catapulted into a nearby home in Port St. Lucie.

According to the Martin County Sheriff's Office, 38-year-old Bradford Weitzel left a Martin County bar early Saturday morning to find that his car was missing.

Weitzel told investigators that he stole another vehicle in an attempt to find his own, and that it suddenly stopped dead while on train tracks along Indian River Drive.

See also: COVID-19 cases continue to fall in Florida


Detectives say Weitzel bailed from the car and ran as an oncoming train struck the vehicle and sent it flying into a nearby home.

The homeowners were asleep inside, but thankfully no one was hurt during the incident.

Deputies say Weitzel continued to flee to a nearby fruit stand, where he vandalized the stand and attempted to steal a forklift.

See also: Parents wanted for child custody interference

Eventually, Weitzel flagged down the responding deputies to ask for help finding his missing car. Deputies arrested him after he explained the events of the evening.

[TLO]

Originally Posted by Great Expectations

https://cbs12.com/news/local/car-tra...ft-fruit-stand



PORT SAINT LUCIE, Fla. (CBS12) — A car left on train tracks was struck and catapulted into a nearby home in Port St. Lucie.

According to the Martin County Sheriff's Office, 38-year-old Bradford Weitzel left a Martin County bar early Saturday morning to find that his car was missing.

Weitzel told investigators that he stole another vehicle in an attempt to find his own, and that it suddenly stopped dead while on train tracks along Indian River Drive.

See also: COVID-19 cases continue to fall in Florida


Detectives say Weitzel bailed from the car and ran as an oncoming train struck the vehicle and sent it flying into a nearby home.

The homeowners were asleep inside, but thankfully no one was hurt during the incident.

Deputies say Weitzel continued to flee to a nearby fruit stand, where he vandalized the stand and attempted to steal a forklift.

See also: Parents wanted for child custody interference

Eventually, Weitzel flagged down the responding deputies to ask for help finding his missing car. Deputies arrested him after he explained the events of the evening.

There's a lot to unpack there.

[Otter]

Originally Posted by TLO

There's a lot to unpack there.

Yep, going out and vandalizing a fruit stand is an interesting reaction to the events.

Maybe he was enjoying a Chickasaw Plum when all this happened.

[Rainbarrel]

County song in progress

[Dartgod]

[frozenchief]

Google your birthday plus the term "Florida man" to find your own Florida man.

Here's mine:

https://www.snopes.com/ap/2019/10/10...to-drink-beer/

[Hydrae]

Originally Posted by frozenchief

Google your birthday plus the term "Florida man" to find your own Florida man.

Here's mine:

https://www.snopes.com/ap/2019/10/10...to-drink-beer/

Oh, that sounds like a great game! Here's mine:

Florida man, drunk and naked, allegedly set house on fire in failed cookie baking attempt

An apologetic but confused man greeted Florida firefighters after he allegedly started a house fire as he tried to bake cookies on a George Foreman grill, according to local media reports.

Smoke was coming from the house in Niceville, Florida, on Aug. 27 when the naked man met authorities at the door, according to a police report cited by the Miami Herald. At the time, the home was filled with smoke and multiple items were on fire.

"I'm sorry," he said to them and closed the door, the Northwest Florida Daily News reports.

The man "showed no sign of understanding the danger he was in,” the Herald quotes a police report. He later told authorities that he had smoked marijuana and consumed two liters of vodka, the Herald reports.

After the man had been removed from the house for his safety, firefighters informed him that he could have died of smoke inhalation, the Daily News reports. Firefighters wore oxygen masks as they took burning items from the home.

A fire department investigation found that the man had tried to bake cookies on an unattended George Foreman grill, according to the publication. When the grill caught fire, he attempted to put the fire out using towels, which also caught on fire.

The man had obvious burns on his hands but refused medical treatment, the Herald reports.

[Grim]

Originally Posted by frozenchief

Google your birthday plus the term "Florida man" to find your own Florida man.

Here's mine:

https://www.snopes.com/ap/2019/10/10...to-drink-beer/

Wasn't sure how the results are supposed to look.... typed it in and went to images and this was the first one....

[BigRedChief]

Originally Posted by Dark Horse

I think we need to revisit the naked Outback woman. Is she a waitress and if so can I get her to serve me a beer and a blooming onion like that minus the broken glass of course

Couple of years ago I forgot to post about a man weed eating his front yard in a nice cul-de-sac, naked. Found no drugs or alcohol in his system. Must have been “naturally” crazy.

[Coochie liquor]

You can now buy the Edward Scissorhands house in Lutz.

https://registrytampabay.com/mansion...-can-be-yours/

Pics are in the link

You know this house. Heck, with stories being written about it everywhere from Creative Loafing to TMZ to the New York Daily News, everyone on the planet probably knows this house.

Why all the attention for a 3BR/2B 1,432-sqft bungalow on 1774 Tinsmith Circle in Lutz? Sure, the price hike — from $230,000 to $699,900 in less than a year and a half — is a tad eyebrow-raising, but who hasn’t heard similar stories about our head-shakingly hot real estate market?

No, it’s the stories this house has to tell, and is still telling, that have caught the world’s imagination. It’s a landmark in the work of director Tim Burton. He chose it as a location for one of his most acclaimed films, 1990’s sweetly bizarre romance Edward Scissorhands, in which an inventor almost succeeds in manufacturing a human but doesn’t get to the hands part, leaving his creation (Johnny Depp) with digits that are useful tools for barbecuing, landscaping and hair-cutting but kind of dangerous when it comes to expressing affection.

Burton had the homes on Tinsmith and environs painted in 1960s pastels, a world that that went from suburban bland to Scissortastic as Edward transformed the shrubbery and the neighbors’ lives while living with the Boggs family (including Dianne Wiest as the Avon lady who takes him in and a blonde Winona Ryder as her daughter and Edward’s eventual love interest).

The owners of the “Boggs house,” Joey and Sharon Licalzi, turned it into a museum of the movie after buying it in 2020. The purchase was a nostalgic moment for Joey — he was working as a dishwasher for a local Denny’s at the time of the filming, and a producer enlisted him to wash dishes for the movie’s craft services department. After moving in, he began collecting Scissorhands memorabilia from fans around the world, and crucially, as the Tampa Bay Times reported, from the movie’s prop master. Eventually the Licalzis had amassed enough of a collection to open their home as the free-admission Scissorland.

Now, in need of more space, they’re ceding the house/museum to the next occupant — who will be someone who a) can afford the $699,900 asking price and b) is a BIG Edward Scissorhands/Johnny Depp/Tim Burton fan. There’s no guarantee that a new owner will maintain the collection and the overall vibe, which includes replicas of the mushroom-pattered wallpaper in the Boggs’s kitchen and Edwardian topiaries created by Joey himself. But so far, says Realtor Megan Hartnell of Century 21 Affiliated, “No one has expressed an interest in separating the house from the memorabilia yet.”

The possibility remains that someone might put in that type of an offer. But, as Hartnell adds, “The price of the house rose in value tremendously because of the memorabilia included in the sale.” That, and the cost of living and comps in the area.

Hartnell says she’s received lots of interest since putting the home on the market late Thursday night, including a showing today (Monday). As the photos by Dylan Todd make clear, the house and its collection are a lot. But think of the parties — especially the barbecues!